Heartbroken0608

My 15 years old daughter just came to me crying, telling me that last night her friend (who is like my second daughter) was at another friends house and was given an oxcy. The story she was told was that the friend asked for a tylenol, the other friend went and got her one, and after she took it the girl told her what it really was (and was laughing). My daughter is Unconsolable, she's seen what drugs have done to her brother and she's scared. However, she doesn't want me to say anything. I don't want to break her trust but I'm also scared and know I need to do something. This girl that gave the pill is the daughter of my daughters friend's parents so the parents really encourage the friendship, and I don't think the parents will believe me. I asked my daughter to at least let me talk to the friend. She said she'll talk to her first and make sure it's ok. I know I need to talk to the parents but don't want my daughter to not come to me in the future..

What would you do????

Chino

If it were me, I'd inform both sets of parents, and keep my daughter away from the perpetrator until there was some kind of resolution. At the very least, it's damn good thing that girl wasn't allergic to the drug. I am deathly allergic to a certain painkiller. If someone did that to me, they would have probably killed me.

Taking5

There are times to be your kids' friend, and there are times to take charge as a parent and adult and let the chips fall where they may. Clearly this situation is the latter. Your daughter may be upset with you but it will pass, and eventually she will appreciate what you did, IMHO.

tjp613

I think I would have to have a chat with those parents! My son started on opiates at that age and at 21 he's now a heroin addict. Opiates are NOTHING to mess with, are very dangerous, highly addictive, and are available everywhere!

I would approach it this way, "I was told by someone - who will remain anonymous - that your daughter has access to oxycodone and has given it to others. I thought you should be made aware of it since I would want to know that kind of information if it were my own daughter." I'd protect the source of your information at all costs and present it in the most non-accusatory tone you can muster....then leave it at that. As for the girl who actually took the oxy, I'd be leery of her story. Something sounds fishy about it. Nevertheless, her parent should also be made aware of what you know and with the same level of anonymity. Better yet, wait two weeks before you say anything to anyone so that the pieces can't be put together very easily. The idea is that you don't want YOUR daughter to get crucified for doing the right thing...but if it ends up that she does, at least her conscience is clear. She absolutely DID DO THE RIGHT THING!

I dunno... another thought.... maybe ask a cop for advice? Hehe...It'd be nice if he could pay the supplier-girl a little visit!

I'll be curious to hear what others say. It's a sticky situation, for sure.

Ilovemysonjj

My two cents: I would tell the parents because our children are so precious. I have a fifteen year old daughter and she also has seen the devastation of drugs from her oldest brother and I would pursue anyone who attempted to trick her into doing drugs.
That was immature but if the supplier (girl) did it once, she could do it again and not even tell the person , maybe slip it in a drink.
Tjp gave a good suggestion on how to approach it. I am sure the suppliers parents will also appreciate it if they take you seriously.
TT

Heartbroken0608

My daughter invited her friend over and I talked with the two of them. When "suzie" knew I knew what had happened she started crying. I really believe she didn't know what the pill was. After a lot of talking I told her her parents had to know and either I could tell them or she could. She asked me to go with her when she told her parents. They were shocked but overall it went ok When I left her parents were calling the "suppliers" parents so they could all talk. The "suppliers" sister just had surgery and I guess that's where the painkillers came from.

I don't have to worry about my daughter being around the "supplier". She has never liked her and hates it when "suzie" is with her.

Thank you for your replies. As always - very helpful. I 100% agree we have to be parents before friends with our kids but I didn't want to do anything that would cut off the lines of communication with my daughter. She totally did the right thing and I'm so proud of her. Sad that she has to worry about these things, but unfortunately this is the world she's growing up in.

Ann

I am so glad you did this. They are 15 years old, someone gave a girl a drug without her knowledge or permission. This is important stuff that parents should know.

I hope it all was just a terrible lack of judgement that won't happen again. Either way, you did the right thing.

Hugs

tjp613

I'm very proud of both girls!! They were very brave and I'm sure it taught them a great life lesson.

December2011

Sounds like you did great, Heartbroken, and you have a wonderful daughter. Good for you both.

On another note: Scary that this kid has access to her sister's prescription- if there even was a prescription.