Jail
 

2 weeks out of rehab, relapse and now jail, last night i got a call i new something had happened actually i thought he was dead, something about robbery and assault and now he is in jail with his friend, last night i prepared myself for his death when i woke up i had the worst headache of my life and now im just pi*** off, now way in hell am i posting bail this time he is going to face his consquences, i have tried i have paid lawyers, i have clenaed his record i got him to rehab, why am i pushing someone to have a normal life when clearly this is his life, he likes drugs, he likes the life that comes with it, my son is a criminal period....he likes it no matter if he feels bad now that hes in jail this time he is going to learn a hard lesson that this is what happens to criminals and drug addicts, these are the things that happen when you dont wake up and actually want to change all on your own. who am i to judge and control someone so i say go ahead, full steam ahead go find your bottom

Well, there ya go! Looks like you may have found yours. :)

I am sorry. I am glad you are dealing with this as well as you can, stay strong.

I am so sorry, too. Please take care of yourself today.

Sometimes when we step back they learn the hard way what they don't want.

When my son was in jail last [2 weeks ago] a preacher came to the jail, and is now helping him work through his addiction.


Stay strong, I know how hard this is. sending strength and prayers.

Lonestar, this is the bottom. Believe me as I have been there. Don't bail him out. He will choose. My son was in jail for 4 months for Grand Theft (stealing from us) and now in a court ordered rehab and 3 years probation as a first offense. He will have to find a job and work on where he wants to live when he leaves rehab. I love him with all my heart, and I pray daily he decides to stay clean. You must get out of the way and let go for any HP influence.
Hugs and prayers to you and your family,
Teresa

While it's true that sometimes jail time can be the catalyst for an addict to straighten out their life, it doesn't always happen that way. Many people have been in jail multiple times and/or been in the hospital multiple times, due to their addiction, but still kept using. No one can determine what is the bottom for anyone other than themselves.

That's it, allow him the dignity to handle his issues on his own...just as adults should do.

Trust the HP, continue to work on you.

Sending hugs and support your way.

It's always hard for me to read these posts from mothers who are so distraught at the life their adult children are living. Crime. Drugs. Addiction. Jail. Beatings. Guns.

But sometimes these things are what finally give us the strength to let go and turn our sons and daughters over to their higher power.

I understand. You are not alone. I am on the quest to live my life to its fullest the way I want to and find joy. Wanna come with me?

gentle hugs
ke

Thank you all so much for the support, tommorow is his arraignment but i have already spoken to him on the phone and told him i will not be posting bail, in fact i will be letting the court know that he is a drug addict as well thats about all i can do . I do so desperately want to have my life back , the one where I laughed and felt good everything has been doom and gloom and altough i understand this may not be his bottom he sure is on his way what i have decided is that im not letting him take the rest of us with him, so yes kindeyes I do want to come with you

Count me in, too.

Lonelystar...I sure do understand wanting your life back. I too noticed how my exabfs addiction(s) had affected me, I lost my laughter, my sense of humor totally disappeared.

Today, I am in a good place, I smile, I laugh, I enjoy life! You too can get to that place,
continue your journey to a healthier, happier place.

Lonely Star:

I only wish mine would be in jail right now. At least it would save me from throwing them out. (I still like to take the coward's way out...working on this with a therapist).

I was angry too, then try to calm down so I could concentrate on letting go. When I stumble back into the anger/control game, I read, read, read about addictions and codependency so I can go "derail" my thoughts.

This board has helped me inch my way towards acceptance. It's not 100%, but I've come a long way from thinking I could hold my little family in some safe corner. I now, at least face the fact that I have a severly dysfuctional family unit and I need to be the one to get out. At present, you guys are my family.

I'm so sorry we have to all go through this. The death of my spouse wasn't half as bad as the slow little deaths of my adult children living in addictions with all of it's dysfunctional behaviors,

Prayers are with you,
Hope

You said: "these are the things that happen when you dont wake up and actually want to change all on your own."

A very true statement....and sometimes these things are what is needed in order to wake up.

Update,

can you believe they let him out without bail, god had a sense of humour ill tell you that much just when i got the courage to not make one move to help, hmmmm, so i see that it is all out of my hands and whatever is happening now is happening for a reason and so i feel good , letting go at least for a little feels amazing , hope i can keep it up.

I was waiting and thinking of your/son's story. You did all you could do. I will keep both of you in my thoughts.