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How do you tell someone they need to go to rehab???

Old 01-23-2012, 07:52 PM
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How do you tell someone they need to go to rehab???

Can anyone tell me the best way to tell someone they need to go to rehab??? Do you gather up all the family and friends to confront the person? Please let me know which approach worked well for you.
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Old 01-23-2012, 08:12 PM
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(((Sister))) - I never went to rehab. I do know that my dad begged, pleaded and offered to pay for me to go but I wasn't ready. In all honesty, I could have gone to a free rehab at the place I'd gone to treatment to (when I was abusing opiates, BEFORE I discovered crack).

I'm sure others will be along with their ES&H, but for me? Short of physically restraining me and making me go, I wasn't going. I was perfectly content with what I was doing, though a part of me knew it was wrong. It wasn't until a few stints in jail, getting a little clean time, and then a relapse which put me at risk for prison that I was ready to "consider" getting clean.

I've heard it said (and have probably said it myself) that rehab doesn't work unless the person is ready for recovery. After the years I've been here, I'm leaning more toward the fact that, though it may not work that time, it may still plant the seeds of recovery.

Just know rehab isn't a cure. It's simply a step in the right direction, but there is a lot of work involved when the A gets back into the real world, and they truly do have to want recovery more than anything else.

Hugs and prayers,

Amy
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Old 01-23-2012, 09:42 PM
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How do we tell someone to lose weight?
How do we tell someone to quit smoking?
How do we tell someone to .......

Rehab does not cure addiction. At best, it may present an opportunity for a highly motivated guest to learn some of the tools of recovery. Then the hard part starts, actually using those tools in the real world.

I manipulated my daughter into 3 back to back rehabs. She relapsed within hours of returning home. She eventual decided to get done with drugs and did it her way in her timeframe. I have read thousands of posts on these forums written by people with serious clean time under their belts. And much to my initial surprise, most of them got and stayed clean without the benefit of rehab. Some used AA or NA. Some got therapy. Some used non 12 step based programs. Some prayed. An some just seemed to white knuckled it without any professional or peer group support. It struck me then as it does now, that these warriers have something in common- an unshakable inner drive to stay off the junk, no matter what. Each of them changed the course of their own life when they alone decided they were done.
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Old 01-23-2012, 09:48 PM
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Ok, I get it. Here's where I'm going with this. I wanted AS to go to rehab and give up custody of her 3yr old who is showing signs of abuse. CPS is not helping so far. I guess we should just go straight to court and fight for custody??
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Old 01-23-2012, 10:09 PM
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Originally Posted by Sister77 View Post
Can anyone tell me the best way to tell someone they need to go to rehab??? Do you gather up all the family and friends to confront the person? Please let me know which approach worked well for you.
The way it worked for me on three occasions of addicts, son and husbands, was to get to the point that I realized I was an enabler. I tried to get them out of trouble,jail, re-buy the stolen items from my house, pay to keep them from going to jail. These things only make it easier for them and they are using and conning us when this happens. Usually when we get to the point that we can't take it anymore is when they realize they need help and can't get us to rescue them so they seek help elsewhere. Most are in denial and have no desire to quit and even if they try it is hard. Tough Love is what they should receive from us and that is an eye opener to them. Realize this is for their own good.
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Old 01-23-2012, 10:25 PM
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We are so done with her!!... She can do whatever she wants but we are concerned for her 3 yr old who we are desperately trying help but CPS is still "assessing" the situation!!!.. I was hoping that if an addict agrees to go to rehab then they'd have to give up custody. Wishful thinking on my part
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Old 01-23-2012, 11:48 PM
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((Sister))) - I understand your frustration as there is an innocent child to consider. It would be NICE if the child's mom admitted her problems, sought help (thus making it known to "the system") but it doesn't always happen that way.

I continue to pray for the safety of this child, for you, and everyone involved.

Hugs and prayers,

Amy
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Old 01-24-2012, 02:17 AM
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I hope continue to do all you can for the 3 year old who has no voice.
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Old 01-24-2012, 04:05 PM
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Originally Posted by anvilhead View Post
actually her going to rehab may hamper any efforts to get custody of the child as courts are often way to willing to see any shots at rehab/sobriety as a sign that the danger is passed. that's just my two cents. i commend you for putting that little one at the top of list and i hope and pray that a positive safe outcome is at hand.
Good point...nope we have given up on the idea of asking her to go to rehab. I already did that once with no reply. We're going to get evidence even if we have to hire a Private investigator.
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Old 01-25-2012, 07:03 PM
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SOOOO sorry to see this. Last update I had read was when things were sounding good on your other thread. When I saw this I went back to that thread and read the follow up after the initial hospital eval. I am so sorry things looked hopeful and then took a negative turn. Keep persistent on the reports you have already made and the investigation. Though the hospital eval didn't end up being a quick fix, hopefully CPS requested the documentation from the doctor and social worker who saw your nephew there and felt there were signs of abuse. Keep documenting anything you see and sending to CPS. Best wishes.
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Old 01-29-2012, 11:18 AM
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Originally Posted by useyourwords View Post
SOOOO sorry to see this. Last update I had read was when things were sounding good on your other thread. When I saw this I went back to that thread and read the follow up after the initial hospital eval. I am so sorry things looked hopeful and then took a negative turn. Keep persistent on the reports you have already made and the investigation. Though the hospital eval didn't end up being a quick fix, hopefully CPS requested the documentation from the doctor and social worker who saw your nephew there and felt there were signs of abuse. Keep documenting anything you see and sending to CPS. Best wishes.
Yes, it is very frustrating. We were sooo hopeful and now we just feel helpless. We even hired a PI to go check things our for us but even he said the situation is very difficult and the area is filled with drug dealers and it's quite dangerous. But, we'll keep trying and hopefully our friend will come around and talk to CPS.
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