feelsolow

My boyfriend of 2 1/2 years is in rehab. We met while he was in active addiction to opiates. Two months ago we had a baby girl. We are very close but I'm terrified right now. At the family program I went to at the rehab he told me that he needs space to find his true self and not to take that the wrong way. And my mind is talking me to let him have space and everything like he needs. By the way he will be going to a recovery house for six months after rehab so he will have space. I guess that's why I'm confused. I'm so scared he is going to leave me. Someone please help me! My heart is breaking and fast.

dollydo

How would you feel if he was in the military and deployed overseas for 18 months? Sometimes in life, we have to accept what we cannot change, as an adult, this senario and many others may have to be faced....believe me....you will survive, it is not the end of the world.

If he can get his life together you may have a chance at a good life with him, if he doesn't there is no hope. Allow him the dignity, as an adult, to address his addiction and do the responsible thing.

feelsolow

I know that he needs time to get together but I'm scared that after he does he won't want to be with me and we have a baby and I feel horrible for her.

Windmills

If he was to decide he didn't want to continue the relationship, you need to be okay. Take this time alone to learn how to cope by yourself. I know it's horrible raising a baby alone- my daughter will be 2 in May and I left her dad in October. But ever since she was born he was absent, either physically or mentally. Raising a baby with an active addict or a 'dry addict' who isn't using but isnt recovering either is WAY harder than doing it alone. My daughter doesn't need to see or hear his craziness. It's bad for her just like its bad for me.
Don't feel guilty for things that haven't happened. Focus on NOW. Enjoy your amazing, precious newborn every chance you get. It's a cliche but they grow up so fast. I wasted months of my daughters life by being absorbed in her dad's problems, or living in fear of him. I still do to an extent but there is no way in the world I will ever allow him to steal my daughters childhood from me ever again.

ODAT63

Maybe after he comes back YOU do not want to be with him, and in regards to your child, It s better for her to have just mommy then and active addict in the home. And feelings are not facts, because you are scare does not mean that you will not survive.