Not really sure where to begin & completely confused
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Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 13
Not really sure where to begin & completely confused
My boyfriend has been clean 2 yrs & we've been together 1 & 1/2. His maturity level & self esteem seems to have dropped dramatically the last 6 months. He seems overly clingy & touchy needs to be reassured of our relationship in every way. At times his anger is explosive & sexually forceful. I feel like he's traded his drug addiction for an another addiction "me". He seems to have temper tantrums when we disagree & I constantly feel he tries to put guilt trips on me. I just don't get the regression. I know he isn;t using I also know that he finds a reason not to make meetings or do stepwork more often. Need some serious advise. I try to talk to him he just says I that I don't understand him & shuts down.
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Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Minneapolis
Posts: 924
how in the world do you know he's not using?
it sure sounds like the hidden using behavior I witnessed.
if not then I guess it's the "dry drunk/addict" attack
are you making it to your meetings/doing your step work?
it sure sounds like the hidden using behavior I witnessed.
if not then I guess it's the "dry drunk/addict" attack
are you making it to your meetings/doing your step work?
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Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 445
Originally Posted by JustBroken 
He's on probation which maybe ending in another 2 months & is tested weekly. Which will scare me to death.
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Join Date: Nov 2007
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Originally Posted by JustBroken
At times his anger is explosive & sexually forceful. :
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Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 13
His drug of choice is crack. I've dealt with alcoholics my whole life. They are active users in my family. I chose not to use early on in life. I attended alanon in my late teens because of this. I know his behaviors are his & only his. No matter what he says. I just don't understand the drastic change in him or the behavior.
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Join Date: Nov 2007
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Originally Posted by JustBroken
My question is does this behavior happen often ?
I've seen men who showed this type of behavior, and it wasn't due to drugs. It was because they had serious anger issues and wanted to "beat up" on someone smaller than them.
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Join Date: Jan 2009
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He is using, and I don't assume that usually, but I am going to make an exception with the drastic change in behavior, if he wasn't he would be getting progressively better even if slowly, not worse...
This is classic behavior for someone in active addiction, picking a fight, looking for an excuse, trying to control those around them, make them the blame, the problem...
Now the question becomes what can you do for you, because this will get worse for you and I know you are worth more, so much more. Do you know that you are?
This is classic behavior for someone in active addiction, picking a fight, looking for an excuse, trying to control those around them, make them the blame, the problem...
Now the question becomes what can you do for you, because this will get worse for you and I know you are worth more, so much more. Do you know that you are?
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Join Date: Apr 2012
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He was hit on by his 1st male sponsor, lost his second sponsor that sponsor refused start step work at the beginning chose to jump steps& now has a third that has patiently been working with him on steps. My bf doesn't commit to his step work something is always more important or he's to tired or wants me to remind him. I tell him its his sobriety & I can't be his mom.
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