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Finally... I hope

Old 02-04-2012, 03:33 PM
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Finally... I hope

This is my first post here, but I have been lurking, learning and strengthening for well over a year.

AB is finally going to seek inpatient / extensive outpatient for the first time in almost 4 years.

My story is like everyone else's, so I am not going to bore anyone with our history. AB is 32 and an addict. His drugs of choice is oxys or if not available cocaine.

AB recently has been on his road to recovery off and on for over a year. He was doing meetings and tapering and was going to start therapy and methadone treatment.

AB is a binge user, and last night he did it again, the whole paycheck gone. I believe the bottom has been hit for him - the steps for treatment are in motion.

As far as myself - I have been a horrible enabler and codie. I have my own drugs addiction that I deal with, and found myself using with him just to deal. I haven't stuck by boundaries and put myself and family in situations that were unhealthy.

Since November 2011, I have been working on myself day in and out. This work has not been easy. I have been waking up happier. Going to bed with less tears. And finding that the addiction does not consume all my waking moments and dreams.

I still worry - I still grieve - I still wonder - I still pray - I still hope

I know that inpatient is not a guaranteed fix - but I think it is AB's best shot.
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Old 02-04-2012, 04:00 PM
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Originally Posted by gorrie View Post
Since November 2011, I have been working on myself day in and out.
Welcome to the board and good for you

I hope your bf follows through. What is your best shot?
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Old 02-04-2012, 05:10 PM
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I would focus on your recovery,yours is your responsibility and his is his. Will this time be the "It" for him...who knows, all I know is that two unhealthy people in a relationship is a receipe for disaster and if you continue to enable him...nothing will change...
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Old 02-05-2012, 08:17 AM
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Originally Posted by Chino View Post
What is your best shot?
My best shot is to continue doing what I am doing now.

I have struggled with addiction for over 20 years. I am pretty familiar with it.

Being sober and in recovery from my drug addiction has provided me a lot of tools to assist with my recovery as a codie.

I have been keeping my boundaries that I have set with AB.
I have been doing things that make me happy and fullfilled.
I have been focusing on me and kids.
I have stopped expecting from my AB.
I have been making future plans for the kids and I.
I have been finding the joy and beauty in life again.
I have been working on my own drug addiction and addictive behaviors, so they don't raise their ugly heads again
I have been able to separate my recovery from AB's recovery.
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Old 02-05-2012, 08:21 AM
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Originally Posted by dollydo View Post
I would focus on your recovery,yours is your responsibility and his is his. Will this time be the "It" for him...who knows, all I know is that two unhealthy people in a relationship is a receipe for disaster and if you continue to enable him...nothing will change...
That is what I have been doing since November. I have been focusing on my recovery. No one is perfect and I slip at times. But I quickly pick myself up and return to my side.

It hasn't been easy. As since I have been focusing on myself, AB's addiction and use has been getting worse.

Whether AB takes advantage of the help offered, is up to him. But I have my boundaries.... and I have been sticking to them.
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