Lathering at the mouth for a divorce
 

So sick and tired of the lies, deceit, sneaky drug use, half azs attempts to pretend to get clean. We are going to a marriage counsellor Thursday but my heart isn't into it. He went to a meeting tonight and invited me and I thought it totally rocked. I felt so much love, compassion and strength from those folks. All those clean and sober men are starting to look real good. My husband was unfaithful to me last week...though he lies about it...I never will know the real story. I have never even looked at another guy but something in me is starting to see other sober men as quite attractive. I'm so fed up with spouse I don't care if he gets sober or not...I am. I want out of this marriage. I know it will be difficult but nothing like what I have lived through this past year. He says he is going to get sober His own way...well if that means more relapses, one meeting a week, a drink or a joint every now and then...forget it. I feel like I am already gone. I have given it a year and he has made no attempt until today. There are so many beautiful, healthy, kind people out there and I am ready for a change. I know I am angry right now because I expected after one meeting he would be all jazzed like I was....but he was a grump. Heck with it. Sorry I'm ranting but enough is enough. I am starting to love myself and take care of the baby that needs nurturing. The baby is healthier and she isn't putting up with anymore abuse because she loves herself and has enough faith to know her life could be a lot better without this powder snorting stinky footed man!

Thank you for this courageous post. I am missing my exabf this evening. It sounds like the two have a lot in common. It is good to be reminded so vividly what it was REALLY like in the end. Blessings to you,
B

Your post vividly reminded me of my feelings 30 years ago when I finally realized that my life would be better without my XAH. The pain of staying with him was greater than the fear of a future without him.

You will,be in my prayers.

gentle hugs
ke

I like the stinky footed part.

You and your child deserve someone who is clean and sober and who does what they say they are going to do and takes responsibility for themselves.

And right now, that someone is your best freind- you.

"without this powder snorting stinky footed man"

I love that part - maybe some powder ON the feet would help- LOL

Thank you for sharing all the HOPE you are feeling.
You are so right, you and your daughter deserve a happy life!

Great post! Sounds like you are "over it". You know, there is nothing wrong with that. We all have our breaking point and you may have just found yours. Put yourself first. BTW, if he really did cheat...there's your out in my humble opinion. Deal breaker!

Thank you for this post - very honest - and gave me a chuckle!

Kind eyes hit the nail on the head - when the pain of being with some one is greater than the fear of being without them - that is the time to leave. Mine was about a year ago.

My ex wasn't stinky footed though...will have to think of something funny like that!