Sometimes
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: dow, illinois
Posts: 71
Sometimes
Sometimes i feel, i could put up with his (AH METH) addiction than have to go thru this. Being alone and so lonley. I know in my head this will pass in time, but i really wish it would hurry up. After being with my husband (JOE) for 25 years, i feel lost without him. I havent called or texted him, told him not to come home or call me or text me again. And now im wishing he would. Feels like im going crazy and fighting with myself between wanting him home and not wanting him here. Thanks for letting me vent
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
I'm sorry Jolinda, after 25 years mourning is an emotion that is bound to surface, the end of life as you knew it, the end of your dreams that cannot happen because of addiction.
It's sad what addiction does to families, and my heart and prayers go out for you.
Hugs
It's sad what addiction does to families, and my heart and prayers go out for you.
Hugs
Member
Join Date: May 2005
Posts: 1,691
Jolinda,
I'm so sorry for what you are going through and really understand your feelings. I left my husband in May and the last 11 months have been really really tough on me. My husband's DOC was crack and he has stayed away from it for 6 years now. However, he did not work a program and was HORRID to live with - abusive and unkind mixed with moments of clarity and remorse. I struggled to get away from him and finally did. What I didn't anticipate was the grief. Not for him so much - but the loss of a dream and the grief over wanting a partner.
Things are slowly but surely getting better....it definitely is a detox thing! Not from a substance but from my own neurochemicals. I think that for both of us we're better off in the long run but this interim time is tuff stuff! I know that things will get better for you but I also understand how bad this part feels. There are many times I've sat on the couch and thought the same sort of thoughts that you are thinking.
Keep posting - that helps. Also, it really helped me to get into a support group. Sending you prayers and hugs!
I'm so sorry for what you are going through and really understand your feelings. I left my husband in May and the last 11 months have been really really tough on me. My husband's DOC was crack and he has stayed away from it for 6 years now. However, he did not work a program and was HORRID to live with - abusive and unkind mixed with moments of clarity and remorse. I struggled to get away from him and finally did. What I didn't anticipate was the grief. Not for him so much - but the loss of a dream and the grief over wanting a partner.
Things are slowly but surely getting better....it definitely is a detox thing! Not from a substance but from my own neurochemicals. I think that for both of us we're better off in the long run but this interim time is tuff stuff! I know that things will get better for you but I also understand how bad this part feels. There are many times I've sat on the couch and thought the same sort of thoughts that you are thinking.
Keep posting - that helps. Also, it really helped me to get into a support group. Sending you prayers and hugs!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: The Jungle
Posts: 5,435
Jolinda
I'm sorry that you are lonely and hurting right now. Filling the time with reading or doing things to soothe yourself may be helpful. There have been times where I had to make a goal of just one thing each day that made me happy. Slowly it worked to help me find my joy again.
You are in my prayers today.
gentle hugs
ke
I'm sorry that you are lonely and hurting right now. Filling the time with reading or doing things to soothe yourself may be helpful. There have been times where I had to make a goal of just one thing each day that made me happy. Slowly it worked to help me find my joy again.
You are in my prayers today.
gentle hugs
ke
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