Finality
 

Hello, checking in again.
Im legally and final divorced with sole custody (until he gets treatment , does well, pays support and petitions the court) He didnt even respond to papers. His mom told him when he finally called her after 6 weeks(for something of course) that he'd been divorced a few days and I put in papers he could call his son between 6 and 9 3 days a week.
So my attorney is drafting an amendment to modify the separate injunction petition to allow him to speak to me on phone only concerning D and so I can clear the call before handing D the phone.
Apparently, he's still not working, I dont even care anymore, one day Ill see a lil child support, but Ive survived this long without.

What a long recovery process for me. I joined here atleast 6 years ago under a different name. Swore I wouldnt give up, scared some of you into thinking Id die first and then one day I woke up, drove off and didnt return till house was mine, another year before I could file divorce and here we are.
The hardest part was the D word and finality, but no longer anything to do with him. Sadly that bond broke a long time ago, probably one of the nights my knees hit the floor and I was yelled at it was my fault and Im so dramatic. I pray for the girl he's with, but I believe she's seen enough if she stays she's no different than many of us. So I pary more for her child and our son.

Son did the psych test where you draw your house family and a tree. His results came out extremely well adjusted and accepting his dad was separate from us.

I had 1 crying spell the night I took my name back, but after that Im fine, lighter, healthier growing in leaps and bounds each day. I set appointments with my therapist once a month for next 6 months to help me continue to grow, learn me and not fall back into past patterns.

Today I have more life, more friends and more love than I ever thought possible.

We can break free and be successful and the pain can stop, we just have to push through it and want it bad enough.

Love you all

I like that you morphed into Butterfly....so much better than being a perpetual victim.

I knew that you would make it, in your own time and way!

As ever....Dolly

thanks for the story of chrysalis, emergence and blossoming flight.
I am ten days out, and I know that within a few months I will see him with another girl...I know it's the last thing I should be concerned about...but I have already been hoping that I will be able to have compassion for the next woman who gets charmed and romanticized into my position.
thank you for sharing/modeling your hard earned success.

Thanks for sharing your story of hope. It's great to see that you have found your way to a much better place. Happy holidays to you and the boys.

I am SOOOOOOO proud of you!!! I never doubted for a minute that you would be okay. You have always been a survivor. Your children are very blessed to have such a strong role model in front of them every day.

Love to you all. Life is good and getting better every day!

MWAH
Babs

Most times, when the door to a marriage is closed, the room was already empty.

You've been through the hard part and survived well. You have felt the grief of the loss of the dreams that will never be. Now you get to start the new beginnings, a time filled with wonder and hope and dreams that will be greater than any you have known before...because they are "your" dreams and you now hold the key to your own happiness. You did all along and didn't know it until now.

Hugs and prayers for you and your child. May the world be filled with sunshine and happiness for both of you.

After marrying and divorcing two addict/alcoholics and having a son with each.....all within a four year period... my own experience....please wait before dating because the rebound affair can be very tempting when we get lonely...keep working on yourself. I actually waited two years to begin dating after my second divorce. And the wait was worth it...because I found someone wonderful and it has lasted 15 years.