Sex and pain killers??
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Join Date: Mar 2012
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Sex and pain killers??
I have a question that may seem odd to some, but I really need some inpiut.
My AH DOC is percocets. I have read where pain killers kill a persons sex drive and this seemed to be true for him...most of the time.
In many cases, addicts not only lie and steal, cheating is part of the disease as well. Their moral compass doesn't choose what areas of their life to malfunction. It's a whole package deal!
So now I am wondering, if he was unfaithful to me as well. I never thought he was because of his lack of interest in sex... with me anyway.
I need the answer - to percocet addicts cheat?? The truth may be painful to hear, but I need to know!! He uses this as his only redeeming quality to keep me from divorcing him.....legally anyway. He uses God's word when it is convenient for him! Gotta love the hypocrisy!!
My AH DOC is percocets. I have read where pain killers kill a persons sex drive and this seemed to be true for him...most of the time.
In many cases, addicts not only lie and steal, cheating is part of the disease as well. Their moral compass doesn't choose what areas of their life to malfunction. It's a whole package deal!
So now I am wondering, if he was unfaithful to me as well. I never thought he was because of his lack of interest in sex... with me anyway.
I need the answer - to percocet addicts cheat?? The truth may be painful to hear, but I need to know!! He uses this as his only redeeming quality to keep me from divorcing him.....legally anyway. He uses God's word when it is convenient for him! Gotta love the hypocrisy!!
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Join Date: Aug 2011
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It's impossible for us to guess. My XABF smokes crack- maybe he cheated, maybe he didn't. I will never know for sure.. But if the answer was that he did, it wouldn't change much. I don't even think it'd hurt really, not on top of everything else I'm already aware he has done. It'd just be another in a long list of horrible things he has done and I personally don't feel a strong desire to know the truth. I'm done with him, painful as that is to type. I still love him but I cannot be around him.
Do you think getting the answers would change anything? As far as I'm aware opiates don't really create hyper sexuality.. But that doesn't mean his lying and deceit didn't spread to other areas iykwim.
Do you think getting the answers would change anything? As far as I'm aware opiates don't really create hyper sexuality.. But that doesn't mean his lying and deceit didn't spread to other areas iykwim.
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Originally Posted by anvilhead 
percocets do not cause one to cheat. people cheat and some are addicts. we cannot possibly answer that question. most drug use over time does a number on sex drive and ability to perform, particularly for the male.
its sad that you are clinging to "well, at least he didn't cheat on me, i don't think" as the barrier to separating yourself from this man, in light of ALL that has transpired.
its sad that you are clinging to "well, at least he didn't cheat on me, i don't think" as the barrier to separating yourself from this man, in light of ALL that has transpired.
I have just started learning the tools I need. I am slowly becoming stronger and aware. I have a long road ahead of me. Please don't judge! Thank you!
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Originally Posted by LoveMeNot
I need the answer - to percocet addicts cheat?? The truth may be painful to hear, but I need to know!!
I think you know that the answer to this isn't going to do you any good. Yes, of course they do, just like alcoholics cheat, and choir boys cheat, and accountants cheat, and bricklayers cheat...
...but you want to know whether your husband cheated. No one here knows. What we do know is what it's like to be an addict, or the family of an addict, or sometimes both.
I don't think anyone here's going to judge you. We're all about support and community. People mostly want to help. So stick around, post, chat. Tell us what's going on with you.
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Originally Posted by stillsleeping
Hi again...
I think you know that the answer to this isn't going to do you any good. Yes, of course they do, just like alcoholics cheat, and choir boys cheat, and accountants cheat, and bricklayers cheat...
...but you want to know whether your husband cheated. No one here knows. What we do know is what it's like to be an addict, or the family of an addict, or sometimes both.
I don't think anyone here's going to judge you. We're all about support and community. People mostly want to help. So stick around, post, chat. Tell us what's going on with you.
I think you know that the answer to this isn't going to do you any good. Yes, of course they do, just like alcoholics cheat, and choir boys cheat, and accountants cheat, and bricklayers cheat...
...but you want to know whether your husband cheated. No one here knows. What we do know is what it's like to be an addict, or the family of an addict, or sometimes both.
I don't think anyone here's going to judge you. We're all about support and community. People mostly want to help. So stick around, post, chat. Tell us what's going on with you.
