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Newbie looking for help.....

Old 02-10-2012, 08:19 PM
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Newbie looking for help.....

Hi there....I'm so hoping that you all wil be able to help me. I have been married to an addict for four years. When we got together, I had no idea he was using. Be hid it VERY well. Shortly after we got together, I learned the truth. At first, I was astonished. He has a lung disease that he was born with and needless to say, smoking weed is the last thing he needs to be doing. Unfortunately, marijuana was the least of our worries i soon found out.

My hubby has been hooked on pain pills for about 7 years. At first, I think I was in denial about how serious the problem really was. We didn't share an account and his money wasn't really a factor in my budget. Once we got married and started sharing accounts, this is when the problems starting coming up. He would write checks for money that wasn't available. He overdrew the account more times than I can count. Up until a month ago, my mom, unknowingly, was supporting his habit. I finally hit my breaking point after taking his debit card away and telling him not to go to the bank and withdraw ANYTHING!! I figured up he was spending about $700 each moth on his little "habits" and I got pissed!! I am the only one working in our household (he's on disability and gets a very small check each month), so that $700 is huge for us.

After a very ugly argument, he made an appointment with a substance abuse counselor. He started taking Suboxone about two and a half weeks ago. Its been okay. He isn't buying pills anymore...still smoking...but one battle at a time I suppose.

The issue I'm having is his zombie-like behavior on the Suboxone. He hasn't really slept in days. He drops thongs, passes out (temporarily) in the middle of just about everything he does. Its driving me nuts. I don't feel like I have a husband at this point. Its like I have a child. Its so frustrating.

Thanks for letting me vent.
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Old 02-10-2012, 08:37 PM
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Hi...and welcome to the board. You have come to the right place.

I'm very, very sorry you're going through this. You will find, as you read the posts and especially the "sticky notes" at the top, we can feel you pain. You're not alone. There are some very kind, very wise people here.

I typically don't like to give advice, but rather feedback. It is important for you to recognize that you didn't cause it, you can't control it, and you can't cure it. It's the nature of the disease. My hope for you is that you start to take care of yourself. I suggest finding a local Nar Anon/Al Anon meeting. Both are wonderful programs and can get on you on the path to recovering.

In the meantime, read as much as you can here. Be safe, and God Bless.

ZoSo
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Old 02-10-2012, 08:41 PM
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Suboxone is dope to. logo
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Old 02-10-2012, 09:35 PM
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It's your husband's responsibility to speak with his prescribing physician, about his current dosage and obvious side effects.

Please consider the suggestion above to work a recovery program for yourself. You still may not be able to accept him as is, but you'll find your own path independent of his.
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Old 02-10-2012, 11:53 PM
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If you look under the Drug Addiction section - there are many threads related to subozone .... might be helpful as well (I dont know anything about it myself)

So sorry your family is going through this struggle.
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Old 02-11-2012, 04:48 AM
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That doesnt sound right he should talk to his Dr. sounds like he is supplementing the suboxone with benzo's. The weed could also be affecting him too.I'm sorry for your situationkeep coming back and posting it helps
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Old 02-11-2012, 06:21 AM
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Welcome to SR. I hope you find comfort here.

It is tough being married to someone who is addicted. It's very frustrating being the only bread winner while a spouse is not only not contributing to the household income but draining the income with their addiction (and the behaviors that accompany it).

I hope you stick around. Learn as much as you can. And take care of you. It's very easy to allow an addict to drain our physical, emotional and psychological energy. That's why it's so very important to concentrate on self care.

gentle hugs
ke
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Old 02-11-2012, 06:33 AM
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So sorry you are having those kinds of problems. I so recommend you keep your money separate from his, and please try not to enable him in any way. Good luck
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Old 02-11-2012, 08:26 AM
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Thank you all for listening and your input. I know he isn't taking anything with the Suboxone. I'm just wondering if he is taking it correctly. Its just so frustrating!!!
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