Having Hope For The Addict And Their Family
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Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Atlanta,GA
Posts: 38
Having Hope For The Addict And Their Family
Yesterday I called my addict ex-bf's mother to wish her happy holidays and that her and her husband are in my thoughts and prayers. His mother and I have grown close and have always enjoyed each other.
When she discovered her sons addictions she didn't know what to do so she'd asked for my mother's help on how to help him. (My mother is a recovering alcoholic, sober for almost 4 years) Once my mother heard and saw her desperation she gave her everything she'd learned from therapy, treatment, etc. etc.
After wishing his mother a happy Christmas, she told me that it was a shame that we wouldn't see each other as much since we'd broken up. Afterwards she wanted to ask me if I'd seen any changes in him, as if everything with him was like when he was using. Obviously he didn't tell her about his relapse so when I told her she appreciated the fact that I told her then. Remembering how desperate she was to get him the help he needed, she didn't deserve to hear another lie. Once I told her that he relapsed she of course was upset but she said that it shows my character and that she wants me to get happy, not worry about him, and to take care of myself. I almost cried when she said that, from happy and sadness.
My ex-bf called me to tell me Merry Christmas. He doesn't know the conversation his mother and I had. (She told me that she doesn't intend to tell him about the conversation) It was good to hear from him and he sounded ok. As some things are starting to click for him I know that he has a lot more s**t to work out, and how much he needs to focus on himself. I ended the conversation by telling him that I hope he has a good holiday, he's in my prayers, and that I hope he gets the help he needs whenever he chooses to get it.
This week has been quite the whirlwind with breaking up with my addict ex-bf, Christmas, taking care of myself, and starting a new stage of my life. The conversations I had with my ex and his mother were good and taking care of myself has felt great. As sad as I still am about the break up with all of the pain and sadness I knew that it was the right thing to do. This forum has made me realize that there's nothing more I could do for him and to start taking care of myself.
I'll just end this post by saying that I hope he'll want sobriety, I hope his mother will be ok, and I hope that every family that is dealing with an addict right now has a good Christmas and that their addict(s) will choose sobriety as well.
**Merry Christmas everyone**
When she discovered her sons addictions she didn't know what to do so she'd asked for my mother's help on how to help him. (My mother is a recovering alcoholic, sober for almost 4 years) Once my mother heard and saw her desperation she gave her everything she'd learned from therapy, treatment, etc. etc.
After wishing his mother a happy Christmas, she told me that it was a shame that we wouldn't see each other as much since we'd broken up. Afterwards she wanted to ask me if I'd seen any changes in him, as if everything with him was like when he was using. Obviously he didn't tell her about his relapse so when I told her she appreciated the fact that I told her then. Remembering how desperate she was to get him the help he needed, she didn't deserve to hear another lie. Once I told her that he relapsed she of course was upset but she said that it shows my character and that she wants me to get happy, not worry about him, and to take care of myself. I almost cried when she said that, from happy and sadness.
My ex-bf called me to tell me Merry Christmas. He doesn't know the conversation his mother and I had. (She told me that she doesn't intend to tell him about the conversation) It was good to hear from him and he sounded ok. As some things are starting to click for him I know that he has a lot more s**t to work out, and how much he needs to focus on himself. I ended the conversation by telling him that I hope he has a good holiday, he's in my prayers, and that I hope he gets the help he needs whenever he chooses to get it.
This week has been quite the whirlwind with breaking up with my addict ex-bf, Christmas, taking care of myself, and starting a new stage of my life. The conversations I had with my ex and his mother were good and taking care of myself has felt great. As sad as I still am about the break up with all of the pain and sadness I knew that it was the right thing to do. This forum has made me realize that there's nothing more I could do for him and to start taking care of myself.
I'll just end this post by saying that I hope he'll want sobriety, I hope his mother will be ok, and I hope that every family that is dealing with an addict right now has a good Christmas and that their addict(s) will choose sobriety as well.
**Merry Christmas everyone**
Member
Join Date: Nov 2011
Posts: 146
I'm glad you are doing better.
It's hard on mothers. Girlfriends and wives can get new significant others and new lives, but you can't get a new child.
It sounds like your conversation with her did you some good. Merry Christmas!
It's hard on mothers. Girlfriends and wives can get new significant others and new lives, but you can't get a new child.
It sounds like your conversation with her did you some good. Merry Christmas!
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