My question was posted for a variety of reasons. I am just learning "my addict" is not special. Nothing he can or has done will suprise me or so I thought until yesterday. When I made him leave, I knew what may or may not happen with other women. I pray she is smarter than me.
I have already made my mind up to seek a divorce....I just want it "right" with my faith as well. Then I also started thinking about how I need to get a physical/exam...this question was for many reasons. Its not about "well, if he didn't cheat on me".....He has done far worse....and hurting my kids is at the top of the list..where it should have been all along!!
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Join Date: Jan 2012
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I think I understand your question, as I had to deal with the issue of drugs and cheating in my relationship. My BF drug was cocaine. And for this there does seem to be a higher correlation between using and sexual promiscuity.
I base this on research I did; part of it coming from my own personal physician, and his dr also.
I had never known my BF on drugs; but then he had a one night relapse where he went on a binge and also had a one night stand with the woman who hooked him up with the drugs.
As horrible as that sounds; this pattern of behavior - mixing coke and sex was established for him when he was actively using and single. It was something I knew about prior to our involvement; so to be honest it didnt come as a complete shock to me when I found out it was part of his relapse.
For me though - and I got judged on my choice - I made the decision to contiue my relationship with him. I did so because I know him. I know his values and his beliefs. I know he is faithful and true & I have no doubt that he will remain that way as long as he is off the cocaine....and if he should go back to it; then all his therapy better be working to break that specific association. oy.
I guess I said all that to say this..... yes, I think certain drugs do have this kind of impact; they play with the mind, and the reward system and they make unacceptable behavior seem acceptable and without consequence.
Ive no knowledge of percocet itself; but I think its in a different class of drugs
Just wanted to say, that reading your posts its clear you dont take the issue of divorce lightly; very sorry you have to make such a choice as I know it is painful. Unfortunatly, it is just something that has to happen sometimes.
Wishing you the best.
I base this on research I did; part of it coming from my own personal physician, and his dr also.
I had never known my BF on drugs; but then he had a one night relapse where he went on a binge and also had a one night stand with the woman who hooked him up with the drugs.
As horrible as that sounds; this pattern of behavior - mixing coke and sex was established for him when he was actively using and single. It was something I knew about prior to our involvement; so to be honest it didnt come as a complete shock to me when I found out it was part of his relapse.
For me though - and I got judged on my choice - I made the decision to contiue my relationship with him. I did so because I know him. I know his values and his beliefs. I know he is faithful and true & I have no doubt that he will remain that way as long as he is off the cocaine....and if he should go back to it; then all his therapy better be working to break that specific association. oy.
I guess I said all that to say this..... yes, I think certain drugs do have this kind of impact; they play with the mind, and the reward system and they make unacceptable behavior seem acceptable and without consequence.
Ive no knowledge of percocet itself; but I think its in a different class of drugs
Just wanted to say, that reading your posts its clear you dont take the issue of divorce lightly; very sorry you have to make such a choice as I know it is painful. Unfortunatly, it is just something that has to happen sometimes.
Wishing you the best.
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Thank you Kelly! Letting go can be complex, never mind a divorce.
In some ways, I hope he was unfaithful - it will give me my out on a "spiritual" level. My pastor once told me that addiction was not a valid reason for divorce in God's eyes. I also became very confused when it came to forgiveness and acceptance which was just one more reason I allowed this hell to go on longer then it should have.
I love my Pastor, he is great man but I am think at times his advice was confusing and misleading....or maybe (most likely) I was one the one confused.
In the end I came to the conclusion...God may hate divorce, but HE will still love me! And that's all that really matters.
In all honestly, I had several reasons why I asked this question! Nothing is ever black and white........for a co-dependent, at least not this one!
In some ways, I hope he was unfaithful - it will give me my out on a "spiritual" level. My pastor once told me that addiction was not a valid reason for divorce in God's eyes. I also became very confused when it came to forgiveness and acceptance which was just one more reason I allowed this hell to go on longer then it should have.
I love my Pastor, he is great man but I am think at times his advice was confusing and misleading....or maybe (most likely) I was one the one confused.
In the end I came to the conclusion...God may hate divorce, but HE will still love me! And that's all that really matters.
In all honestly, I had several reasons why I asked this question! Nothing is ever black and white........for a co-dependent, at least not this one!
