ctg492

I am trying to stay causley hopeful on my son's recovery. No blinders on anymore. I read and read, I have attended the family meetings at the rehab, every story or lecture or meeting or some guest speaker brings up thier loved one's relapses. I actually leave feeling worse then when I went in Knowing that everyone seems to go through it.
SO has anyone of your loved ones NOT relapsed?

Tron

It is possible.. But who really knows what will happen.. Have you yourself never fallen into temptation you knew would have negative outcomes? It's about being strong and staying motivated... And as a parent all you can do is let them come to you and just always be there to be supportive no matter if he does relapse or not.. Because even during relapse.. We are all still trying

Freedom1990

No, everyone does not go through it. I've had 4 sponsors with long-term recovery, none of them with a single relapse.

PaperDolls

It's common for an alcoholic or addict to relapse when beginning their journey but it's not set in stone. My father has been sober for 39 years without a relapse.

outtolunch

It is common knowledge that a majority of those in rehab /treatment relapse. I have read some reports that suggest the relapse number is 95- 98%. Now let's consider the basis of these numbers:

Most who achieve long-term sobriety were never guests in a rehab/ treatment facility so there is no way to track the majority.

Few rehab/treatment facilities attempt to track former guests.
Those that do, do so for a limited period, making phone contact with the former guest and base their information on what the former guest tells them, assuming they can make contact.

My daughter did back to back stints in three rehabs. Only one made contact with her following her release and they did so with some regularity. My daughter lied to them.

There are some older independent , usually univeristy based, studies that I think became the basis for the theory that relapse is most likely to occur within 5 years. Again, the information was based upon what the researchers we told, not actual day to day observation or testing.

What matters is how your son will do and that's entirely up to him.

laurie6781

First of all it is NOT necessarily that 'common.'

What is happening is that because of the internet, because of more information out there, many are being 'pushed' into a rehab, or forced by the courts, or 'wondering' sooner, without having reached anything near a 'bottom' for themselves. So yep, more relapses.

Relapses are part of ADDICTION not a part of RECOVERY.

I took my disease to the MAX and as many know my story, I did DIE trying to get sober. For some reason I was given a SECOND CHANCE.

That was over 30 years ago.

I have many sponsees over the years, and I can say with a certainty that 97% of them have never relapsed to this date. None of them went to rehab. I also have many sober friends that have never relapsed.

So, even though you are hearing the 'war stories', remember that part of their A's going to REHAB may have been pushed by them or family members and the only reason the A went was to get those folks off their back.

You are here to work on you not on your A.

Love and hugs,

useyourwords

I guess the question this brings up for me is, why does it matter? Some people relapse. Some people don't. Your son may or may not. But all you can control is you! If we spend our time worrying about whether or not our RA loved ones will relapse, we don't appreciate the NOW. We can't deny it can (even might) happen, but it is nothing but a waste of precious time and precious energy if that is what we dwell on. At least, that has been my experience.

I found this site after my sister had a relapse. She got clean after nearly 10 years, used once, and when straight back to treatment/recovery and has been clean again since. After the 10 years of h*ll we went through because of her addiction, it should have been a blip on the radar. Yet it totally threw off my world. I had come to terms with her addiction and had found my recovery years ago. I was in a good place. Honestly, it took her relapse for me to realize that I had lost sight of myself and needed to start "working" again. Every day might be the last day of her sobriety. All I can do is say a prayer, keep working on myself, and appreciate the sober time we have together TODAY. No more. No less.

Good luck to you and your son!!!!

oneday66

As others have pointed out.. The lifelong possobility of relapse is a great indicator of how you/we as codependants are doing with OUR recovery.

Its an individual case by case issue that is always there. I dont read rehab success rates anymore. My husband went to rehab 8 years ago. He was completely clean from everything, including alcohol, for 2 years. He would have been counted as a rehab success. He then started drinking socially....got a 6 figure job, a lexus, a home... He is now on a five day crack bender.

izeywoot

Relapse is impossible if he works hard for it but more importantly, we shouldn't be worrying about it and learn to not let things get the best of us. Relapse is always going to hit us hard, whether it happens or not.