ctg492

My son is in 30+ day Rehab as of yesterday. Great place we were blessed as a family to get an emergency referal into. Amazing what a caring therapist could accomplish with a few calls to friends. He has been clean for 60+ days but started having mental issues caused by the addictions to Meth and everything else. He was started on a med to calm this two days ago and I could see it worked till it got close to the 24 hour mark when another pill was to be given at 6pm.
I feared a call last evening even though this was where he was so happy to go and understood it was where he needed to be. No call came. Then at 3pm the first call came asking when I was coming up state to see him. Since Christmas is tommorrow I will go, even though I know I should wait a while. No problems there and see you then he says. 5:45pm the second call came, DO you have any more meds from a doctor at home, could you bring them? I said No, all you had was what the Rehab was given. You have been taking that correct? Yes he says, never mind. I could tell it was near the 6pm med time and the anxity/mental issue was starting. I said You are in the best place and they will help you, Bye.
*****Question***** Should I take the phone calls when they come?? I am trying to hard and studing Disengaging/No Enabling. I am being so strong, It is hard you know.

Ann

Do what feels right for you, when it feels right for you. But do it with clear vision and not when you feel vulnerable, and not at expense that you cannot afford.

It always helped me to have an "exit" plan, whether it was for a phone call or a visit, I felt better when I knew I could exit quickly if I was uncomfortable of feeling pressured.

I know that it takes quite a long time to get back on track when recovering from meth use, longer than many other substances. Hopefully he will continue to get the help he needs to stay on a good path.

Merry Christmas, I hope it goes well for you.

Hugs

TiredandSpent

Dear heavens, YES it's hard.

I don't think there's a should or should not answer. I can see reason for both sides. No contact: he has to face this on his own and that's a good thing, it makes it harder for him to manipulate you. Contact: you kind of know what's going on with him and that might give you comfort.

Does it give you comfort? Does it hurt him? I suppose those are the things to consider.

But whatever you decide, you are right this is very very hard.

lonelystar

I can understand where your coming from, my son is 2 weeks in and the first week i got phone calls to bring him back home only to wait 30 minutes to have him totally change his mind, its like a roller coaster , now he calls to tell me hes determined to finish up the 30 days. So yeah if things get a little heated between us on the phone i tell him I have to go and for him to call me another time, when i do talk to him I try to be as supportive as possible but I also point out to him that he is there for a reason and he needs to figure out what those reasons are. It is hard , yes hard for us hard for them , Im determined not to get manipulated with his talk until i see real results until then alot of what he says i try to just have a neutral attitude, stay strong and take care

Chino

I learned to ask my daughter if she had talked about whatever, with the doctors and counselors. We both knew it was her disease to own, and I made sure to give it back to her.

ctg492

I went yesterday since it was christmas. All was good. He wants to do this and we both agreed it was the best Christmas gift ever for Him and everyone involved. I used the advice here given to have a back up plan to leave, which was to go see a family member at Christmas. He still has not fit in totally as to be expected, but he will. I will say everyone I met in Recovery was so nice and friendly. No guarantees for sure, but only hope and in his hands and God's.

ctg492

Last evening I go the call I was fearing "Come Get Me NOW". I just kept saying "No, you are in the best place" I never wavered from this. He did not waver on his statement. Then he said "Fine I do not care about anything" and hung up.
Today I am starting the family lecutre series given by the rehab. I hope with this I will learn more on how to deal with all that is and will happen.

Heartbroken0608

Good job on not giving in to him!