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Originally Posted by LoveMeNot
Then I also started thinking about how I need to get a physical/exam...this question was for many reasons.
Had I gone back to my EXAH after I completed rehab for my own addictions/alcoholism, I would have ended up getting HIV.
He contracted HIV from another woman he was shooting dope/sharing needles while I was in rehab.
Addiction can kill, and you don't have to be the addict.
That man died a few years ago, complications due to AIDS. Although we had been divorced a long time, it affected me deeply.
I am grateful every day that I did not go back to him.
Sending you hugs of support.
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Originally Posted by Freedom1990
Had I gone back to my EXAH after I completed rehab for my own addictions/alcoholism, I would have ended up getting HIV.
He contracted HIV from another woman he was shooting dope/sharing needles while I was in rehab.
Addiction can kill, and you don't have to be the addict.
That man died a few years ago, complications due to AIDS. Although we had been divorced a long time, it affected me deeply.
I am grateful every day that I did not go back to him.
Sending you hugs of support.
He contracted HIV from another woman he was shooting dope/sharing needles while I was in rehab.
Addiction can kill, and you don't have to be the addict.
That man died a few years ago, complications due to AIDS. Although we had been divorced a long time, it affected me deeply.
I am grateful every day that I did not go back to him.
Sending you hugs of support.
Because my AH had a very diminished sex drive, I never even worried about other women. But after reading other threads, I really started to think....oh wow, I am being naive?? Lets face it, I was in denial about everything else.
This forum is teaching me so much but it's a lot to take in too. In some cases, I still can't wrap my mind around the mind of an addict. I don't think it's possible anyway and best not to try. The further away I can get, the better off I know I will be.
I think I will get a thorough exam just to put that worry to rest. And as for the issues, I believe God will reveal to me what I need or not need to know.
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LoveMeNot.....
My husband is addicted to Hydrocodone and I can say that it definitely killed his sex drive. Or was it the Ambien? Or was it the anti-depressants? Who knows.
However, what I would say as a point-counter point to that....they take pain killers to kill THE pain. Not the pain of a hard day's work....the pain of whatever is inside them that makes them "not right" with themselves. Therefore....looking for something to make them feel better about themselves. So, I would not be surprised to find out at some point that my husband has cheated...is cheating....or might cheat in the near future........
From a spiritual angle.....husbands are to put their spouse and family FIRST. I personally believe that "forsaking all others" has a very wide range of definition....not just relating to sex/cheating.
My husband is addicted to Hydrocodone and I can say that it definitely killed his sex drive. Or was it the Ambien? Or was it the anti-depressants? Who knows.
However, what I would say as a point-counter point to that....they take pain killers to kill THE pain. Not the pain of a hard day's work....the pain of whatever is inside them that makes them "not right" with themselves. Therefore....looking for something to make them feel better about themselves. So, I would not be surprised to find out at some point that my husband has cheated...is cheating....or might cheat in the near future........
From a spiritual angle.....husbands are to put their spouse and family FIRST. I personally believe that "forsaking all others" has a very wide range of definition....not just relating to sex/cheating.
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Originally Posted by YearForMe
LoveMeNot.....
My husband is addicted to Hydrocodone and I can say that it definitely killed his sex drive. Or was it the Ambien? Or was it the anti-depressants? Who knows.
However, what I would say as a point-counter point to that....they take pain killers to kill THE pain. Not the pain of a hard day's work....the pain of whatever is inside them that makes them "not right" with themselves. Therefore....looking for something to make them feel better about themselves. So, I would not be surprised to find out at some point that my husband has cheated...is cheating....or might cheat in the near future........
From a spiritual angle.....husbands are to put their spouse and family FIRST. I personally believe that "forsaking all others" has a very wide range of definition....not just relating to sex/cheating.
My husband is addicted to Hydrocodone and I can say that it definitely killed his sex drive. Or was it the Ambien? Or was it the anti-depressants? Who knows.
However, what I would say as a point-counter point to that....they take pain killers to kill THE pain. Not the pain of a hard day's work....the pain of whatever is inside them that makes them "not right" with themselves. Therefore....looking for something to make them feel better about themselves. So, I would not be surprised to find out at some point that my husband has cheated...is cheating....or might cheat in the near future........
From a spiritual angle.....husbands are to put their spouse and family FIRST. I personally believe that "forsaking all others" has a very wide range of definition....not just relating to sex/cheating.
