Sister is pregnant.

Old 04-05-2012, 02:20 AM
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Sister is pregnant.

Well, the title pretty much says it all. My sister was is currently on methadone treatment has just revealed that she is pregnant. Still early days I think, as far as she figures only a few weeks.

I just. I don't even know where to begin. We have definitely had our ups and downs. I tried to look for my old post about our "situation" but I think it's pretty far back on this forum.

Anyways, we are sisters, but I pretty much have been keeping my "distance" for the past few months or so, I wouldn't say we act like strangers, but we definitely aren't close. We haven't exactly been best buds growing up anyways with her being the middle sister and me being the oldest but our conversations now are superficial and mostly deal with her older kids. She has a younger one that I use to try and visit at least three times a week (before her recovery & my boundary setting). Sadly I have only seen that niece maybe once or twice since. Which sucks. It sucks hardcore.

When young children are involved how do you go about with your boundaries? Anyone with any experience with this??

She's so young that pretty much the only way to spend time with her is to go into that house. I feel like that can't be done. I have been biting my tongue plenty of times these past few months, I know that if I were to walk into (that still!) dysfunctional house I would revert back to my meddling ways.

As this stage, I can't/won't worry about all the other BS that is going on, and I guess my main concern right now is how healthy is that baby going to be? I have very limited knowledge about Methadone treatments, and even less about it's effects on a pregnancy.
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Old 04-05-2012, 04:35 AM
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Im sure her doctor will address the issues her methadone maintenance will raise. It's not been shown to cause birth defects but it can cause low birth weight, small head size and obviously withdrawal after birth. I don't have any advice of experience to share about contact with your niece though, I'm sure someone will be along
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Old 04-05-2012, 05:03 PM
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Sometimes we have to straighten ourselves out first, and then plan for the future second. If visiting that house risks your peace, then now is just not a good time for you. You may feel stronger down the road.

Until them keep doing what you need to do to establish a good foundation to be a good aunt in the future

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dbh (04-06-2012)
Old 04-06-2012, 12:37 AM
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thanks for the advice, it's so tough. but yeah, I definitely know that I am not strong enough yet to venture into "her territory" and just keep quiet about things. Just sucks feeling like an outsider in my youngest niece's life.

... and thanks for the hugs cece1960!
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Old 04-06-2012, 05:43 AM
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Sending more hugs, and prayers for your sister.

I agree with Cece, putting ourselves in an upsetting place doesn't make it any less upsetting for anyone, it's okay to stay in your own "safe place" and let life unfold as it may.

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