jessica52291

hello my name is jessica, and im here to tell my store about my boyfriend and i and ask questions! my boyfriend and i went to high school together but never really interracted throughout the 4 years of school, then the summer of graduation, we met and fell head over heels for each other. (summer of 2010) we went into the relationship both doing percocets...which many of you who have used pain killers as your choice of drug know, that they change who you really are. well anyways, he ended up stealing jewelery from my parents to support his habbit, and thats when i said enough, we broke up, and that was that, about a month in a half after that, he said he was sorry and it was the pills (which i can understand because i did the same thing in the past) so i gave him anouther chance, for i was giving a second chance for the crime i commited a year before we met, but under one condition, we get clean! and we did, it was really hard but we did it! ive been clean for a year now and i thought he was too, up till about 2 days ago.... he got arrested at work for stealing from his clients homes, he admitted to me and his familly that he has been doing pills since before this past summer....i was heart broken. his parents told him the only thing for him is to go to rehab, he agreed to go because he said he didnt want to lose his family adn me. he now in rehab and i have some concerns.... i feel like i dont even know the real him, i fell in love with the drug him, but ive been sober for a year so does that mean im clear minded and i do love him? or have i only really known the drug him? or his he really the same him but just does drugs? im very confused, is there a chance for us still or am i wasting my time on someone i think i know i know?

Heartbroken0608

I think when someone is using they don't even know the "real" them so it's impossible for you to know the real him. He's been using the entire time you've been with him. Give him the time he needs to work on his recovery then if/when he's had a lot of clean time perhaps you can re-evaluate your relationship. Put yourself first. you've worked hard to get and stay clean. You deserve a healthy relationship that doesn't involve lying, stealing, or drug use.

outtolunch

Sounds like a relationship of hopeful fantasy. His recovery or not is not depenendent on you. Nothing you can do to keep him clean or cause him to relapse.

Take care of yourself and figure out your own boundaries, what sort of behaviors are acceptable to you. If lying and stealing are unacceptable, take responsibility for yourself and remove yourself from the situation.

jessica52291

Thank you all Sooo much for your support and oppinions. I really love him and want to be here for him and support him in this. i decided to attend a support group as well, to figure out how to help once his out. Another concern is about the whole not making any major changes in the first year; well what if we were working on moving a couple hours away to a town that has more job oppurtunies for the both of us that we were working on doing before he went. All our drug free friends are up there and weve always dreamed of moving up there and he says he just wants to start over and live somewhere that makes us both happy. should we put the move and job oppertunities on the back burner for a year??? Were both 21 and i have the chance to move in with my mom at our dream town and get a job set up and save until he gets out ?