Seeking some support
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Eau Clarie
Posts: 1
Seeking some support
I am a 33rd year old woman trying to move through a relationship with an addict, He's a IV user basically anything he can get his hands on.. I"ve been with him on and off for the last four years of in and out of jail, drug programs etc.. He has lied and lied, stolen, mantiuplated, cheated and twisted things around so I would feel at fault. I've come to a breaking point where I can no longer take this anymore, every time he's lied stolen from me, I've made excuses for him to myself. I don;t understand how i even got involved into a realtionship with someone like him. I think of myself as being half way intelligent and here i am with this guy that totally treats me like crap and i dont know why i just can;t get over it and move on with my life. In the begining i thought he would change and its just been time after time and nothing ever changes. Just recently he stole my checkbook and wrote over 2,000 for drugs, I am finding myself going through these weird emotions like anger and then i feel sorry for him and sad that i went to the police to report it. He's looking at 4 to 5 years prison for doing this. I feel so bad but, then again i don;t WHO STEALS FROM THERE GIRLFRIEND?
Is there anyone out there here that has gone through a relationship with an addict that can help me move through this... I am at a very completly low point in my life and I am just not sure how about going to make things better.
Is there anyone out there here that has gone through a relationship with an addict that can help me move through this... I am at a very completly low point in my life and I am just not sure how about going to make things better.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: in the tree tops
Posts: 209
********** sara}}}} sorry you are dealing with this and at the holidays to boot, which always seem to make it feel worse.
Who steals from their Girlfriend? Addicts steal from everyone, their families, their friends, their neighbors, strangers. Sad but true.
There is nothing wrong with you. And IMHO, you did him a big favor by calling the police because going to jail might be the very thing that helps start him on the road to recovery. It might not, however, and so don't hang all your hopes and expectations on that one.
Take him being gone as a chance for YOU to work on YOU. Go to a support group or counselor. There are many choices listed on the stickys on the forurms page. Work on why you allow yourself to be treated like crap. Don't get bogged down in his addiction. Get back to living your life one day at a time.
And do come to this site for help, or a place to vent. It has helped me tremendously and I have only been coming here for less than a month!
much love and hugs, hang in there, take a breath, take another breath, hug yourself.
Know you are worthy.
Who steals from their Girlfriend? Addicts steal from everyone, their families, their friends, their neighbors, strangers. Sad but true.
There is nothing wrong with you. And IMHO, you did him a big favor by calling the police because going to jail might be the very thing that helps start him on the road to recovery. It might not, however, and so don't hang all your hopes and expectations on that one.
Take him being gone as a chance for YOU to work on YOU. Go to a support group or counselor. There are many choices listed on the stickys on the forurms page. Work on why you allow yourself to be treated like crap. Don't get bogged down in his addiction. Get back to living your life one day at a time.
And do come to this site for help, or a place to vent. It has helped me tremendously and I have only been coming here for less than a month!
much love and hugs, hang in there, take a breath, take another breath, hug yourself.
Know you are worthy.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Chicago area
Posts: 4,269
Women seem highly prone to relationships of hopeful fantasies.
Terrific book; Ten Stupid Things Women Do To Mess Up Their Lives by Laura Schessigner. You can get a used copy at Amazon, very cheap.
You may also want to consider seeing a therapist to learn how to set and maintain boundaries for yourself. Darn shame that stuff like this is not taught in schools. Life lessons like this are more important than knowing the state capital of Idaho.
Terrific book; Ten Stupid Things Women Do To Mess Up Their Lives by Laura Schessigner. You can get a used copy at Amazon, very cheap.
You may also want to consider seeing a therapist to learn how to set and maintain boundaries for yourself. Darn shame that stuff like this is not taught in schools. Life lessons like this are more important than knowing the state capital of Idaho.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Minneapolis
Posts: 924
I am only TWO weeks from having my ABF (ex) move out, I wanted to marry him! Then found out he was lying AGAIN...after two years in and out in and out. Deep in recovery, and Yes, highly intelligent (both of us) 
and that's not ego talking still...with all the support and hope and faith and community and resources and love love love
he STILL decided crack was the life
I am only two weeks away and already I feel the swell of freedom!!! the devil off my back. HE needs to go find life...or he will find death. My walking away, everyone has assured me over and over and over, is the absolute best thing...but I had to make the decision for me. I needed out. He would have stayed as long as I let him.
He wasn't stealing from me (yet) he paid his own way (still...) and yet me lied.
More importantly he uses and uses and uses.
He loves crack more than me, or his life, or his children.
It is so FREE, it is not my drug...I am going through withdrawal from him and I am willing to do it. the support here helps...and it gets better really FAST
Life is good, I don't want to waste it with addiction.
Hope my E, S, & H helps.
and that's not ego talking still...with all the support and hope and faith and community and resources and love love lovehe STILL decided crack was the life
I am only two weeks away and already I feel the swell of freedom!!! the devil off my back. HE needs to go find life...or he will find death. My walking away, everyone has assured me over and over and over, is the absolute best thing...but I had to make the decision for me. I needed out. He would have stayed as long as I let him.
He wasn't stealing from me (yet) he paid his own way (still...) and yet me lied.
More importantly he uses and uses and uses.
He loves crack more than me, or his life, or his children.
It is so FREE, it is not my drug...I am going through withdrawal from him and I am willing to do it. the support here helps...and it gets better really FAST
Life is good, I don't want to waste it with addiction.
Hope my E, S, & H helps.
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