Keeping my fingers crossed!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Joppa, Maryland
Posts: 61
Keeping my fingers crossed!
My AS has been doing everything he is supposed to be doing, and not doing what he shouldn't. I have talked to him a couple of times about moving out, and today, his girlfriend stopped by and as we were talking, she told me he is thinking of going to a SLE. I am beyond hopeful. She said he brought it up himself, told her I asked him about moving out, and he said he thinks it might be good for him! I couldn't believe it. He is working, paying his bills, taking care of his dog, being totally respectful, and not drinking/drugging, and has gone to some meetings.
I am keeping my fingers crossed about the SLE.
I am keeping my fingers crossed about the SLE.
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Join Date: May 2010
Posts: 720
This is great news for your AS!! I hope nothing but the best for him....I know how great these hopeful moments feel (I am so in that spot myself) and am very happy for you!
That said....just to bring this in a bit more in focus....what are you doing next to support yourself. You may have a breather here for a bit in the worry department but it is important to remember that you need support for you in managing things going forward.
So....I guess I am asking what positive....self affirming thing do you have planned for you? May seem selfish but while our kids are in a safe secure space it is a great time to work on ourselves.
Thank you for sharing your good news.....now good news for you too to follow!
That said....just to bring this in a bit more in focus....what are you doing next to support yourself. You may have a breather here for a bit in the worry department but it is important to remember that you need support for you in managing things going forward.
So....I guess I am asking what positive....self affirming thing do you have planned for you? May seem selfish but while our kids are in a safe secure space it is a great time to work on ourselves.
Thank you for sharing your good news.....now good news for you too to follow!
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Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 111
How do you know? This is where tone of voice is so missing from these conversations. I ask that, not with a terse 'how do you know' , but a desperate, please help me read the signs tone.... you say he is going to meetings, my son also, but how do I know he is being honest with me after so much lying; he says he is not using, but truly I never could tell when he was...
the counselor told us to watch for changes in behavior, but if AS is so good at lying, how do I recognize the changes in behavior.
Signed, lost parent and still very new to this, so please be patient.
the counselor told us to watch for changes in behavior, but if AS is so good at lying, how do I recognize the changes in behavior.
Signed, lost parent and still very new to this, so please be patient.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Joppa, Maryland
Posts: 61
Bookreader, you didn't rain on my parade! I know, I am very suspicious of everything! Everything! Well, for me the first clue is he actually has money left from his paycheck, which he never had before. That's how he lost his apartment. He works at the same company his dad does, so I know he actually is working there. (He's been there for almost 4 years). He just seems different, too, I guess. Time will tell. I'm hopeful, but cautious.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 598
It is wonderful to hear good news--gives all of us hope that things can improve for our addicted loved ones. The most important thing is to continue working on yourself so that no matter what happens in the future, you are prepared. It's difficult to not let what others do dictate how we feel and what we do. During this respite, keep up the work you have been doing on yourself.
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Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 445
Wishing you and your son well. 
My opinion is that we can either choose to live in fear, or we can choose to live in faith and hope.
Neither affects the addict; as they make their own choices.
Unbridled hope may be foolish, but hope tempered with reality is a beautiful thing.
It sets us free because regardless of the circumstances, we cannot predict the future for ourselves, much less that of an addict in recovery.
To me living in fear, and trying to stifle my emotions; in an attempt to save myself future pain is not a worthwhile endeavor. Too much gets lost in the day...
I wish you many hopeful days; with fingers crossed.
My opinion is that we can either choose to live in fear, or we can choose to live in faith and hope.
Neither affects the addict; as they make their own choices.
Unbridled hope may be foolish, but hope tempered with reality is a beautiful thing.
It sets us free because regardless of the circumstances, we cannot predict the future for ourselves, much less that of an addict in recovery.
To me living in fear, and trying to stifle my emotions; in an attempt to save myself future pain is not a worthwhile endeavor. Too much gets lost in the day...
I wish you many hopeful days; with fingers crossed.
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