Extreme Bi Polar
Present
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: "Happy Rock" (Gladstone) Oregon
Posts: 1,360
Where I live, and in other states in the US, there is something called Psychiatric Lockdown.
If a person has become a danger to him/herself, and/or others, they can be committed without their consent.
Your daughter has become a danger to herself by cutting herself and by threatening suicide.
She has become a danger to her daughter by exposing her daughter to what you've shared here.
She has become a danger to you by pushing you onto the ground.
Call a suicide hotline and ask them if your state will put someone in under lockdown under these circumstances. They should know and be able to tell you for free.
Also, if someone is in under lockdown and no one can afford to pay the bill after insurance (or even without insurance) the county may be required to pay. Again, check with the hotline and if they don't have the answer, they can tell you who does.
If a person has become a danger to him/herself, and/or others, they can be committed without their consent.
Your daughter has become a danger to herself by cutting herself and by threatening suicide.
She has become a danger to her daughter by exposing her daughter to what you've shared here.
She has become a danger to you by pushing you onto the ground.
Call a suicide hotline and ask them if your state will put someone in under lockdown under these circumstances. They should know and be able to tell you for free.
Also, if someone is in under lockdown and no one can afford to pay the bill after insurance (or even without insurance) the county may be required to pay. Again, check with the hotline and if they don't have the answer, they can tell you who does.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 1,288
I will do that too Meredith.
I will need to speak to her boss and ask if she can give her "leave of absance" for "whatever time" is needed.
I don't want her to loose her job and apartment because after she'll have nowhere to go and ask to come back home.
I DO NOT want her to come back here. She made everyone so stressed out in the house, nobody wanted to live here any more.
And especially if she looses her job, how long will she need to stay here.
It drove me to drink and even while on chemo I was still drinking because of the stress of her and dealing with cancer.
I've already been through so much, two cancers, had a mastectomy, 5 months later I discovered I had colon cancer, had to wear a colostomy bag while going through 9 months of chemo. I am not physically or emotionally fit to deal with her at home.
I will take care of Lexy, but I can't deal with her, she will put me in the grave.
I will need to speak to her boss and ask if she can give her "leave of absance" for "whatever time" is needed.
I don't want her to loose her job and apartment because after she'll have nowhere to go and ask to come back home.
I DO NOT want her to come back here. She made everyone so stressed out in the house, nobody wanted to live here any more.
And especially if she looses her job, how long will she need to stay here.
It drove me to drink and even while on chemo I was still drinking because of the stress of her and dealing with cancer.
I've already been through so much, two cancers, had a mastectomy, 5 months later I discovered I had colon cancer, had to wear a colostomy bag while going through 9 months of chemo. I am not physically or emotionally fit to deal with her at home.
I will take care of Lexy, but I can't deal with her, she will put me in the grave.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 1,288
Originally Posted by kiki5711 
I will do that too Meredith.
I will need to speak to her boss and ask if she can give her "leave of absance" for "whatever time" is needed.
I don't want her to loose her job and apartment because after she'll have nowhere to go and ask to come back home.
I DO NOT want her to come back here. She made everyone so stressed out in the house, nobody wanted to live here any more.
And especially if she looses her job, how long will she need to stay here.
It drove me to drink and even while on chemo I was still drinking because of the stress of her and dealing with cancer.
I've already been through so much, two cancers, had a mastectomy, 5 months later I discovered I had colon cancer, had to wear a colostomy bag while going through 9 months of chemo. I am not physically or emotionally fit to deal with her at home.
I will take care of Lexy, but I can't deal with her, she will put me in the grave.
I will need to speak to her boss and ask if she can give her "leave of absance" for "whatever time" is needed.
I don't want her to loose her job and apartment because after she'll have nowhere to go and ask to come back home.
I DO NOT want her to come back here. She made everyone so stressed out in the house, nobody wanted to live here any more.
And especially if she looses her job, how long will she need to stay here.
It drove me to drink and even while on chemo I was still drinking because of the stress of her and dealing with cancer.
