Panda13

As most of you know lying comes with the addict like peanut butter and jelly come together. When my mom got out of rehab (sober for 4 years now) it took me a while to know if she had been drinking or not. Even when my ex got out of jail and started therapy and meetings it was hard to know what to believe. Everything was a big turn around...he was reliable, treated me like a bf should, doing what he needed to stay sober. I found out soon enough everything was a lie, he was using and he was hanging with his old addict friends.

Although I thought everything was ok and going well it was just a huge lie. Growing up the one thing I couldn't stand were liars. I had a lot of broken promises and it pretty much had me have major trust issues. That's why it's hard for me to make new friends because when I make a new friend I want to grow to trust them.

Since I've learned to let him go and start living my life without him, all I want for him is to be ok and eventually get treatment sooner than later. But even if he goes through treatment and months, years pass him being sober, will I ever know if he really is sober? Will I ever be able to believe anything he says? How will I know? Just something I've been thinking about for the past few days.

Any words of insight?

-Panda

tjp613

Well, one way you might be able to tell is when he comes to you wanting to make amends because he is working his 9th step!

barblsn

will I ever know if he really is sober? Will I ever be able to believe anything he says? How will I know?

I struggled with my husband's coke addiction for 10 years. I tried very hard to believe him during the good times, but they never lasted. I never was really sure he was clean when he said he was. I am sure now, because the last time he used was his last time, he had a heart attack and died during a drug binge this month.

And there is some relief in that, some peace. I will NEVER be with an addict again. It is no kind of life for me.