Heard Something Today
 

I heard something today and I thought I should share it over here, maybe somebody will find it helpful.

Hope is not a strategy.

I like this saying. It's so true when we think about it and apply it to our relationships with addicts or dysfunctional people in general. You can't live on hope and expectations and hope things will improve. Only YOUR OWN actions will make things better for you--no amount of hope will ever change anything, it's just something to keep our heads up in our moments of sheer despair. Hope is not a strategy, but is simply a coping mechanism and we wouldn't have to use it so much if we detach from the dysfunctional people in our lives! I can not hope so much that my dad will come back from the grave or hope so much that it changes my mom's attitude toward me or my sister. I cannot hope and change anything. Hope helps keep us afloat when we're in danger of drowning, but only our actions will save us!

Thank you Jay, especially that last line.

Hope keeps us afloat when we're in danger of drowning, but only our actions will save us!

Beth

Wonderful...I am printing this post out! Thanks Jay!

I love it!! Definitely will be thinking about this during my days and nights!

Wow Jay, so very true.

I really need to write this on my bathroom mirror.

Thanks, Jason exactly what I needed to see today :)

I've changed my actions towards my son to protect myself from his destruction. He knows I will no longer support him and that home can never again be an option for him. He has to figure his life out for himself. I had to take these steps to protect myself.

However, I still have hope. I don't base my happiness on that hope but I also will not give up hope that someday he will lead a healthy, happy life. I see it won't be on my timeline, but, as they say, where there is breathe there is hope and that hope helps me to sleep peacefully every night.

Thank you! I've had a rough Monday. I appreciate the reminder that things don't get better until we put in the work to make it better!!! This applies with my situation at work, and also the current situation with ASD and AM.

I absolutely love that. Thank you for sharing.

gentle hugs
ke

I hope you don't think this post was discrediting hope, that wasn't my intention. Hope is a valuable thing to have and it does help us keep our sanity in most situations...again, it is a coping mechanism. But, there is a point where we need to realize that hope can't change anything, only we can. Seems you've got a great grasp on this concept! As you stated, as long as we don't base our happiness around these hopes, then it is definitely okay to have.

Love it! That reminds me of another good one: " Expectations are resentments waiting to happen."

((Jay)) Wow....you are so on target and bright! Love that phrase and it is now sitting proudly on my fridge, right where I will see it a lot!

Thank you my wise friend.

I love that, Jason.

Hope is a candle of light that I keep burning in my heart, right next to the candle of faith. Both have lit my path during dark times giving me courage to keep going.

Hugs

True. Thanks.