Today....
Member
Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 951
I'm finding these posts downright hostile and disturbing
KelleyF, if you have found all the answers in your short time of dealing with a loved one with addiction, more power to you but why on earth are you here posting?
Attacking people that are trying to help you is typical for someone that isn't getting the affirmation they want while on a path that others have seen lead to no good, time and time again.
Sorry folks here seem unwilling to co-sign your ********, but lashing out like this isn't going to change anyone's perspective about the situation.
Originally Posted by KelleyF 
So your guy was sneaky too....they must all be sneaky with the drugs.
How long did it take you to find out he had relapsed ?
Just curious - did he ever turn on you with those dark, dead eyes?
How long did it take you to find out he had relapsed ?
Just curious - did he ever turn on you with those dark, dead eyes?
Originally Posted by KelleyF
And now a questions for you Bucyn:
Why do you think a person has to be 'sick' in order to love a person dealing with an addiction, especially when they are seeking treatment ?
Is that the way you feel about yourself perhaps?
Whats your story Bucyn?
Did someone break your heart, drain your bank account, shatter your hopes and dreams? Are you still angry with them because you feel victimized?
Why do you think a person has to be 'sick' in order to love a person dealing with an addiction, especially when they are seeking treatment ?
Is that the way you feel about yourself perhaps?
Whats your story Bucyn?
Did someone break your heart, drain your bank account, shatter your hopes and dreams? Are you still angry with them because you feel victimized?
Originally Posted by KelleyF
And now a question for you Bucyn;
What did you do this evening ?
Were you happy?
Were you with someone that you love?
If not, why not? Is it because you are afraid?
Is it because you are a codependant and you chase everyone away?
Is it because you are afraid of livng life?
Afraid of getting hurt?
What do you think will happen to you if you get hurt?
Will you break?
Or will you get back up and carry on?
What did you do this evening ?
Were you happy?
Were you with someone that you love?
If not, why not? Is it because you are afraid?
Is it because you are a codependant and you chase everyone away?
Is it because you are afraid of livng life?
Afraid of getting hurt?
What do you think will happen to you if you get hurt?
Will you break?
Or will you get back up and carry on?
Attacking people that are trying to help you is typical for someone that isn't getting the affirmation they want while on a path that others have seen lead to no good, time and time again.
Sorry folks here seem unwilling to co-sign your ********, but lashing out like this isn't going to change anyone's perspective about the situation.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 445
Originally Posted by Hanna
I'm finding these posts downright hostile and disturbing
KelleyF, if you have found all the answers in your short time of dealing with a loved one with addiction, more power to you but why on earth are you here posting?
Attacking people that are trying to help you is typical for someone that isn't getting the affirmation they want while on a path that others have seen lead to no good, time and time again.
Sorry folks here seem unwilling to co-sign your ********, but lashing out like this isn't going to change anyone's perspective about the situation.
KelleyF, if you have found all the answers in your short time of dealing with a loved one with addiction, more power to you but why on earth are you here posting?
Attacking people that are trying to help you is typical for someone that isn't getting the affirmation they want while on a path that others have seen lead to no good, time and time again.
Sorry folks here seem unwilling to co-sign your ********, but lashing out like this isn't going to change anyone's perspective about the situation.
If Im told with certainty that I do not love my BF that instead I have some other need that being satisfied...I want to know how they know this.
When a person takes the time to reply to me with such convictions, then why is it wrong for me to ask their motivations for their feelings?
What I sense is a lot of unresolved anger and feelings of being victimized.
That is hard for some people to admit I think, and the result is they get angry for my asking the question.
I remember your first note to me Hanna...you said if I did care about my BF then I would leave him because he didnt need to be with me, he needed to work his 12 step program, have a sponsor, and spend his time with recovering addicts. Otherwise it was hopeless basically
Other than quoting the beliefs of the 12 steps; what was your personal experience ....of this suggestion that you so strongly gave me.
Maybe if people would explain their story instead of just quoting from principles they adhere to based on a program that I dont embrace- then I could understand .
Is that to much to ask of this forum?
Member
Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 951
That's not actually what I said, though I did suggest you back off, when you explained that you railroaded him into a relationship after he repeatedly told you he wasn't ready for a relationship and he needed to work on his own life.
It seems you've decided that any advice being 12 Step related is enough reason to shut people down that aren't telling you what you want to hear, but my advice wasn't 12 Step based at all. Did I quote something 12 step related? That would be kind of strange since I'm not working them myself. That's just one road to recovery as far as I am concerned and I'm very much in favor of whatever works for each individual. But it is interesting that your only experience with 12 step programs seems to be that an addict told you it isn't an avenue they are willing to explore.
And frankly after reading your responses to people that got into a dialogue I'm not interested in sharing anything personal. You seem to readily use that information against others if you don't want to hear what they are saying. Why should you listen if I'm not willing to share? That's up to you and no skin off my nose either way. You seem to have it all covered anyway.
It seems you've decided that any advice being 12 Step related is enough reason to shut people down that aren't telling you what you want to hear, but my advice wasn't 12 Step based at all. Did I quote something 12 step related? That would be kind of strange since I'm not working them myself. That's just one road to recovery as far as I am concerned and I'm very much in favor of whatever works for each individual. But it is interesting that your only experience with 12 step programs seems to be that an addict told you it isn't an avenue they are willing to explore.
And frankly after reading your responses to people that got into a dialogue I'm not interested in sharing anything personal. You seem to readily use that information against others if you don't want to hear what they are saying. Why should you listen if I'm not willing to share? That's up to you and no skin off my nose either way. You seem to have it all covered anyway.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 445
My original post in this thread was meant to share a positive experience in my life
I don't know why it stirred so much controversy
I was in good place then......and it was my first step in understanding that I can't fix his problems, and I really don't have to worry about it
I still feel that way; however I now feel even stronger that he can fix his problems; I've accepted their is no guarantee and I love him anyway
So basically that is that.*
Jut accept I'm happy; or get your joy in thinking I'm in denial and that one day I will see...*
Makes no difference to me
I have not meant to offend anyone's beliefs or recovery strategies. If it works for you, it works
I posted another thread called the wooly hat - again trying to share a positive experience; that one stirred up controversy also
It's like most of the people on this forum only want *to see the darkness and not the light...
But sometimes people the brightest light comes from the darkest places
And with that I'm done & I hope this thread is closed.
So ((Ann)) if you read this....please end it here*
I don't know why it stirred so much controversy
I was in good place then......and it was my first step in understanding that I can't fix his problems, and I really don't have to worry about it
I still feel that way; however I now feel even stronger that he can fix his problems; I've accepted their is no guarantee and I love him anyway
So basically that is that.*
Jut accept I'm happy; or get your joy in thinking I'm in denial and that one day I will see...*
Makes no difference to me
I have not meant to offend anyone's beliefs or recovery strategies. If it works for you, it works
I posted another thread called the wooly hat - again trying to share a positive experience; that one stirred up controversy also
It's like most of the people on this forum only want *to see the darkness and not the light...
But sometimes people the brightest light comes from the darkest places
And with that I'm done & I hope this thread is closed.
So ((Ann)) if you read this....please end it here*
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
I think this thread has run it's purpose here and I am now beginning to get complaints about the conflict and disrespect here, so I am closing this thread for now.
Let's all go welcome some newcomers who need support tonight, and share what helped us along the way.
Thank you all for your input and for your understanding.
Ann
Let's all go welcome some newcomers who need support tonight, and share what helped us along the way.
Thank you all for your input and for your understanding.
Ann
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
