Update from my household...
 

AD has now been here a week. I'm standing firm with my boundaries. She does all the housework, cooks the meals, washes the dishes, does all laundry. I take care of my own bedroom and the cats' room. She's helping me with things like stuff that has been too heavy for me to lift.

She has tried pushing me a few times and I've made it crystal clear that if she does not like my boundaries and the way my household is run, there is the front door and she can leave.

I had not set a move-out date when she first came as I knew she was going to be meeting with a lady from the department of corrections who specializes in helping convicted felons find jobs. She was a very nice lady, and I asked her what would be a "reasonable" amount of time in order for AD to find a job and other living arrangements. We agreed that 90 days total was the maximum limit for me to house AD, and if she isn't on her feet by then, that's too bad. She will be out my door.

That 90 days is contingent on her continuing to stay within my boundaries. I have told her that anything she might pull as far as crossing my boundaries will get her put out immediately. I am not obligated to stick to that 90 day goal. It's all up to her and what efforts she puts forth.

We've had some issues come up, like how often she wants her children here, and I address the issues as soon as they come up. I am delighted to see my grandchildren more, but I told her I would be willing to have them here every other weekend. She was pushing for every weekend.

I like my quiet time. I like my living my life as I see fit. I am not changing my life around for her. She either adapts here, or goes elsewhere.

I saw my therapist earlier this week, and she was pleased at how upbeat I was given the situation, and thought I was doing very well as far as boundaries and sticking to them. :)

I have Alanon again tomorrow evening, and I'm hoping if we get enough regular attendees, perhaps we can meet more than once again. I also have my AA meetings.

First thing in the mornings I read my daily meditations, and I pray. I feel solid in my own program of recovery, and am so grateful for the recovering people who have been where I am, show me the way and taught me how to handle things like this.

I continue to read SR daily, and respond to a few posts. I appreciate everything I've learned from each of you too here at SR! :)

Great! Sounds like you are doing all the right things. I hope it all works out and she is able to find work and get a place of her own. I know how hard it is to have someone move in after you've had the place to yourself. I'm sure it's not loads of fun for her, either, but it is a place to live, so she should be grateful.

((DeVon))) - So glad you are holding strong to your boundaries and have to admit - sounds a lot better than I thought she would be doing.

Love, hugs, and prayers,

Amy

That looks really healthy to me! Thank you for sharing your experience, strength, hope and faith :)

You are being more than fair, and I am glad it seems to be working for both of you.

I am surprised sometimes how "entitled" our kids may feel, I know my son always seemed to feel like it was my duty to put up with his antics no matter what. I think we teach them an important lesson when we hold to strong boundaries. Life doesn't have to be fair, you just need to abide by the rules.

Hugs to you for inspiring us all, DeVon.

Thank you, DeVon, very, very much for the update! Such strength!!

Awesome...You sound great and I am happy things are working out. Thanks for sharing a real time example of recovery in action. :hug: