lesliej

I found this over a year ago, and it was hard but important for me to read... it still holds a lot of meaning for me and wanted to share it.


"The more I practice detachment the more in touch I am with the actual love I feel. Before recovery- loving someone had a lot of strings attached- and those strings were attached to fear. When my loved ones did things that pulled those strings- they pulled my fear- not my love. Perhaps I am more selfish than others, but I know I love my family very much. However, when I WORRY (which to me is a big part of attachment) I worry about how I am going to survive- emotionally, mentally, sometimes even physically. The fears about what could actually happen to my loved ones was secondary- first was always the automatic and immense stress about what I would experience- devastation, grief, loss, abandonment, guilt, failure, and so on. Actually I think when I am not practicing detachment I experience all those emotions even when I am only imagining possible futures that may never happen. My love which is very real, drowns in my reactions to fear, and for some reason without that love the structure of my life seems to crumble.
Detachment sets that love free, and although the love I feel for my loved ones is the same as it was when I was attached, the love behaves differently. I react less because I have enough faith in myself and my HP and life in general to believe I will survive what happens next. I may not like it, but letting my fears govern who I am instead of the immense love I feel for my life and those in it is truly a waste of all that is good in me. I now love people enough to let them discover for themselves who they are."

aviatrix

Thanks, Leslie. That passage spoke to me, like it was written specifically for me. A huge thank you!

SuzyMarie

Really needed this today. Thanks for sharing!