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My brother is stealing meds, i just need someone to listen.

Old 01-10-2012, 07:37 PM
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My brother is stealing meds, i just need someone to listen.

I don't know if this is the right place for this but i'm just really upset and i feel like i need to get it out there and have someone listen or i'm going to explode!

So I have been on prescription pain killers for several years. I am only 24 but i have some serious issues with my back. I have several herniated disks, stenosis, sciatica and several other problems. I went through months of painful testing, MRI's blood tests, Xrays, cat scans and dozens if not more doctor's appointments. So i was prescribed Vicodin and Tramadol for my pain.

Everything was fine and i was coping with the fact that i may need to be on these meds for a while until i could lose some weight, or find something else to better manage my pain. Well my family is having a rough patch, my mom has Lupus and she had her left leg amputated below the knee so being unemployed i take care of her, help her out, cook dinner, do dishes that kind of thing since it's hard for her to get around. She also has severe back problems and pain in her amputated leg so she too is on narcotic pain killers.

So my brother lost his job and had to move back home. Ever since i've noticed a few pills missing here and there, but nothing super substantial. I'd also heard my mom telling me he thought he saw my brother going through her purse while she was sleeping. I hesitated to bring it up because after all i had no solid proof and he tends to be a drama queen. Finally i came home and so many of my pills were missing that i wouldn't have enough for myself until my next refill. I asked if he had taken them and he flat out denied it and called me an @$$hole. He was the only one in the house, and every time they go missing, he's been alone for long periods of time in the house.

So i started hiding my bottles, which was a hassle because the point of having them is so i can move, and when i get up in the morning i'm often stiff and in a lot of pain so i'd have to walk across the room and fish out my hidden bottles. After a while i noticed pills had started to go missing again and again my brother denied it.

That was it i knew if i kept at it he'd just keep denying it and i'd just end up feeling bad because he plays the guilt trip. So i went online and i bought a lockbox with a key. That way i could keep the meds by my bedside and only i could access them. Well that was going fine for a week or two when i came home after a chiropracter's appointment and i found that someone had tried to jimmy the box open. It was blatantly obvious that someone had tried to pry it open. Again my mother and i were out and he was the only one home. I brought it up AGAIN and he denied it and stormed off.

I'm not an idiot, i know he is taking them. He has an addictive personality. He smokes ciggerettes, pot, drinks alcohol. I went through hell to get those meds, i am in a lot of pain while he is stealing my drugs so he can get high for a few hours. He complains that he hurts too but he's gone to doctors and they say there is nothing wrong.Ten he'll go around doing stuff like picking heavy things up, or running up and down the stairs with no problem. I am just so frustrated and angry. It's not that i think he's a hardcore addict, he doesn't have enough access to be completly addicted to it, he's not a junkie. He just steals it to get high.

Also, for the last year i've been seeing a chiropracter and she's helped me sooo much, i can actually see a time where i may not need pain killers. I've cut my doses significantly since then and i feel so much better. I'd love nothing more than to get off of these meds and it bewilders me that my brother is taking them willingly.

Also if anyone has any tips on keeping people out of your stuff, or cheap/easy /simple ways of telling if someone has been in your stuff feel free to share. Thanks for listening!

Last edited by SinisterSibling; 01-10-2012 at 07:40 PM. Reason: added paragraph
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Old 01-10-2012, 08:00 PM
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I'm so sorry you are dealing with this. Can you put a lock on your bedroom door, get another lock box with a sturdier lock and hide it whenever you go out? You could keep it on your bedside table at night so you could access it easily in the morning, but then hide the box whenever you are going to be out. That's about the only thing I can think of to do if your parents aren't willing to make him leave. Again, sorry you're dealing with this and good luck getting to a point where you don't need the meds!
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Old 01-10-2012, 08:05 PM
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Thanks suki, i may have to start putting the box away when i go out, it sucks that i have to worry about it in the first place. I looked into getting a lock but i'd have to drill a hole in the door and the house is over 150 years old and the door locks are about as sophisticated. They use old skeleton keys and i already know my brother can open them as i've seen him open my dad's locked door.
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Old 01-10-2012, 08:11 PM
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Well, get creative with your hiding places.

