Since I Have No More Holiday Plans With My Addict Ex-BF, What Should I Do Now?
 

I've been given the strength to end my long term relationship with my boyfriend. After finding out that he'd been using (weed and alcohol), hiding it from me and everyone else that loves him, I knew that from reading some of the stories on SR would give me some good advice on how to start my recovery.

Although I've been given this strength and are finding it easier as the days go by to keep moving on, the holidays are making it that much harder to do so. Him and I had made all these plans for X-Mas and New Years and it makes me feel that much more alone. We planned on doing something with each others family. We were going to spend New Years telling each other the entire day what we want to accomplish on our own and together in the New Year, having a somewhat fresh start.

Now that all of that isn't going to happen, what's the best way to distract myself on X-Mas and New Years aside from spending time with my family? I still care about his parents so should I still call them to wish them happy holidays? How do I handle the holidays this year?

Any input is always appreciated.

Consider practicing serenity...practicing gratitude. Practice giving thanks for what surrounds you in your life, and who surrounds you. Practice prayer, reflection, quietude. Tis the season. Practice self care. Be gentle. Massage your heart.

Practice turning it over to your higher power...you do not know yet what life has in store for you.

I know that I will send messages of good will and cheer to my ex's family, who I like and feel warmth toward. That is MY relationship with THEM. So that is what I, MYSELF, will do.

I will pray for me, for my ex, and for all who are in my life, and for all those who suffer.
I will practice cheer, calm, and sweetness.
I will notice the quiet.

I will appreciate the lessening of drama.

Anything that you mentioned sounds as though you would still be doing it on your own.
(Except maybe visiting his family.)
Visiting your family.
Making your resolutions and plans for a fulfilling, happy, new year ahead.

Stay present within each moment.
One Day at a Time.
Peace, Prayers & Blessings your way!
Leslie

Some of the most unhealthy decisions we make are done in an attempt to cure lonliness. Christmas/New Years is the national holiday for codependents. We can and will rationalize just about everything ( including contacting the ex's parents to remain connected) in the name of "the holidays". Our choices usually result in begining the new year with a serious emotional hangover.

So how about just sitting with it all and feeling real good about yourself because you made the decision that you are worth more than the sum of this guy's issues.

"Find a story big enough to save your life."

That was said to me a few years ago and it was a reminder I needed! There are gazillions of stories out there. Volunteer and call today!

Senior Citizen Centers, homeless shelters, soup kitchens, VA hospitals, etc etc etc.

Gotta say...Out nailed it!