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How's the chance of giving up Cocaine & alcohol by himself?

Old 02-16-2012, 07:11 AM
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IsItAlright
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How's the chance of giving up Cocaine & alcohol by himself?

Hi,

I wanna know how much is the chance of giving up cocaine & alcohol addiction without therapy treatment?

ExABF said he's having hard time and I could never understand as I have never be in touch with this prob in my life. He said that he'd join therapy but in the end he decided to deal with it by himself.

But now, he is telling me that he has been dealing with it for his whole life (but he's just 30). Is there any hope? Some say that's really hard to stop taking cocaine... is it true?

he's like... one day he'd called and told me that he hated himself doing it and said he'd probably deserve all sxxt which had happened around him... but next day, he could become so mean to me & full of lie.

Is it a withdrawal effect or he's just a bad guy?!
Sometimes, I feel that he's playing with my sympathy
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Old 02-16-2012, 07:20 AM
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I can only give my own personal experience as a long-term recovering addict/alcoholic. The chances of me staying clean/sober on my own were nil, zero, zilch, nada, not possible.

I had to have/still do have a program of recovery for myself.
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Old 02-16-2012, 07:31 AM
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"he's having hard time....
he is telling me that he has been dealing with it for his whole life (but he's just 30)...."


"in the end he decided to deal with it by himself."
- And how's that ever worked out for him?

"Sometimes, I feel that he's playing with my sympathy."
Yes, he is. He's an addict, and that's what addicts do.

Your question:
"I wanna know how much is the chance of giving up cocaine & alcohol addiction without therapy treatment?"

Not a very good one, he's already tried that route.

Question you have to ask yourself is,
Do you wish to spend, let's say, the next 30 years on the ride while he "deals" with it himself?

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Old 02-16-2012, 07:32 AM
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My brother is one of those people growing up who adults used to say "wow, he is going to rule the world someday. He could accomplish anything he set his mind to. I admired him so much. He couldn't stop even WITH intense inpatient treatment, and more than one time for that matter. "Sometimes, I feel that he's playing with my sympathy" <-- Trust your feelings. If your exaBF just did it himself he'd be in a very very minuscule percentile.
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Old 02-16-2012, 07:55 AM
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Thanks everybody.

I just need someone to remind me sometimes.
For 5 months, I have been reading this site to remind myself to stay away. I click into this site when I'm in train, lunch time, in bed... I read this site when I feel weak and miss him. I take it as my "self-help" activity.

He's playing with my sympathy even after breakup... have been 5 months.
I truly wish that he could deal with it. I even feel sad for him as his mom has been sharing weed with him since he was 11. And she's alcoholic... I guess that's why I think he's a victim & he deserves help... But it's only damaging me

Thanks everyone who contribute to this site!
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Old 02-16-2012, 08:01 AM
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He can't play with your sympathy if his correspondences aren't making it to your eardrums or eyeballs. Just sayin'

hugs
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Old 02-16-2012, 08:36 AM
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Cocaine and alchohol together is a dangerous mix. My ex did the same every week. Once a week ritual for him, and he'd get fidgety if he didn't.
He hated it and loved it at the same time.
Unfortunately, he has to want to stop. A lot of people take it now, and it's more socially acceptable in large groups. I've seen it.
I tried everything for years. Begging, pleading, crying, threats. All in vain.
Although there aren't any real physical withdrawals from what i understand, it's all mental.
And like your ex, he would become verbally aggressive under the influence. He thought no one has a right to complain about anything.

It all sounds familiar? The only advise i can give is to do your own thing, with your own friends, your own family, and have a life separate from his. It's easier to let go that way and move on.
But the obsessing over him will take time to go. I still worry about my ex even now.

Limiya
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Old 02-16-2012, 09:08 AM
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OMG Limiya,

I just read your thread long "addicted to my ex"
I'm going through the same thing & he's doing exactly the same thing as your ex did. He called me sometimes and told me to come over, said that he needed me & said that he's not sleeping with other women... gosh...

I just booked a psychologist today, will go there next Wed. the hourly rate is more expensive than cocaine... but i need it. I need to get rid of my addiction to my ex.

(just read the sticky note about the brain chemical of the loved one. It gave me some insight too. The chaos our ex gave us messed up our chemical in our brain, we go through withdrawal symtom as our brain is not used to the peace anymore... it went too extreme, from the chaotic life to the peaceful life after breakup)
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