Impurrfect

I am in school, I have a class where we have a "team project". It's online, we have online meetings and talk to each other via phone.

Two of the other 3 members have been advised of my codie/addict background and are most supportive. The other member was driving me crazy...sounded like she was 14 years old, but found out she has a 9-year-old, so maybe she just sounds young.

She just sent an e-mail to all of us. She's sorry she hasn't contributed, she's probably going to fail at least one of her classes, but it's because she is going through a divorce. Her husband is an addict.

I feel bad...I didn't pick up on it, but honestly? She gave no hints of that. I've e-mailed her (yes, on the school site but my program director and another instructor already know my past...I've got nothing to hide). She knows my phone number and my e-mail address and I've encouraged her to use either.

Funny thing, another team member was trained in alcohol/substance abuse when he was in the Army. He's had several knee surgeries and told them "get me OFF these pain meds" as he was afraid of addiction.

It doesn't matter where I go, what I do..addiction keeps coming up. The best I can do is reach out a hand to those who are struggling, though I really didn't expect the support, or the need for that hand, when I registered for school.

I don't know if it's because I'm an RA and a recovering codie that I DRAW these people to me, but it's all good. I'm grateful to the ES&H I've gotten here, and my goal is to pay it forward.

Hugs and prayers,

Amy

dollydo

I went to a orchid group meeting today. There is a woman there who is my age..64, she is very personable and I like her. She has several tats, they seem out of place on her body of today....we had lunch together...she started talking, seems that she is an addict, in recovery. Started with pot ended with crack...Wow...she has been clean and working her program for 10 years..man...who would have thought that she is now an old lady who loves orchids...yes, addiction is everywhere...it touches every facet of our life.

Seren

((((Amy))))) you are very kind to reach out to this classmate. I hope that she reaches for help for herself.

I don't know whether or not you 'attract' people to you who are dealing with addiction in some form or another. Personally, I just think it's more prevalent than we realize. Mr. HG was at a meeting a few weeks back when someone at the meeting said "Hi, I'm so-and-so, and I'm a recovering department head" to which half of the others in the meeting said "Hi so-and-so". My husband could only imagine that these people have been around some recovery program or another.....

cangel2

I think that addiction is way more prevalent than we think. I also think that many people dealing with addiction themselves or with a loved one have a great tendency to isolate. I know that I did when I was first trying to manage my way through with my brother - after that when it was my son I was all about reaching out for lifelines where ever I could find them. But this was only after coming to the realization that there was probably more help out there than I knew about and I needed to make myself vulnerable to accept it. The keeping things "secret" path can make it impossible to recover - just my opinion.

I am always careful to keep my professional and personal life separate so it was not easy for me at work while I was reeling from my AS's situation. Interestingly I was having problems with the work product of one of my employees during that time and had a sit down with her to discuss some issues. About 1/2 way through our conversations she came apart and described how she was trying to balance work with "controlling" her 16 yr old son's drug use. All the pieces just fell into place. Several kleenex later I pulled out a piece of paper and wrote down the rehab contacts where my son went, a drug counselor number, my therapists number, a list of local Nar Anon meetings and the 3 Cs; and then I cried.

Giving back what little I can when the opportunity presents itself helps me in my recovery. If it helps someone else too then that is icing on the cake. I find that I am somehow more open now - especially since I am focused on understanding the boundries between helping and enabling. Maybe others intuitively pick up on this openness.

Impurrfect

((CO))) - I'm fortunate that I don't have enough time, with work and school, and also check with friends here to see if I'm "being codie"...just to check

This isn't the first time I've "attracted" someone on the codie side. Back when I got my car insurance from the same company I'd had 3 cars "stolen" (rented out) and totaled, I fessed up. Seems my agent had a son who was a meth addict. It was a one time thing, but still...gotta love recovery

I do believe it's more prevalent than it used to be, or either I'm more "in tune" with people who are going through rough times. As long as I continue to detach from the A's in a loving way, show them an example of what life is like in recovery, yet still reach out to the loved ones and not get enmeshed, it's all good.

Hugs and prayers,

Amy

Ann

I remember the shame and fear I felt, that someone would find out that my son was an addict. And I remember the relief the first time someone else opened up to me that they understood and cared.

I am extremely selective about who I share details with, but don't hide my past either. It's a common question when meeting new people, like when I started my new job a couple of years ago, and was asked by co-workers "Do you have children?". My answer is "I have a foster son who, sadly is lost in addiction somewhere. We pray he will find his way back." This usually ends most further questions because most people have no idea how to respond, and those who do are usually those who have been exposed to addiction themselves.

Amy, and others here who perhaps feel like a magnet, I think it is that you have a compassionate side, an understanding side...because you do understand, that people open up to you.

And indeed it is sad how very widespread and common active addiction is today. I pray that one day those who are drawn to drugs will find a better path, more help and support, and a life of sobriety.

Hugs