I guess you could always take the box with you if you go out. Put it in your trunk or something but that seems like a hassle. However, if you want to keep him out of your meds, you're going to have to come up with something. Maybe someone else will come along with some better suggestions. Again, good luck!
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Old 01-10-2012, 08:23 PM
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I am so sorry for what you have gone through and have been there with the stealing -- both money and meds. I agree with the suggestion to try to protect your items as suki suggests, but the reality in my experience is that an addict will find a way to steal. And they will lie and lie and lie . . . as others have said here, you can be looking at a blue sky and an addict will swear up and down that its orange, to the point that you question yourself. I hate to sound a pessimist, but the stealing and lying will only continue as long as you live in the same space. Protect yourself, but know it will be an uphill battle! I would also recommend looking into meetings in your area -naranon or alanon - for you and your mom. Best wishes!
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Old 01-10-2012, 08:27 PM
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If you are looking for more protective options, a good safe might be a better option. Also, if you have a friend or neighbors house where you could store all your extra and only have a small number of pills in your own home at any given time this might help. Sorry, that may sound extreme or paranoid, but I just know how resourceful my AS was . . .
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Old 01-10-2012, 08:33 PM
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Yea the lockbox isn't exactly the most secure thing but i figured if someone tried to break it open it'd be blatantly obvious and that would stop them from doing it. I'm not even certain if he got it open or not. Money is pretty tight, and spending $25 was already more than i could afford. I've also been keeping my mom's medications in the lock box since she knows i won't take any.

As for the neighbor thing, the only neighbors we're slightly close to live next door but the mother is an alcoholic and the daughter was having drug problems of her own. Last i heard she'd emptied her mother's bank account to buy drugs. Possibly even less safe than my own home, lol.

I've hidden the box again, but in a way i should be able to get to it, but it isn't instantly visible. I think a good modern door lock would my best bet. I'd have to look into it.
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Old 01-11-2012, 07:33 AM
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Stealing pills is a sign of a serious addiction. When there is addiction in the house it becomes necessary to protect valuables, money, checkbooks, banking and credit card information and of course, medications.

So many here keep their medications on themselves at all times rather than risk loosing them. And yeah, carrying one's purse from room to room is all too common around here.
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Old 01-11-2012, 08:57 AM
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Originally Posted by cynical one View Post
Hide your pain pills and put laxatives in the prescription bottle and see what happens.
lol, I've contemplated this one for a while but he's knows what they are supposed to look like. I'd have to see if i could get ones that look similar or make him believe they changed the look of the pill.
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Old 01-11-2012, 09:14 AM
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Originally Posted by cynical one View Post
Hide your pain pills and put laxatives in the prescription bottle and see what happens.
Hysterical! I almost peed myself reading this post.
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Old 01-11-2012, 09:23 AM
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I'm just curious. How old is your brother, and what is he doing in regard to finding another job?
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Old 01-11-2012, 09:23 AM
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Where's Ann ? She has a terrific switcheroo story.
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Old 01-11-2012, 10:20 AM
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Originally Posted by Freedom1990 View Post
I'm just curious. How old is your brother, and what is he doing in regard to finding another job?
He will be 26 in march. He's put in some applications but he doesn't really seem to be trying very hard. He's said several times that he won't work at even like a fast food place because he would "probably end up punching someone"
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Old 01-11-2012, 11:22 AM
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How about getting one of those nanny cams. He'll still steal and lie about it even if you show video of him doing it. But it will convince others: your mom, other siblings, doctors, the police...
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Old 01-11-2012, 12:04 PM
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Clean the exterior of the lock box you have very carefully. Use some throwaway gloves to put your medications and your moms in the lock box, right before you two leave to go somewhere.

Upon return, if the lock box has been moved or broken into, call the POLICE. Tell them what is going on, tell them you want to press charges, and they will check the box for fingerprints. File the complaint.

It will be the CONSEQUENCES of his ACTIONS when he is arrested.

You are not doing him any 'favors' by not reporting it.

J M H O

Love and hugs,
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Old 01-11-2012, 06:58 PM
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Originally Posted by TiredandSpent View Post
How about getting one of those nanny cams. He'll still steal and lie about it even if you show video of him doing it. But it will convince others: your mom, other siblings, doctors, the police...
Yea i've thought about that. I was thinking of setting up my web cam to record when i go out of the house but atm the only webcam i have is built into my laptop and it looks kind of suspicious if i leave it open. If i could get one for my desktop it would be easy to just logout and have the cam recording because i leave my desktop on all the time.
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