Ann

You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning

Accustomed as we are to change, or unaccustomed, we think of a change of heart, of clothes, of life, with some uncertainty.
—Josephine Miles

Being used to a situation, even a painful one, carries with it a level of comfort. Moving away from the pain, changing the situation, be it job, home, or marriage, takes courage and support from other persons. But even more it takes faith that the change will benefit us. For most of us, the pain will need to worsen.

In retrospect, we wonder why it took us so long. We forget, from one instance to the next, that a new door cannot open until we've closed one behind us. The more important fact is that a new one will always open without fail. The pain of the old experience is trying to push us to new challenges, new opportunities, and new growth. We can handle the change; we can handle the growth. We are never given more than we can handle, and we are always given just what we need.

Experience can't prepare us for the ramifications of a new change. But our trust in friends, and our faith in the spiritual process of life, can and will see us through whatever comes.

If a change of any kind is facing me today, I will know that I am not alone. Whatever I am facing is right for me and necessary to my well-being. Life is growth. The next stage of my life awaits me.

From Each Day a New Beginning: Daily Meditations for Women by Karen Casey © 1982, 1991 by Hazelden Foundation.

Ann

I remember in my sadder days, that as bad as my life had become it was the life I had become used to and the very thought of change scared me to death.

I was terribly unhappy, my life was a mess, and yet it was "my mess" and "the mess I knew". The thought of detaching from my son scared me...what if...what if...and yet I had no idea of how to live a life filled with joy because "joy" was something I had not felt for a very long time.

Sometimes I just had a brave day, sometimes I could mentally hear my sponsor egging me on...but slowly I began to change anyway. I had reached the point where the unknown ahead of me could be no worse than the known that was now my life, and I knew I couldn't live like I was living anymore.

Small steps in blind faith led to bigger steps in confidence and one day I realized that I truly had changed and it was all good.

The fear of change is usually worse than the actual adapting to change we experience. The nicest thing about change is that we no longer have to live in fear, and when fear turns to faith we are well on our way to a better life ahead.

Hugs

Vale

It's a lesson I've found very perplexing in life..........

Why do people prefer a known bad to an uncertain good?

incitingsilence

I ponder the same thought, no guarantees comes to mind. It is tough when you don’t have a guarantee. And when you already know all the reactions possible, for some I think there is comfort in that.

Ann

For me, I was frozen in fear. I knew how to live in dysfunction, I knew how to make it through the day and how the day would end. I knew how to isolate so that the rest of the world would not "see" me. I didn't know where change would lead me...or who I may have to leave behind....I think that scared me more than anything.

But it would have killed me if I had stayed there. Only my very life itself was important enough to make that move. Knowing I would die if I stayed where I was gave me courage to move. That's pretty sad and pretty sick, but that's how life was for me and for many here.

Today I awaken each day grateful for the beauty, happy to be alive and joyful in anticipation of what each day may bring...good or bad...because even my worst day today is better than my best day "back then".

Hugs

Krystal32

This is what I am struggling with the most currently. I've always been then type who has a hard time adjusting to change, whether it be a new job, moving, or anything like that. Change has ALWAYS scared me. So, now with all the changes that are happening in my life now that my fiance is sober, it's been extremely overwhelming because I got so use to how things were. Yes, things were bad but it was familiar to me and I always knew what to expect. Now that we have both have chosen recovery, it opens up so many opportunities and that honestly scares the crap out of me but I'm working on it.


So, this thread is exactly what I needed to see. Thank you for this Ann

Freedom1990

This was a spot-on reading for me today. I start my new job this morning, and do have a bit of anxiety.

Krystal32

Freedom- Good luck to you today! Once you get to know people at your new job and you get the training part done, it's smooth sailing from there

Kindeyes

This is how sick I had also become.

I am currently doing what needed to be done long ago. I am making the change by having no contact with my son. I am now dealing with the residual feelings of loss and anxiety but it feels marginally better than the feelings of guilt and desperation! LOL

I know that each day feels better. Each day my faith gets stronger. I can laugh (thus the LOL in the above paragraph!). I can enjoy the healthy people around me more.

Change is inevitable. Change is necessary. Change is hard. But trying to control and maintain an unhealthy status quo was killing me. My change was slow. Letting go was difficult. Trusting my higher power and the way of the universe is new and has a level of anxiety involved but I am doing it.

Acceptance of what IS has been necessary for me......trying to hold out for what COULD BE was waaaaaaay too painful and disruptive.

Thanks for sharing, Ann.

gentle hugs
ke

Kindeyes

Double post .....whoops!

ladybug34

Im,still looking for a way out!,almost 20 yrs living in this life that others dont understand and i really don't understand it myself...but this is the life I know and I do know what to expect when I wake up and when i go to bed...I can feel it coming the lies and all that goes with it...I don't know what hes doing with the drinking ,but I do knw he's on methodone treatmeant.(,says to help him ,not to gwt worse...ya whatever)the reason,the real real reason he's going to treatment is bc its easier that way..hes not getting it off the streets,and its in his system so he can buy more off the streets and no one will knw...I knw the reasons on some of the things he does and that is not to stay off of everything easle...he wants to believe it....I don't knw how I feel...I'm so numb, but its so easy to live this way ,but I'm already broken,but my little girl does not deserve this!!!!!

incitingsilence

Ladybug, you might be broken, hell we all were at one point, or maybe still are…but you can be fixed, and can heal, thrive, move on...

You hold the key, all the reasons why, every reaction, even the staying it is something personal within you. Whatever the fear, whatever the misconceptions you have about yourself that keep you chained, know that you are worth a wonderful life and yet sadly no one can give that to you, no one can save you but you.

Take the time to work on you, you do deserve to give yourself that time.

Hugs

Vale

I realize now how uninformed my question was ('perplexing').

I have learned so much from so many profoundly inspirational souls
here on SR.Every page I read is a discovery in pain,courage,and the
hope of a better day.

Thanks,Gang!

Ann

Vale, we only learn by asking questions and sharing.

Ladybug, my prayers go out that you can find the courage to change so that your little girl can live a happier life than this.

Old habits die hard, but once we embrace change we can follow our dreams and let our live become beautiful once again.

Hugs