December2011

Laurie's Post

"I am a recovering alcoholic/addict for over 30+ continuous years now. I am a recovering codie for over 27+ continuous years now. I am a diabetic fighting to get my diabetes in remission for over 12 years now.

What you have described is the same thing as allowing me to live in your home, giving me whatever I wanted to eat (especially the sweets ie ice cream, cake, cookies, candy, etc) in unlimited quantities and then giving me higher and higher does of insulin. You would be KILLING ME.

Right now you are KILLING that friend of yours.

I finally found recovery when my WHOLE FAMILY and MY FRIENDS, led by my MOTHER said NO MORE, this is YOUR PROBLEM and only you can fix it. Do NOT try to call us, come to our homes, or steal from us. If you call, we will hang up on you, if you come to the door, we will close it in your face, and if you attempt to steal from us, we will call the police. And they meant it and STOOD BY THEIR GUNS.

That was early January of 1979 and it took me another 2 1/2 years with the last 1 1/2 years of that living on the streets to find recovery for myself.

To this day, I thank them every day. Now it is in my prayers as they are both deceased. However, that action on their part, no matter what else they did for me over the years (the money, the bail outs, etc) was THE BEST THING THEY EVER DID FOR ME.

Please, please, find and attend some Alanon and Naranon meetings, to learn how to set some 'boundaries' for yourself and remove that man from your home.

You are not helping him, you are just delaying his demise.

J M H O

Love and hugs"

This post really moved me, and gave me hope that someday my son will recover.

I am the "mom" who led the charge of no contact recently, and I have spent nights in tears thinking that i was too late, but I see there is still hope. Hopelessness is a miserable thing.

he was the diabetic, and I was giving him all the cakes and goodies he wanted for 7+ years. It was and is posts like these that directly help me and my son.

Thank you Laurie--I need to print this and stick it to my frig.

Hugs

laurie6781

You may not realize it, but by 'going no contact' and no more 'help from you' you have given a most precious gift:


The gift of adulthood!!!!

and all it's responsibilities, consequences, and good times.


Someday he will realize that.

Love and hugs,

December2011

"To this day, I thank them every day. Now it is in my prayers as they are both deceased. However, that action on their part, no matter what else they did for me over the years (the money, the bail outs, etc) was THE BEST THING THEY EVER DID FOR ME."

I am sure at the time, it was the hardest thing they ever did but you made them proud.

I had become sad, because I read something on the internet about the chances of recovery being slight, because of the drugs he was using and the amount of time he had been using. I was starting to think that I was too late. that I enabled him for so long that he probably would not recover, even though i stopped enabling him.

Anyhow, I see that there is hope, and your story means a lot to me. I understand that it can take a long time. I also accept the possibility of the worst case scenario(death)but In all reality, I know for a fact that he could have died just as easily when he lived with me with me even though I thought I was protecting him. As a matter of fact he almost did die when he blacked out while driving his car. it was a miracle he was only slightly hurt. I , by the way got the car for him thinking he would use it to get to work, when really i was providing a death trap.

thanks again for your wonderful post, and I will "stick to my guns!" I love that: "the gift of adulthood." You are truly a special lady.