Son released from jail
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Join Date: Nov 2011
Posts: 227
Son released from jail
My son had court today and got off with time served, no probation, no requirements to attend NA or any type of treatment. I am so nervous. It was hard with him in jail but at least I knew he was safe. I'm trying not to awfulize (not sure if that's a word or not...) but I can't stop the "what if" thinking. He's 1500 miles away but that won't stop him from trying to get me to "help". His uncle is picking him up and the plan is to tell him he can stay with the uncle tonight and then he has to contact the treatment centers that we've already contacted on his behalf first thing tomorrow morning. If he chooses to come back up here i will only help if he goes directly from the airport to a treatment center (in a cab so he won't be able to manipulate me into letting him come home). If he doesn't like those options he's on his own.
I guess I'm just looking for some encouragement to help me stay strong and not give into his inevitable pleas for money. I've told him countless times over the past three months that I will only help him if he's seeking treatment. I hope all my anxiety is fruitless and that he'll really be ready to change his life. He's said he is, but I think that's the only thing he could say while locked up. Time will tell I guess.
Thankfully my regular meeting is tonight. I'm sure I'll feel better afterwards.
I guess I'm just looking for some encouragement to help me stay strong and not give into his inevitable pleas for money. I've told him countless times over the past three months that I will only help him if he's seeking treatment. I hope all my anxiety is fruitless and that he'll really be ready to change his life. He's said he is, but I think that's the only thing he could say while locked up. Time will tell I guess.
Thankfully my regular meeting is tonight. I'm sure I'll feel better afterwards.
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Join Date: Sep 2011
Posts: 317
Yep, you got the little reprieve from worry-jail, and now the dreaded return.
Stick to your guns on this one. We are pulling for you and your son.
Have you ever been to one of those timeshare seminars where they give you free stuff, but they pressure you to death to buy a vacation suite? Well, I find the manipulation and leg twisting of even the most seasoned timeshare salesman to pale in comparison to the pleading addict.
With that being said, You put the chance at rehab out there; the ball is in his court-Maybe time for no contact if he doesn’t go—that way you won’t cave, and you will have more peace in your life.
Stick to your guns on this one. We are pulling for you and your son.
Have you ever been to one of those timeshare seminars where they give you free stuff, but they pressure you to death to buy a vacation suite? Well, I find the manipulation and leg twisting of even the most seasoned timeshare salesman to pale in comparison to the pleading addict.
With that being said, You put the chance at rehab out there; the ball is in his court-Maybe time for no contact if he doesn’t go—that way you won’t cave, and you will have more peace in your life.
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Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: St. Louis, Mo. USA
Posts: 265
Good for YOU !!! Hold your ground! He has to seek help himself, But they only do it when they hit there bottom. With out any money or help from you there are not to many other choices for him.
Keep working your program it works when you work it. Glad your meeting is tonight you will have the support you need, but our prayer is with you and your son. I aways feel better after my meetings.
In my opinion your doing the best thing for your son. Hang in there.
Keep working your program it works when you work it. Glad your meeting is tonight you will have the support you need, but our prayer is with you and your son. I aways feel better after my meetings.
In my opinion your doing the best thing for your son. Hang in there.
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Join Date: Nov 2011
Posts: 227
Thanks for your replies. I'm feeling better and made sure I got a fesh phone list at the meting tonight.
December, I've never gone to one of those timeshare things because I know I would leave owning at least two units! Maybe I should sign up for a few to practice saying no!
Still no call from him but the uncle just called to say he was on his way to pick him up.
December, I've never gone to one of those timeshare things because I know I would leave owning at least two units! Maybe I should sign up for a few to practice saying no!
Still no call from him but the uncle just called to say he was on his way to pick him up.
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Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: The Jungle
Posts: 5,435
Originally Posted by December2011 
Have you ever been to one of those timeshare seminars where they give you free stuff, but they pressure you to death to buy a vacation suite? Well, I find the manipulation and leg twisting of even the most seasoned timeshare salesman to pale in comparison to the pleading addict.
Be strong. For you. For him. And for everyone else you love in your life.
gentle hugs
ke
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Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Chicago area
Posts: 4,269
Originally Posted by Heartbroken0608
December, I've never gone to one of those timeshare things because I know I would leave owning at least two units! Maybe I should sign up for a few to practice saying no!
Man oh man. It was brutal for the sales team because I crossed my arms and said no to everything. I know better than to say "no because...", cause it gives the sales force something to work with.
Most teens are better negotiators than timeshare sales people.
Hands down, the addict in my life trumped them all.
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Join Date: Nov 2011
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Had a crazy day but it all worked out. He did call all the treatment centers this morning. No openings, 4 month waiting list, etc etc. while at first he was amenable he slowly became agitated and started with the blame game (pointed directly at me of course). I held my ground and told him the choice was his. He could keep looking or decide to give up and be homeless, but he had to leave the uncles house tonight one way or another. He left for a while, came back 2 hours later saying he had found a program he could get into on Monday and he'd also found a sober house that was technically full but had agreed to take him for the weekend. The uncle dropped him off an hour ago and before he did my son used the uncles phone to text me "thanks mom, I'm going to do this".
Praying this is the beginning of good things.
Praying this is the beginning of good things.
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Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: On a Sailboat
Posts: 3,871
Originally Posted by Heartbroken0608
Had a crazy day but it all worked out. He did call all the treatment centers this morning. No openings, 4 month waiting list, etc etc. while at first he was amenable he slowly became agitated and started with the blame game (pointed directly at me of course). I held my ground and told him the choice was his. He could keep looking or decide to give up and be homeless, but he had to leave the uncles house tonight one way or another. He left for a while, came back 2 hours later saying he had found a program he could get into on Monday and he'd also found a sober house that was technically full but had agreed to take him for the weekend. The uncle dropped him off an hour ago and before he did my son used the uncles phone to text me "thanks mom, I'm going to do this".
Praying this is the beginning of good things.
Praying this is the beginning of good things.
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Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: In the South
Posts: 228
Heartbroken, that's great news!!! Now just don't answer your phone while he's in there.
December2011 is right about those timeshare salespeople! It the timeshare folks were smart, they'd hire addicts to do their selling
(ok, bad joke, but they need jobs!)
December2011 is right about those timeshare salespeople! It the timeshare folks were smart, they'd hire addicts to do their selling
(ok, bad joke, but they need jobs!)
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