I've already been through so much, two cancers, had a mastectomy, 5 months later I discovered I had colon cancer, had to wear a colostomy bag while going through 9 months of chemo. I am not physically or emotionally fit to deal with her at home.
I will take care of Lexy, but I can't deal with her, she will put me in the grave.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 1,288
I DO NOT want her to come back here. She made everyone so stressed out in the house, nobody wanted to live here any more.
And especially if she looses her job, how long will she need to stay here.
And especially if she looses her job, how long will she need to stay here.
Present
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: "Happy Rock" (Gladstone) Oregon
Posts: 1,360
Listening to you, I recognize how you're talking to yourself from how I've talked to myself in the past.
When I feel the onset of it coming on, I remind myself Easy Does It and take deep breaths and relax my muscles. Sometimes, reading the Al-Anon ODAT's (One Day at a Time) helps. Sometimes, watching a comedy helps...
I recently got a referral from someone here at SR to a site that has white/pink/brown noise you can download for a PayPal donation, or just stay tuned to the website and listen there for free. (I donated a dollar to download the brown noise.) It actually really helps me feel soothed.
SimplyNoise - The Best Free White Noise Generator on the Internet.
When I feel the onset of it coming on, I remind myself Easy Does It and take deep breaths and relax my muscles. Sometimes, reading the Al-Anon ODAT's (One Day at a Time) helps. Sometimes, watching a comedy helps...
I recently got a referral from someone here at SR to a site that has white/pink/brown noise you can download for a PayPal donation, or just stay tuned to the website and listen there for free. (I donated a dollar to download the brown noise.) It actually really helps me feel soothed.
SimplyNoise - The Best Free White Noise Generator on the Internet.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: The Jungle
Posts: 5,435
You have a whole lot on your plate and it's in bigger chunks than anyone can chew. Trying to orchestrate the lives around you is exhausting and it's taking a toll on your health.
Early on in my recovery, I loved a slightly altered slogan........let go or be dragged. Once I got that concept down, I could start thinking about letting go and letting God.
Admitting that my life had become unmanageable was a huge step for me.
You are in my prayers today.
gentle hugs
ke
Early on in my recovery, I loved a slightly altered slogan........let go or be dragged. Once I got that concept down, I could start thinking about letting go and letting God.
Admitting that my life had become unmanageable was a huge step for me.
You are in my prayers today.
gentle hugs
ke
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 1,288
This morning my other daughter tells me she spoke to her sister and is asking me to take care of Lexy for the rest of the week that she's having problems with her boyfriend.
Well, no kidding, who'd want to live with someone like that.
Now, all of us in the house have to change our working schedule and life because she won't get help and take responsibility. I just know it she's blaming it all on her boyfriend and me. And I'm sure he don't want to jepardise his job and future with a psycho.
I'm still going to talk to the principle in the school, and somehow get Lexy to live with me permanently. One thing at a time.
In 4 yrs my husband is going to retire with a full pension. It will be easier to have Lexy with us then. But if it can't wait that long, it will have to be now.
Do any of you know if I can call a psychiatric hospital and tell them what's going on and have her admitted for long term help? She's 25.
Maybe they also have an after care place for her to stay in. I don't want her to come live at home.
Well, no kidding, who'd want to live with someone like that.
Now, all of us in the house have to change our working schedule and life because she won't get help and take responsibility. I just know it she's blaming it all on her boyfriend and me. And I'm sure he don't want to jepardise his job and future with a psycho.
I'm still going to talk to the principle in the school, and somehow get Lexy to live with me permanently. One thing at a time.
In 4 yrs my husband is going to retire with a full pension. It will be easier to have Lexy with us then. But if it can't wait that long, it will have to be now.
Do any of you know if I can call a psychiatric hospital and tell them what's going on and have her admitted for long term help? She's 25.
Maybe they also have an after care place for her to stay in. I don't want her to come live at home.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 13,497
Kiki,
first a hug. I truly feel for you sweetie, and I can understand all this thinking of what if's.
it is tormenting. but no matter what you do to prevent some of these things, it is keeping your daughter from dealing with consequences of her behavior, which i would imagine is what it takes for someone with her problems to finally reach out for help.
