Support welcome.

Old 02-23-2012, 09:08 PM
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Location: Findlay, Ohio
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Support welcome.

Hi, I'm Jenny. My sister is a drug addict. She started with pot around 17 years old and the graduated until her addicted spiraled with perscription pain medication. She had always smoked marijuana recreationally. Then one day she supposedly fell on some ice. She went to the doctor who gave her a perscription of percocet and that changed everything. Let me back up a bit.

My sister was the funniest person I've ever met. She has always had her own sense of the world and didn't really care what anyone else thought. When we were kids she dressed in the brightest, ugliest, neon clothes. They were awful, but she loved them. One of her signature outfits was a neon orange shirt, neon green shorts, and old cowboy boots. She had such compassion for animals and people. She would do anything for anyone that needed help. We were very close. As teenagers of course we argued. I was the oldest of 3 so there became a time when I was more caught up with boyfriends and so on than being a good sister. I had no idea she was sad or lonely and had no clue she started doing drugs. By the time we realized there was a major problem, I was married with a toddler and a baby on the way. I lived on the same street as she did. She stayed in an apartment with several other people, sleeping on the floor. Apparently it was a non stop party. Her addict friends new where my house was because of her. At 7 months pregnant with my youngest child one of her friends broke into my house and threatened to hurt us if I didn't let him hide there from the police. I was home alone. I was extremely angry at her for that. During that same time period my sister jumped my other sister from behind in the parking lot of her work and beat her up pretty badly, leaving her very bruised and with a concussion. She went on a rampage in my house because I refused to let her take my 3 year old daughter to the park. I thought things were pretty bad, but that was nothing compared to what was coming.

My sister had 2 children. The father was out of the picture and she was doing things on her own. Single parenthood is no easy task. The kids were 1 and 3 years old when she received her first perscription of percocet. She was instantly addicted. From that first perscription stemmed multiple so called health conditions, mental conditions, and so on. She developed munchausen's by proxy and had the kids in and out of the hospital so many times it was insane. I don't know how many times she told us they were dying only for us to find them happy and playing when we'd get to the hospital.

There were a few times the kids got into her pills and she had no idea if they ingested any or not. She'd dump the kids off and disappear for a few weeks at a time. I wanted to turn her in and keep the kids but I was under tremendous pressure from my family not to. My mom wanted to keep everything hush hush hoping she would come out of it on her own before she got in permanent trouble.

Eventually child services got involved. A police officer found my niece and nephew outside at 1 am in March in one of her neighbor's vehicles. My nephew showed the officer where they live and when he walked in he found my sister unconscious with an open bottle of percocet in her hands and pills all over the floor. They removed the children that night and they came to live with me. After about a year cps gave the kids back to her even though I fought like hell to keep them. In the following months, she got beat up in front of them, my niece was molested by one of the guys she bounced around, her house was robbed by their father, and so on.

Fast foward to now. She passed enough drug tests that cps deemed her to be recovered. She completed the mental health evaluations, the counseling, and is off probation. She got approved for disability for her mental condition that apparently stemmed from her years as an addict. She lives in state paid housing and was actually doing well. Then she met Brock. Brock has 9 children, only 1 of which he supports but only sees occassionally. He works part time at McDonalds to support his pot habit. He treats her like crap and regularly leaves his kid with her for days at a time. He doesn't help her financially at all. She wants to move an hour away to be with him, give up her housing certificate, and live with other addicts. She is becoming volatile, angry, and very confrontational. She's picking fights, and keeps bringing up her past drug use saying how she was never an addict and we just need to stop talking about it, only we never do.

I am terrified, heart broken, and frankly feel helpless. I love her, but I love the kids more. I just don't know what to do. My mom is consumed with her new marriage and doesn't want involved. I feel like I am the only one who sees what is happening. It is so frustrating!!! I have no one in my life who understands or sees what I see. I just need some support, even if it is from strangers.
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Old 02-24-2012, 08:18 AM
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You did not cause your sister's addiction.
You cannot control your sister's addiction.
You cannot cure your sister's addiction.

It's time to get into CPS's face, again.
Please fight for those poor kids.
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Old 02-24-2012, 09:43 AM
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OTL is right, there's nothing you can do for your sister, but alert CPS. You can also have police do a "well-being" check at a time when you know there's things going on over there. Sometimes you do what you have to do, for the sake of the innocent children.
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Old 02-24-2012, 11:21 AM
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im sorry to hear about your sister drug addiciton makes no sense and feels like you are living a nightmare, im not sure what you can do for your sister the answer is probably nothing, but the children thats so sad to hear they are innocent and unable to fend for themselves please be there voice
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Old 02-24-2012, 12:10 PM
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'even if it is from stranger' if you were going to any support group or counselor chances are they would be strangers too, and some times that is a good thing, you can be very honest and the strangers are not emotionally involved in your situation. A good example is your mother, she is in 'proctect my child' mode and is not thinking logically, but emotionally. This also is probably an embarrassment for her.