Oh well! Maybe know he will stop trying make feel guilty for kicking him out, "turning the kids against him" and just leave me alone once and for all.
Although, I have a no contact rule...I too have "relapsed" on a few occasions. But I am starting to become aware of how destructive this is for me. Before, I use to thrive on it! Sad but true!
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Originally Posted by YearForMe
LoveMeNot.....
My husband is addicted to Hydrocodone and I can say that it definitely killed his sex drive. Or was it the Ambien? Or was it the anti-depressants? Who knows.
However, what I would say as a point-counter point to that....they take pain killers to kill THE pain. Not the pain of a hard day's work....the pain of whatever is inside them that makes them "not right" with themselves. Therefore....looking for something to make them feel better about themselves. So, I would not be surprised to find out at some point that my husband has cheated...is cheating....or might cheat in the near future........
From a spiritual angle.....husbands are to put their spouse and family FIRST. I personally believe that "forsaking all others" has a very wide range of definition....not just relating to sex/cheating.
My husband is addicted to Hydrocodone and I can say that it definitely killed his sex drive. Or was it the Ambien? Or was it the anti-depressants? Who knows.
However, what I would say as a point-counter point to that....they take pain killers to kill THE pain. Not the pain of a hard day's work....the pain of whatever is inside them that makes them "not right" with themselves. Therefore....looking for something to make them feel better about themselves. So, I would not be surprised to find out at some point that my husband has cheated...is cheating....or might cheat in the near future........
From a spiritual angle.....husbands are to put their spouse and family FIRST. I personally believe that "forsaking all others" has a very wide range of definition....not just relating to sex/cheating.
I'm so glad you've had such nice posts on this thread. I was going to say exactly this but Year got there first. Fidelity means more than just sex. My understanding is that God wants you to be brave, strong and happy.
And definitely get the physical just to put your mind at rest. Then you can draw a line under it...
Xxxx
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I also think it would be wise to get a check-up for yourself. *It will at put your mind at ease.
Freedom' shared a good message & reminder to all.
When I first met my boyfriend; when we were just in the "friend" stage; he went to the Dr. for long overdue physical. *He had so many blood tests - things I'd never even heard of, along with all the really scary ones including HiV and Hep; but fortunately they all came back negative.*
Oh but it didnt stop there; he had test repeated several times that year; and went beyond the normal antibody/blood test to have PCR / DNA type testing done also just to ease his mind and make certain. *Everything always came back fine.*
So thought we were done with all that; but then with his relapse & one night stand; he's had to start it again. *(the idiot) *- everything came back fine initially and after 3 months also... but I'm sure he will continue to play pincushion for the rest of the year.
I'm not implying you need to go to those extremes; his Dr even said it wasn't necessary. *
Just have an honest conversation with your Docdine he will know what you need.*
Freedom' shared a good message & reminder to all.
When I first met my boyfriend; when we were just in the "friend" stage; he went to the Dr. for long overdue physical. *He had so many blood tests - things I'd never even heard of, along with all the really scary ones including HiV and Hep; but fortunately they all came back negative.*
Oh but it didnt stop there; he had test repeated several times that year; and went beyond the normal antibody/blood test to have PCR / DNA type testing done also just to ease his mind and make certain. *Everything always came back fine.*
So thought we were done with all that; but then with his relapse & one night stand; he's had to start it again. *(the idiot) *- everything came back fine initially and after 3 months also... but I'm sure he will continue to play pincushion for the rest of the year.
I'm not implying you need to go to those extremes; his Dr even said it wasn't necessary. *
Just have an honest conversation with your Docdine he will know what you need.*
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All I ever hear is how I won't have sex with him, and he does alcohol, any pill he can get his hands on, etc. etc.
Actually, I discussed with him taking Celexa, which kills the urge to drink, and he won't take it because it also kills his sex drive.
Well sorry, but I can't stand being anywhere near him PERIOD, let alone do the NASTY with him. Shame drugs can't make him lose his sex drive. But then, he would WANT to quit, so.
Actually, I discussed with him taking Celexa, which kills the urge to drink, and he won't take it because it also kills his sex drive.
Well sorry, but I can't stand being anywhere near him PERIOD, let alone do the NASTY with him. Shame drugs can't make him lose his sex drive. But then, he would WANT to quit, so.
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