I believe you should report her pushing you down, so you have it on record. that is helpful when you may have to file a restraining order on her.
I was told that if someone threatens to harm you or herself, you can call mental illness hotline, and they will come and evaluate the situation, and then possibly take them in and hold them for evaluation.
keep records of everything. file reports with police. your daughter is going to do more crazy stuff you know that. but the people most important here are your Lexi, and you.
I would do what I need to do to keep Lexi with you, she deserves safety. and what she is seeing everyday is what she might live when she grows up. how will she know what normal is, or real love?
you dont have to let your daughter back in. she can go to mental health services if she needs help. she sounds smart enough to know she needs help, no matter what she says. she is probably miserable. let her feel her pain, is my thoughts on it. this is a desperate situation, and you cannot fix it. you cannot, with anything you do for her.
the best and most loving thing you can do for your daughter is to take care of her child, who is being emotionally abandoned by her momma. she is in danger.
i know it is hard to change everything to do that, but Lexi is worth it, I am sure you know that.
let go of fixing your daughter, and take care of you, your health, and take that sweet little girl into your life, and keep out anything that threatens her mental, physical, and emotional health. she surely needs some counselling.
I will be praying for you all.
detach yourself from your daughters stuff, if you can. focus your efforts on what you can do. I am glad that little Lexi has you.
hugs
chicory
first a hug. I truly feel for you sweetie, and I can understand all this thinking of what if's.
it is tormenting. but no matter what you do to prevent some of these things, it is keeping your daughter from dealing with consequences of her behavior, which i would imagine is what it takes for someone with her problems to finally reach out for help.
I believe you should report her pushing you down, so you have it on record. that is helpful when you may have to file a restraining order on her.
I was told that if someone threatens to harm you or herself, you can call mental illness hotline, and they will come and evaluate the situation, and then possibly take them in and hold them for evaluation.
keep records of everything. file reports with police. your daughter is going to do more crazy stuff you know that. but the people most important here are your Lexi, and you.
I would do what I need to do to keep Lexi with you, she deserves safety. and what she is seeing everyday is what she might live when she grows up. how will she know what normal is, or real love?
you dont have to let your daughter back in. she can go to mental health services if she needs help. she sounds smart enough to know she needs help, no matter what she says. she is probably miserable. let her feel her pain, is my thoughts on it. this is a desperate situation, and you cannot fix it. you cannot, with anything you do for her.
the best and most loving thing you can do for your daughter is to take care of her child, who is being emotionally abandoned by her momma. she is in danger.
i know it is hard to change everything to do that, but Lexi is worth it, I am sure you know that.
let go of fixing your daughter, and take care of you, your health, and take that sweet little girl into your life, and keep out anything that threatens her mental, physical, and emotional health. she surely needs some counselling.
I will be praying for you all.
detach yourself from your daughters stuff, if you can. focus your efforts on what you can do. I am glad that little Lexi has you.
hugs
chicory
Member
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Land of Cotton
Posts: 3,433
Originally Posted by SadHeart
On Monday, if not today, you go to the school and make an appointment with the school counselor and principal. You show the note and you fill them in on all the ugly details. You tell about the violence in the home, the drugs, the mental illness, the child hiding under the covers. You give them copies of the note.
They are mandated reporters, they will report it to CPS.
Then you leave Lexy at school (and they will probably have a nurse evaluate her and talk to her), and you go to CPS and you talk to a CPS person and tell everything.
Stop trying to get your daughter committed. The solution doesn't lie there. Her problems are so deep she'll have to be committed several times and cycle in and out through the system and try this drug and that and this treatment and that and this program and that. And none of it will stick because she doesn't even want it. Lexy doesn't have time for her mother to get better and learn to grow up and parent responsibly.
Don't go to the school and protect your daughter or her BF or try to figure out how to save everyone or keep everyone employed or keep their apartment for them. Just focus on Lexy. And also stop worrying about the injustice of your daughter blaming you for her problems. Blah, blah, blah, what else is new?
