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Hi, I'm new and just need support.

Old 03-01-2012, 09:58 PM
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Hi, I'm new and just need support.

My husband is a drug addict. Has been since his teens. He has been to rehab many times for alcohol. He abused meth for 10 years and got off it on his own.
We have been together for 5 years and married for 2. In our time together he has been clean from drugs but not alcohol but has drank responsibly. There have been a few times he drank too much and was a dick but it never got out of control. He has chronic pain, arthritis in his spine. A few months a go he went to pain doc and stupidly got a script for pills, oxy condone that he was supposed to only take when pain was unbearable. I was skeptical but have not had any reason to not trust him so I stupidly believed he would be fine. At the end of jan I found out he has been snorting the pills. I kicked him out the next day. We have two small children and I don't want them around drugs. Since he has been gone he has started seeing A councilor and so have I. She has recommended he go back to meeting which he is not happy about but is willing to do.
I have decided to let him back home since he is currently not on the hydrocodone anymore.
How do I ever trust him again? How do I get over being lied too? How do I balance my needs with always wondering if he is ok? I'm just not sure I can do this and I need to hear from those who have.
He is a grat husband and father, minus the snorting pills in my ******* bathroom. I just feel like I don't know him at all. I can't trust that this is the first time this has happened even though I have no evidence of the contrary.
Thanks in advance for your support.
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Old 03-01-2012, 10:41 PM
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(((CM))) - welcome to SR, though I'm sorry for what has brought you here.

I'm both a recovering addict, and have loved ones who are A's (addict/alcoholic) and though I built up the trust of my loved ones, the last bf I left and loved? I just knew I'd never be able to trust him and with a bit of codependency and addiction recovery under my belt, I was able to let him go.

Keep reading and posting..I just posted on another thread about the trust issue, and there are tons of stories who have been through, or are going through what you are.

You're not alone.

Hugs and prayers,

Amy
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Old 03-02-2012, 07:57 AM
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Welcome to SR. Many of us have walked a similar path and can share our experiences. You are not alone.

One of the most important lessons I have learned it to remove the focus from the addict and channel that energy into myself and those who can't help themselves (children). The addict seems to have the ability to set up house in our heads and when that happens there is only chaos.

Time always reveals more. I hope you stick around. Read. Learn. The best tools for dealing with addiction in my case was self exploration.

As always, I am so sorry for what brings you here......but searching for help for you is a great first step.

Gentle hugs
ke
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Old 03-03-2012, 01:57 PM
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Unhappy New Too! I don't know what to do!

I am on my third marriage. My second was to an alcoholic for 9 years. This marriage started out great, it was perfect. He had a back injury (deep tissue injury) before we met (we have been together 10 years) and was, and still is going to a pain management doctor in our town. This doc is know in our community as a pill pusher. Over the past 10 years my husband has in increased from some percocet to quite a few percocet to a few oxy's and now an amount that I can't even believe hasn't killed him yet. He hasn't had any more injuries and the one he did have was not in his back but in his muscles. Can phantom pains caused by the oxy really make hi believe that he hurts as bad as people with cancer? I know people with cancer that are taking less than my husband. He can get his precription filled by the insurance every 25 days. He ALWAYS runs out at least 4 or 5 days before and suffers withdrawal symptoms every month. His scrip is for 240 30mg oxy's. I think that is an astronomical amount. He says it isn't and that I am nuts. Does anyone have an answer to that? Is it a lot or am I nuts. I was in a head on collision 20 years ago and have several injuries that still afflict pain after many surgeries. I have a scrip for vicoprofen and I get 155 which last me way over a month and most of the time almost two. Except for when my husband can find where I have hidden them and then I too run out. He will also borrow from his alcoholic oxy addicted brother who in turn borrows from him when he is out. He also has a contact (I have no idea who but it is at his work) luckily so far he hasn't used him too much. He cut himself at work last year and they made him go to workers comp to get stitched up and they require a drug test. The found drugs in his system that weren't his scrip (probably mine) he got suspened without pay until he got a release note from a therapist saying he wasn't addicted. His son gave him the name of a fried that happened to be on the approved therapist list so he went to him once and got the note. I am rambling. I just don't have anyone to tell all of this too. My fam is sick of it because I don't do anything about it. I don't love the him he has become. He makes me sick. I hate Oxy and I hate the doctor that prescribes them and I hate him for choosing to take them!. Just venting
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