Wow, this recovery stuff comes in handy!
 

I called my favorite aunt (Phyllis) today..she was mom's older sister, has been a huge amount of support since I began recovery. I'd heard that the state she lived in was under "severe weather watches" and called to check on her.

They are far away from the storms, which I am grateful for. We talked, and she told me she was afraid to leave my uncle (he's 94, has survived 3 heart attacks and 2 strokes) alone, that he may struggle and die while she's gone. The same feelings my dad went through when my mom died:(

I also found out that my 2nd cousin (her granddaughter) is an A. I had my suspicions, ((A)) has always had issues, but had no idea there had been interventions, rehab and jail. ((A's)) mom, dad, sister and her are coming to see my aunt and uncle the end of the month.

She broke down, it's tearing her apart. She went through this with me, when I was out there, and I can't undo it. She can't really talk about it without falling apart...her life partner is not doing well, her granddaughter isn's doing well.

Thanks to my CODIE and addiction recovery, I think I helped. We talked about "letting go and letting God" and though she's not there yet, she knows that's what she needs to do.

I was there for the woman who has been a huge supporter of me, once I began recovery. I told her how I always thanked HP that she, my dad, and other family members let me hit bottom, figure may way back out and have been support to me. She cried.

I also told her "here's something that might make you feel better...I will have five years in recovery a week from today". She cried, said "OMG, one..two..three..four..FIVE"!

My dad had called while I was talking to her, I didn't answer (he's 100 miles from their house bue I was the responsible person and stayed home to take care of the house and furbabies). I told him about what was going on, and his heart sunk. He knows. I put that man through hell.

He called me later and said "is this just between you and Phyl, or is there a way you can call ((A's)) parents and talk to them?" Wow, I know I've shared my codie ES&H with him, he's not quite accepting of it, but he's heard me talk about all my friends here who I hope I've shared something good.

It is a secret between my aunt and I, but I realized...the life I live today? It has had some impact. It's not that I'm "all that"...it's that holding boundaries, struggling like hell to get my life back has not gone unnoticed.

I am going to get to Arkansas, to see my aunt and uncle ASAP. I realized, this evening...my priorities: #1 is God, my HP, #2 is my recovery, and #3 is my family. School? Job? I have awesome bosses and instructors..will work it out. I've prayed to find a way to my aunt and uncle's and dad told me tonight "we will find a way". I don't want my next vision of my uncle to be in a coffin. I sent a message to the one granddaughter that I'm going to try to come when they are all there. I shut my family out in the "using days". Today? I just want to be there when I'm needed, and when I need.

Hugs and prayers,

Amy

The Struggle of a Butterfly :)

You are an amazing woman, Amy. :)

I am in awe of your continuing recovery.

Warmest of hugs from Kansas! :hug:

Amy, you give us all encouragement, hope, and strength. I appreciate you so much and learn much through your postings. Thank you.

Your recovery is shining brightly Amy, and you are a huge inspiration to all of us here. Congratulations on the upcoming 5 year celebration!!!

Hugs

Good luck and God bless Amy.

Thank you all:) I just got off the phone with my aunt. She's nearly to the point of accepting that my uncle is going to die..maybe not tomorrow, next week, but he is getting worse and that the medicine field has probably done all they could.

She wants me to come, but not at the same time as my cousins because my uncle "doesn't do crowds well", even if it's relatives. She basically told me "I need you" and I told her I will get there ASAP.

I think I'm the only family member who she can really talk to about this stuff. We're a very supportive lot, but I think she appreciates my acceptance of "what I can't control" as it's from a different perspective than "normies"? Or maybe just because after my mom died she told me "you're mine, you know that, right?:)"

Hugs and prayers,

Amy