Focus on Lexy and having her monitored by the school and by the state. Make it clear to CPS that you are available. When you go to CPS ask for services not for your daughter but for YOURSELF, ask for what's available to you so you can be a support to your granddaughter. Let them know that you realize you have a massively dysfunctional family and you want to do YOUR part in fixing you, so if the time comes and Lexy has to be placed out of her home temporarily or permanently, you will be already approved by the state to take her in.
You might not be able to afford a lawyer, but the state can appoint one for Lexy (a guardian ad litem), and that's pretty much the same thing. Ask for a GAL for Lexy. Ask for services for Lexy. Ask for monitoring. Ask for evals. Ask for family counseling, family services, family support.
If you talk to the school the school will be on alert to watch for signs of neglect and stress and violence. They'll notice if she's clean, fed, absent, and picked up on time. Frankly schools can't do a lot, but they can witness for CPS and they are considered an unbiased witness.
You worry about your daughter losing her job and apartment. So what if she does? It just puts more pressure on her to leave Lexy with you while she finds another job, another place to live. It just makes it clearer to CPS and ultimately a judge that she's unstable and unfit for mothering in her present condition. As long as you enable your daughter and her boyfriend you enable them to mistreat Lexy.
By not protecting them from the consequences of the ugly truth of their lives, you are protecting their ability to neglect and mistreat Lexy. The way to protect Lexy is not to protect them.
They are mandated reporters, they will report it to CPS.
Then you leave Lexy at school (and they will probably have a nurse evaluate her and talk to her), and you go to CPS and you talk to a CPS person and tell everything.
Stop trying to get your daughter committed. The solution doesn't lie there. Her problems are so deep she'll have to be committed several times and cycle in and out through the system and try this drug and that and this treatment and that and this program and that. And none of it will stick because she doesn't even want it. Lexy doesn't have time for her mother to get better and learn to grow up and parent responsibly.
Don't go to the school and protect your daughter or her BF or try to figure out how to save everyone or keep everyone employed or keep their apartment for them. Just focus on Lexy. And also stop worrying about the injustice of your daughter blaming you for her problems. Blah, blah, blah, what else is new?
Focus on Lexy and having her monitored by the school and by the state. Make it clear to CPS that you are available. When you go to CPS ask for services not for your daughter but for YOURSELF, ask for what's available to you so you can be a support to your granddaughter. Let them know that you realize you have a massively dysfunctional family and you want to do YOUR part in fixing you, so if the time comes and Lexy has to be placed out of her home temporarily or permanently, you will be already approved by the state to take her in.
You might not be able to afford a lawyer, but the state can appoint one for Lexy (a guardian ad litem), and that's pretty much the same thing. Ask for a GAL for Lexy. Ask for services for Lexy. Ask for monitoring. Ask for evals. Ask for family counseling, family services, family support.
If you talk to the school the school will be on alert to watch for signs of neglect and stress and violence. They'll notice if she's clean, fed, absent, and picked up on time. Frankly schools can't do a lot, but they can witness for CPS and they are considered an unbiased witness.
You worry about your daughter losing her job and apartment. So what if she does? It just puts more pressure on her to leave Lexy with you while she finds another job, another place to live. It just makes it clearer to CPS and ultimately a judge that she's unstable and unfit for mothering in her present condition. As long as you enable your daughter and her boyfriend you enable them to mistreat Lexy.
By not protecting them from the consequences of the ugly truth of their lives, you are protecting their ability to neglect and mistreat Lexy. The way to protect Lexy is not to protect them.
You have a limited amount of emotional and financial resources. Focus them on your protecting your granddaughter and allow your ADULT daughter do what she will do.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 1,288
I called the "suicide" hot line this morning. They gave me some choices of what I can do, and I will follow up on it.
We're already planning to turn one of the rooms to be Lexy's. It's just a matter of getting her school to deal with. ie transfer, etc...
