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My life is unmanageable

Old 01-20-2012, 03:45 PM
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My life is unmanageable

This is my first time on this website. I came here because I am helpless and i feel like no one is listening to me. My little sister who is almost 33 has been on a steady decline. I know that she started out doing Oxycotten ( spelling) but its not just her i mourn she has 2 children, ages 12 (girl) and 5 (boy). They have lost thier jobs, cars, anything of value, etc now they are homeless for the 2nd time in one year. They did get some housing that was only 190.00 a month for a nice 3 bedroom 2 bath town house but since the charity had strict rules on fighting, no drug use etc they lost it. They are now staying in a hotel room that my mother and father have paid for each week. (bills up to 1000$ and its only been a month) I dont know what drugs they are on. I have my neice full time but they wont let my nephew stay with us for some reason. I have tried in the past 4 years to be helpful without giving them money, whether its groceries, toilet paper, taking the kids to do fun stuff they dont ever get to do but today my daughter dropped off my nephews inhaler at the hotel and my nephew answered the door. No adult in site but another little boy. My brother in law called out from the bathroom " thanks for bringing that down" but no one else was there. They had gotten some money today and I really worry about them doing drugs in front of my nephew. He has really bad asthma , really bad. I feel helpless and i dont know what to do. How much lower do they have to go...
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Old 01-21-2012, 06:10 AM
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Welcome ((Arcira36)), Sorry for what brings you here.

Read the stickies above and other posts. The first thing you will learn is we are powerless over the Addict and the disease.

I would also recommend you and your parents attend some Nar-anon meetings. The A all have there own bottom to hit and only they know where that is. I want you to know that any monies spent on them (re: rent, groceries, etc...) only allows them to spend what ever else on the drugs. All you can offer is support, advice, and love. It affects the whole family.

I am sorry there are children involved, maybe someone can offer to take the kids in till they can get there lives back together, and seek help. [That would be better to do than your parents paying rent.]

Keep reading and posting. There will be others along soon with more advice and help.

Sending strength and prayers.
Your not alone....
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Old 01-21-2012, 07:46 AM
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Welcome to SR. This is a great place for support to help you cope with the complexities and confusion of addiction in the family. It is always particularly difficult when there are children involved.

Personally I tried just about anything and everything to get my AS to realize that his addiction was a problem. We tried intervention, in patient, out patient, begging, pleading, threatening, ultimatums, you name it. I finally had to admit that MY life had become unmanageable as I tried desperately to control his life.

I hope you stick around. Read. Post. Learn. But most importantly know that you are not alone in facing this cunning and baffling disease.

Gentle hugs
ke
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Old 01-21-2012, 10:12 AM
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Is CPS involved?

Addicts are not competent to parent.
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Old 01-21-2012, 11:02 AM
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I feel for you. I am in the same boat. My AS is 32 and has a 3yr old. We took him
To the hospital to get evaluated, told them the situation and now we have some hope that he will be rescued. We have called CPS in the past with no results. I highly recommend getting the doctors to evaluate the children. My nephew was showing signs of psychological and emotional abuse. Please be the voice for your niece and nephew.
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Old 01-21-2012, 11:51 AM
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sorry to hear what your going through i ask myself the same question unfortunately dont have an answer either when innocent kids are involved that is just a tragedy sending you my prayers
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Old 01-22-2012, 05:20 PM
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Acira:

Welcome to our family.

Pat yourself on the back for reaching out. It took me many, many years to even do that.

It's tough when children are involved and sometimes we have to watch until someone who has authoritative power stop their madness. CPS was no help to me when I called about my grandaughter...said if there was no actual physical abuse, nothing could be done.

Keep in close contact with the children, if you can. They desperately need to know someone out their cares about them. In the meantime it helps to read about this disease process and start understanding why this is happening, so you don't get sucked into thier manipulations.

Prayers are with you,
Hope
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Old 01-22-2012, 05:44 PM
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OMG please, please call CPS. If your sister wants to ruin her life, fine, but innocent children? No way.
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Old 01-22-2012, 06:52 PM
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Originally Posted by keltie View Post
OMG please, please call CPS. If your sister wants to ruin her life, fine, but innocent children? No way.

YES...Please Call CPS- or just take them to the hospital to be evaluated. That seems to get the authorities attention!!
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