What Does Hallmark Know Anyway?
Nature Girl
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
What Does Hallmark Know Anyway?
You are reading from the book Touchstones
I wasn't exactly brought up in one of those Norman Rockwell paintings you used to see on the cover of the Saturday Evening Post.
—Reggie Jackson
We have many myths about other people's lives. When we compare ourselves to these stories, we come up short. We have the TV families of Father Knows Best or The Walton's in our minds. We may have stories our father told about his moment of glory and how he met his challenges. Any of these images selects part of the truth and highlights it, creating a myth that might be worthwhile if we don't take it too literally.
Living real life never feels as serene as our fantasies. A myth lifts us up, carries us away to other possibilities, but we should always take it with a grain of salt. A father's recollections or a Norman Rockwell painting romanticizes a piece of reality by omitting the drudgery and confusion of life. Myths are meant as inspirations, not as measurements of our lives.
The difficulties and confusion I feel may just be part of real life. Serenity comes when I accept the mixture that real life is.
From Touchstones: A Book of Daily Meditations for Men ©1986, 1991 by Hazelden Foundation.
I wasn't exactly brought up in one of those Norman Rockwell paintings you used to see on the cover of the Saturday Evening Post.
—Reggie Jackson
We have many myths about other people's lives. When we compare ourselves to these stories, we come up short. We have the TV families of Father Knows Best or The Walton's in our minds. We may have stories our father told about his moment of glory and how he met his challenges. Any of these images selects part of the truth and highlights it, creating a myth that might be worthwhile if we don't take it too literally.
Living real life never feels as serene as our fantasies. A myth lifts us up, carries us away to other possibilities, but we should always take it with a grain of salt. A father's recollections or a Norman Rockwell painting romanticizes a piece of reality by omitting the drudgery and confusion of life. Myths are meant as inspirations, not as measurements of our lives.
The difficulties and confusion I feel may just be part of real life. Serenity comes when I accept the mixture that real life is.
From Touchstones: A Book of Daily Meditations for Men ©1986, 1991 by Hazelden Foundation.
Nature Girl
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
I read this today and it reminded me of how many times I hid my "real" life from others, because I was ashamed of the mess it had become with my son's addiction and my codependency and the chaos that came every day.
It also reminded me of the times I looked at how I wished my life could have been...if only. Instead of facing my life head on, I lived in the illusion that maybe if I killed myself trying, I could change everything and live happily ever after.
Comparing my life to anyone's was futile. Even here at SR, my life and your life have many similarities and we share our journey each day. But how it works for me and how it works for you is quite different...as life should be.
Hallmark knows nothing of the struggles I have been through...but each one of you here do. If you think Hallmark has any idea of how we live, try choosing a birthday card for a son that is addicted, lol, it will make you giggle I think.
My point here is that our lives are precious, they are real, and they can be as beautiful or as ugly as we allow them to be. We don't need to strive to be the stuff that Hallmark cards are made of, it's okay to have problems and faults and lives that are less than perfect.
It's okay to be "us". Really it is. We have nothing to be ashamed of. We have problems and we are doing something about it, working a program that will make us stronger, happier, healthier people. Next time someone criticized your life, ask them what they are doing about theirs?
Just needed to share that this morning.
Hugs
It also reminded me of the times I looked at how I wished my life could have been...if only. Instead of facing my life head on, I lived in the illusion that maybe if I killed myself trying, I could change everything and live happily ever after.
Comparing my life to anyone's was futile. Even here at SR, my life and your life have many similarities and we share our journey each day. But how it works for me and how it works for you is quite different...as life should be.
Hallmark knows nothing of the struggles I have been through...but each one of you here do. If you think Hallmark has any idea of how we live, try choosing a birthday card for a son that is addicted, lol, it will make you giggle I think.
My point here is that our lives are precious, they are real, and they can be as beautiful or as ugly as we allow them to be. We don't need to strive to be the stuff that Hallmark cards are made of, it's okay to have problems and faults and lives that are less than perfect.
It's okay to be "us". Really it is. We have nothing to be ashamed of. We have problems and we are doing something about it, working a program that will make us stronger, happier, healthier people. Next time someone criticized your life, ask them what they are doing about theirs?
Just needed to share that this morning.
Hugs
Member
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: The Jungle
Posts: 5,435
Norman Rockwell's painting are like photographs.....they capture a moment in time. A moment when things are perfect. I have had Norman Rockwell moments in my life but they don't last. They aren't my everyday. But those moments are treasured and held like photographs in my heart. But I don't measure my today on those moments.....I simply treasure them.
Today I'm trying not to live with thoughts of "what if". That's not my reality. But I do want to live my life in gratitude. I can never be grateful that my beautiful son is a meth addict living in his car somewhere in a neighboring town but I can be grateful for the lessons that his addiction has taught me. I am grateful for the people who have come into my life as a direct result of his addiction. I am grateful for becoming more mindful of the importance and steadiness of the mundane. I appreciate every day that unfolds without chaos.
I have a pretty good life. It may not be Norman Rockwell perfect but in the overall scheme of things, I wouldn't trade it for anyone else's.
Thanks for sharing this Ann.
gentle hugs
ke
Today I'm trying not to live with thoughts of "what if". That's not my reality. But I do want to live my life in gratitude. I can never be grateful that my beautiful son is a meth addict living in his car somewhere in a neighboring town but I can be grateful for the lessons that his addiction has taught me. I am grateful for the people who have come into my life as a direct result of his addiction. I am grateful for becoming more mindful of the importance and steadiness of the mundane. I appreciate every day that unfolds without chaos.
I have a pretty good life. It may not be Norman Rockwell perfect but in the overall scheme of things, I wouldn't trade it for anyone else's.
Thanks for sharing this Ann.
gentle hugs
ke
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