I think what I will do is the second choice they gave me. To call the hot line and have someone come to her and evaluate her, which will stay on record and she can go willingly to the hospital. Third, if that doesn't work out, go to magistrate judge and have it court ordered to have her admitted which she will then have no more choices of her own.
We're already planning to turn one of the rooms to be Lexy's. It's just a matter of getting her school to deal with. ie transfer, etc...
I think what I will do is the second choice they gave me. To call the hot line and have someone come to her and evaluate her, which will stay on record and she can go willingly to the hospital. Third, if that doesn't work out, go to magistrate judge and have it court ordered to have her admitted which she will then have no more choices of her own.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2011
Posts: 227
I'm sorry you're going through this. It sounds awful.
I know you want to get help for your daughter but as others have said, Lexy needs to come first. I'd highly recommend filing a report with the police re your daughter pushing you, driving under the influence with her daughter in the car, etc. you'll need some documentation in order to get custody.
Definitely speak to the principal at her school, school nurse, guidance/adjustment counselor --first thing tomorrow! Call CPS and, if at all possible, I'd be at the courthouse filing for temporary custody. You do not need to hire a lawyer, all courts have advocates available, a guardian can be appointed to Lexi, etc. There are resources available!
If you're not able to care for Lexi you need to investigate other options with CPS and/or other family members. It would be a tragedy for her to be with her mother for the next 4 years. Mom is in for a long road when/if she decides to get help and it doesn't sound like she's even close to doing so.
You and Lexy will be in my prayers. I know this is hard work and will take a lot of adjustments to everyone's schedule but Lexy is worth it!
((hugs))
I know you want to get help for your daughter but as others have said, Lexy needs to come first. I'd highly recommend filing a report with the police re your daughter pushing you, driving under the influence with her daughter in the car, etc. you'll need some documentation in order to get custody.
Definitely speak to the principal at her school, school nurse, guidance/adjustment counselor --first thing tomorrow! Call CPS and, if at all possible, I'd be at the courthouse filing for temporary custody. You do not need to hire a lawyer, all courts have advocates available, a guardian can be appointed to Lexi, etc. There are resources available!
If you're not able to care for Lexi you need to investigate other options with CPS and/or other family members. It would be a tragedy for her to be with her mother for the next 4 years. Mom is in for a long road when/if she decides to get help and it doesn't sound like she's even close to doing so.
You and Lexy will be in my prayers. I know this is hard work and will take a lot of adjustments to everyone's schedule but Lexy is worth it!
((hugs))
Member
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 1,384
I also suggest filing a police report and calling 911 when this behavior happens in the future. You need the documentation. If you managed to get her court committed, she would probably be there only a short time. It is no longer possible to commit someone for a long time. I have been through all of this with my bipola/addicted mom. There is no treatment that will be a magic cure to fix everything. You can't make her make better choices.
You can help your 5 year old granddaughter. Everyone gave you excellent advice. Get CPS involved and also focus on getting things better for you. Are you working with a psychiatrist? I understand the trauma you've been through and the feelings that causes, so you need professionals to help you through this.
You can help your 5 year old granddaughter. Everyone gave you excellent advice. Get CPS involved and also focus on getting things better for you. Are you working with a psychiatrist? I understand the trauma you've been through and the feelings that causes, so you need professionals to help you through this.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 1,288
I just got done filing a report with the police and pressed charges against her.
Next step calling child protective services.
The police man suggested next step to go to magistrate and file with them. They will set a date for both of us to appear and decide if she needs to be committed. She'll probably lie through her ass, but hopefully we can convince them to take action.
I'm doing that tomorrow.
I am working with a psychiatrist and called her also to ask to see her as soon as possible.
Next step calling child protective services.
The police man suggested next step to go to magistrate and file with them. They will set a date for both of us to appear and decide if she needs to be committed. She'll probably lie through her ass, but hopefully we can convince them to take action.
I'm doing that tomorrow.
I am working with a psychiatrist and called her also to ask to see her as soon as possible.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Chicago area
Posts: 4,269
Originally Posted by kiki5711
I will do that too Meredith.
I will need to speak to her boss and ask if she can give her "leave of absance" for "whatever time" is needed.