(((Blessings to you and your family))) for this nightmare you are going through.

You must get help for the children, your sister is only thinking of herself and the drugs.

One has already been molested, how sad. Get them out of there immediately! and stay on the forum and read all of the info you can about addicts, if you can not find an Al Anon group in your area they are online too.

You are a strong person and the kiddies are so fortunate to have you!
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Old 02-24-2012, 07:37 PM
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I'm sorry to hear about your sister. I have drug addiction in my family, too. As others have mentioned, you can't do anything to control your sister. I think the best thing you can do in this situation is to all CPS. Tell them what you know. I know that's not what your mom wants, but it is the best thing for the kids. Did your niece receive any treatment after she was molested? As you know, it is dangerous for the kids to be around this sort of environment.
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Old 02-27-2012, 07:40 PM
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Thank you

Thank you all for your responses. I assure you, I am doing everything I can to help the kids. I am in regular contact with CPS and the GAL in charge of her case. I went to her house last weekend and she was walking with a cane because she supposedly fell and hurt her leg again. I noticed her pupils were pinpoint and she just had the appearance of being high. I played with her kids for a while and left. Her house was trashed.

My mom fights me on everything. When she was at rock bottom before I tried so hard to get her into a rehab or hospital or something. Everyone told me that I couldn't do anything unless she agreed to it. One day she kept threatening to hurt herself. She called us all to say goodbye, so I was on the phone in a split second to the police. If she is a threat to herself they can hold her for 3 days for a psych consult. Let me tell you, that started a war with my mother! My sister ended up with 2 assault charges on her for attacking a hospital security guard and my mom swears to this day that it was unwarranted, even though she bit the guy twice.

I'm just constantly between a rock and a hard place. I am a very busy mother of three. I work at Job & Family Services, have three kids, 2 dogs, a husband, and a house to take care of. I'm an artist and am involved in a local art guild. My plate is very full with just my stuff. On top of that I have my sister, her kids, and my mom.

Thank you guys very much for your support and kind words.

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Old 02-27-2012, 08:26 PM
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((((artista)))))) I so feel for you and the children in this situation. Sounds like you are doing all you can to protect them. I can't imagine that they wouldn't keep your sister longer than 3 days in the psyc ward. She isn't only a threat to herself, but sounds like to others as well.

Addiction is cruel and heartless. I pray God will give you peace and wisdom through this storm and protect the children as well. Bless you for doing what you can. It is sometimes easier to talk to "strangers" for many reasons. There is much to be learned from these posts. I've been at this a long time, and I'm still learning. So hang around. No one here can "fix" it, but we do care and can be a support link for you.

God bless you. I care.
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Old 02-28-2012, 10:01 AM
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I exhausted myself just reading about how much is on your plate. Any chance you might consider reducing the variables and focus to the children? Sounds like mom has her own baggage and like your sister, nothing you do or say is going to cause either to consider alternatives.

In the end, the only thing we have control over is our reaction.
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Old 02-29-2012, 06:42 PM
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Washbe, you won't believe this but they didn't keep her for even 3 days. They felt bad for her and after letting her sleep off her stupor they discharged her. I tried desperately, practically begged and they let her go. I live three hours away from the rest of my family now because of my job. It is both a blessing and a curse. I worry about not being able to be there every minute, but at the same time it is a good thing for me and my kids that I'm not.

OTL, I've recently resigned myself to not putting so much energy into trying to rescue my sister, reasoning with her, or trying to get her to stop. She's going to do what she does. My role as of late is to just be there for the kids, to give them a break from their reality as much as I can, and give them big doses of happiness every chance I get.

The support and responses from you guys is a really big help. I can't thank you enough!
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Old 02-29-2012, 08:06 PM
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Sadly, psych hospitals are reducing funding so do not always have the capacity to treat those with mental illness AND substance abuse. A good friend of mine was drunk/high and dangling off a 40story threatening to jump. The police came and brought him to the nearby ER. Somehow, he conned them into believing he was okay and was sent home the next morning! Opiete addicts have been known to fake injuries or even hurt themselves just to get the Vicadin/percacet ect...
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Old 02-29-2012, 08:15 PM
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It's a shame not only that you are dealing with all this, but that you can't get any support from your mother. It seems like she just wants to hide her head in the sand and pretend none of this is happening.

When the **** hits the fan, she is going to be in serious trouble. Perhaps just as bad mentally as your sister.

Because it will hit the fan eventually. A good thing about addicts with kids...they never get away with it for long, because of the welfare of the children. The kids get taken away before it is too late. At least if they want to go down after that, they are not taking the innocent children with them.
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