Validating feelings. . .(even for a 7 yr old)
 

My sweet sunshine, (our granddaughter) is growing up so much, really doing well in her emotional and mental recovery - but she does have set backs

She had a bad dream last nite about her Aunt on her mom's side of the family ~ she remembered quite a bit about the dream - she relayed the dream to me on the way to work. she talked about how it didn't quite all make sense, (you know like dreams rarely do) how once she was at school, but then it was like a hospital, she went into class, but then it was a hospital room, ~ her aunt was there in a bed and her grandma and everyone was crying. . .

She said she knew something was wrong, but that I brought her there to see her Aunt.

She said "ReeRee i could just feel everybody was sad" and then our little granddaughter just started to cry lots of tears. . .


Part of me wanted to tell her ~ it's just a dream, nothing was going to happen and forget about it; but you can't tell that to someone who's Mom died when she was 4, she already knows horrible things CAN happen ~ and besides that wouldn't that be discounting her feelings and no one wants that right?

So I knelt down and hugged her, I said "I hate that when I have dreams like that! They feel so real to me." She said "Ree, do you have dreams like that?"

Well she doesn't full understand about my past, about the abusive marriage I had before her so I didn't want to go into detail with those nightmares that I still have sometimes - so I told her

" Yes, I have a dream sometimes that I am trapped somewhere and people won't let me get back to you and PawPaw."
She said "why won't they?"
me "I don't know"
She said "we would come get you!!"
I laugh "I know y'all would - I would always make my way back to you & PawPaw too"

so we talked more and decided we would call her Aunt & Grandma this afternoon when I got off work so she could talk to them ~ geez didn't want to call them ar 4:30 am - lol

Thank you recovery, thank you meetings, and thank you SR family for teaching me about validating feelings, so that I can pass it on to this precious little one so she can try to recovery from the emotional blows she has walked thru at such an early age!

Whether it's a dream or real life ~ we all have emotions that probably need to be faced ~ for me processing them in a healthy way keeps me Happy, Joyous and PINKfully free!

PINK HUGS to all,
Rita

I am so glad that she has you Rita. children are the most beautiful things in the world. and their wellbeing the most precious and important.

hugs hugs hugs

Thanks for this important reminder.

Even as an adult, I use to have difficulty identifying feelings much less validating them! I now know that if I am feeling uncomfortable for any reason, I need to stop and identify what I am feeling and why. This is an important thing to teach young ones--whether they have addicted adults in their life or not.

Thanks Rita!

gentle hugs
ke

Such a great reminder and so important. Thanks for sharing!

It's so wonderful that she has someone in her life that talks to her the way you do.
You handled that so perfectly.

(((Rita))) - I know you have trouble, sometimes, hearing about how lucky/blessed ((Kaleigh)) is to have you and ((Mr.Pink)) and I understand - it's hard to think of "luck" with all she's been through.

However, I do believe that you are ALL blessed with each other. Not only are you and ((Mr.Pink)) able to help her deal with stuff, she is somewhat forcing you two to deal with it all, too. I know it's not easy and ya'll have emotions she doesn't quite understand, but she's been there for you through your dad's death, ((Ash)) getting locked up.

You're a family with addiction all around you, but the three of you are getting through it. I have no doubt your recovery has a ripple effect on them.

Love, hugs, and prayers,

Amy

What wonderful gifts you are giving your granddaughter, Rita! :hug:

I wanted to give my SR friends a great update ~

found out this weekend our Kaileigh is Student of the Month for the 2nd graders at her school!!

wahooo ~

I know to some this may not be much but a year ago when she came to live with us we had a fight & tears almost every morning about not wanting to go to school, not wanting to ride the bus, not wanting to do homework, not participating in class . . .

According to everyone, she has one of the strictest teachers and Kaileigh just loves her ~ she is doing wonderful in school, making honor roll and although like most children - she still occasionally doesn't want to go to school - but for the most part she loves it and has a great time.

Thanks again everyone for your support!

PINK HUGS,
Rita