Not your problem or your business. Makling contact with your daughter's employer is really way, way out there..
I don't want her to loose her job and apartment because after she'll have nowhere to go and ask to come back home.
"No" is a complete sentance.
I DO NOT want her to come back here. She made everyone so stressed out in the house, nobody wanted to live here any more.
And especially if she looses her job, how long will she need to stay here.
You are not her only option. In fact, you might be her worst option. Given she has managed to remain employed implies she is able to control herself, when she wants to do so. Unfortunately for all concerned, that control does not happen in her private life.
It drove me to drink and even while on chemo I was still drinking because of the stress of her and dealing with cancer.
I've already been through so much, two cancers, had a mastectomy, 5 months later I discovered I had colon cancer, had to wear a colostomy bag while going through 9 months of chemo. I am not physically or emotionally fit to deal with her at home.
I will take care of Lexy, but I can't deal with her, she will put me in the grave.
I will need to speak to her boss and ask if she can give her "leave of absance" for "whatever time" is needed.
Not your problem or your business. Makling contact with your daughter's employer is really way, way out there..
I don't want her to loose her job and apartment because after she'll have nowhere to go and ask to come back home.
"No" is a complete sentance.
I DO NOT want her to come back here. She made everyone so stressed out in the house, nobody wanted to live here any more.
And especially if she looses her job, how long will she need to stay here.
You are not her only option. In fact, you might be her worst option. Given she has managed to remain employed implies she is able to control herself, when she wants to do so. Unfortunately for all concerned, that control does not happen in her private life.
It drove me to drink and even while on chemo I was still drinking because of the stress of her and dealing with cancer.
I've already been through so much, two cancers, had a mastectomy, 5 months later I discovered I had colon cancer, had to wear a colostomy bag while going through 9 months of chemo. I am not physically or emotionally fit to deal with her at home.
I will take care of Lexy, but I can't deal with her, she will put me in the grave.
I am sorry that you did not call 911 when your daughter hurt you and barged into your home. We parents often have a tendency to play God and put ourselves in harm's way to protect our adult children. We rationalize this cause we do not want to ruin their lives. The reality is unmedicated mental illness, alcohol and drugs are ruining their own lives. The more we try to do to protect them from the consequences, the more it spirals out of control.
Your daughter and her BF are not competent parents. Lexie would be safer in foster care right now than she is with her mother. It might also be the temporary buffer between you and your daughter. Your own health has to come first, here.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 1,288
I don't want Lexy to go to foster care. It would confuse her even more and I don't want her to be with someone else. I want her to be with me.
I have to make sure somehow that she's not given to someone else.
the police took my report and suggested to go to magistrate court, which I will.
she'll be shaken up to no end about it but I'm not letting it go this time.
I was too shook up on that night, I was so nervous, and trembling and wanting to make sure Lexy is ok I didn't think straight. After she finally left, I just went up to the bedroom and cuddled up with Lexy and she was holding me and fell asleep that way.
I have to make sure somehow that she's not given to someone else.
the police took my report and suggested to go to magistrate court, which I will.
she'll be shaken up to no end about it but I'm not letting it go this time.
I was too shook up on that night, I was so nervous, and trembling and wanting to make sure Lexy is ok I didn't think straight. After she finally left, I just went up to the bedroom and cuddled up with Lexy and she was holding me and fell asleep that way.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 1,384
Originally Posted by kiki5711
I just got done filing a report with the police and pressed charges against her.
Next step calling child protective services.
The police man suggested next step to go to magistrate and file with them. They will set a date for both of us to appear and decide if she needs to be committed. She'll probably lie through her ass, but hopefully we can convince them to take action.
I'm doing that tomorrow.
I am working with a psychiatrist and called her also to ask to see her as soon as possible.
Next step calling child protective services.
The police man suggested next step to go to magistrate and file with them. They will set a date for both of us to appear and decide if she needs to be committed. She'll probably lie through her ass, but hopefully we can convince them to take action.
I'm doing that tomorrow.
I am working with a psychiatrist and called her also to ask to see her as soon as possible.
I'm going to tell you a bit about my experience with this in case it can help you.
I have been there where my AM was attacking us, screaming errationally, trying to block my car and break my car window, etc. We filed the police reports, and had to have her removed from my grandparents' home. We also went through a magistrate. He needed all the documentation of her behavior. With the police reports, we were able to have enough documentation.
After that, the police took her to an emergency psych facility where she was held 72 hours. She then had a court date. The judge could clearly see how mentally ill she was. Also, it had been very clear to the workers at the psych emergency facility. So, my mom was involuntarily committed. I want to warn you, though. They only held her for 2 weeks. I was shocked when they let her out so soon.
Despite all of this, things are better for her and the family right now. I think she learned that she cannot treat people like that without having consequences. It did not cure her. She has had a couple of suicide attempts, and has been back to the psych hospital. Although, this time it was voluntary.
I am so thankful that you are doing this for you and your granddaughter. It will take time, but you and her will heal from this traumatic experience. It is very good that you are taking these steps now, rather than putting your head in the sand and not protecting your granddaughter. That was pretty much how my grandparents handled it until I was in my 30's.
I'm sending good thoughts your way. Take care.
Member
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Land of Cotton
Posts: 3,433
Originally Posted by kiki5711
I don't want Lexy to go to foster care. It would confuse her even more and I don't want her to be with someone else. I want her to be with me.
I have to make sure somehow that she's not given to someone else.
I have to make sure somehow that she's not given to someone else.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 13,497
Kiki,
so glad that you took this action, because it will most likely set boundaries that are needed, to keep Lexi safe.
I am so glad you are going to keep her with you. She needs the stability that you as a loving grandma offer her. I am saying prayers for things to go smoothly, and for your daughter to see that she needs help, seriously. i really feel that your actions today will help that cause.
Take care of yourself Kiki. focus on the things you can do something about. Be safe and be strong.
big hugs,
chicory
so glad that you took this action, because it will most likely set boundaries that are needed, to keep Lexi safe.
I am so glad you are going to keep her with you. She needs the stability that you as a loving grandma offer her. I am saying prayers for things to go smoothly, and for your daughter to see that she needs help, seriously. i really feel that your actions today will help that cause.
Take care of yourself Kiki. focus on the things you can do something about. Be safe and be strong.
big hugs,
chicory
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 1,288
I'm taking day off work again to get to the magistrate court. I just rememberd my daughter's boyfriend saying how the lady downstairs complains all the time of all the noise.
I'm thinking it would be a good idea to try and get a statement from her also to bring to the court, also the police man said it takes two to three days before I can pick up copy of the police report.
So what should I do? Is it better to show up with this additional evidence, or just go today?
By the way, we worked out a time last night with the boyfriend to go to the apartment and pick up Lexy's clothes and the dresser drawer that I just bought her. It cost $350.!!! In addition to other pretty things to decorate her room which has not been done over there YET! We have a room that was my stepson's room which will now be Lexy's. My stepson is in college and lives on campus and very rarely visits. He mostly goes to his mom's house, so there's no big issue there.
I'm thinking it would be a good idea to try and get a statement from her also to bring to the court, also the police man said it takes two to three days before I can pick up copy of the police report.
So what should I do? Is it better to show up with this additional evidence, or just go today?
By the way, we worked out a time last night with the boyfriend to go to the apartment and pick up Lexy's clothes and the dresser drawer that I just bought her. It cost $350.!!! In addition to other pretty things to decorate her room which has not been done over there YET! We have a room that was my stepson's room which will now be Lexy's. My stepson is in college and lives on campus and very rarely visits. He mostly goes to his mom's house, so there's no big issue there.
Drug Addiction Has No Mercy
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Milwaukie Oregon
Posts: 875
I would just like to encourage you that you are doing the right thing for your granddaughter. You are so much stronger than you think. Keep on keepin' on you are walking through the fire, but at the end there is rest.
Better days are ahead.
Hugs,
Passion
Better days are ahead.
Hugs,
Passion
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
