Please join me in prayer for wisdom regarding AS
 

Hello friends: I am meeting my AS for lunch today. This is the first time I have seen him since my house was broken into and I found a button from the thief's coat under my bed.

Naturally my AS has been a suspect in my mind. I am taking this button and will see if it matches the buttons on his coat (a coat I bought him, BTW) and if there is a button missing from his coat.

I may be able to put this suspicion to rest. If it does match his coat, I do not have a game plan. That's where i need the wisdom. So please keep me in your thoughts today as I go through this.

Thanks in advance. Sojourner

Being robbed is so disconcerting. There's a lot of that going around these days. Such a violation - whether it's done by a family member or by some unknown perpetrator. I'm assuming you reported the breakin to the police and to your insurance company, so you've really done all you can at this point.

I think detective work will drive you crazy. Even if the button doesn't match, it doesn't mean he didn't break into your house. And if the button does match, it really isn't enough evidence to convict him of the crime (or in our own minds - deny deny deny is the motto of every addict). It's never enough really...

Prayers for you that you are able to hand the situation over to your higher power, enjoy your lunch, let go and find some relief no matter what the outcome.

Hello Jojourner, I was in a place where my AS stole from us and it became apparent when the family PS3 was taken and in its place he put a game box with a towel over it. In the end, he had pawned over 10,000 of our stuff, all in his name. He admitted this to the police when I caught him witht the theft of the PS3. He ended up doing some time in jail and now is in a court imposed rehab for 6 months. His DOC was heroin. Worst drug in the world. It is not an easy decision if you suspect your son, but from my point of view, you can either ignore and hope it doesn't happen again or let the police do their job. They may check local pawn shops for your sons name to see if he has pawned anything lately. Please be sure to LOCK UP everything of value no matter what so you are protected.
Best thoughts going your way.
Teresa

I'm very new on here and am not really in a position to be giving anyone advice, but I wanted to share with you. Playing detective will drive you crazy. A while ago I decided to just listen to my gut. You'll never be able to prove he broke into the house (or he was high, or he took the money that's missing, etc), but trust your gut. You're not a court of law, you're his mother. Protect your home as best as you can (we got an alarm system and made sure every access point into the house is secured -- installed steel "things" on the door frames, secured the double hung windows that I found are amazingly easy to break into if you only have the standard lock that they come with, etc). Nothing will keep a determined thief out, but you can make it a little harder for them. The alarm system helps me sleep better at night knowing that if a door or window is opened I'll be alerted.

I hope your meeting with your son goes well.

For clarification, if I were to have some info that he was involved in this theft (over a year ago now) I would want to use it in regards to an intervention. I do not even live at that home now.

I resembled detective mom. I can also relate to using my perception of leverage to force my daughter into rehab via an intervention.

While she initially agreed, as soon as she realized rehab was no magic bullet, she wanted out. She relapsed within house of her return home from back to back stints in 3 different rehabs.

She eventually cleaned up on her own, in her own timeframe, not mine.

I agree, enjoy the lunch and just be wiser for the lesson.

I knew when I "knew", and I didn't need proof. It just got simple...if I was robbed or stolen from, my son did it. Nobody else ever stole from me.

I only wish now that I had charged him with theft. But woulda, coulda, shoulda isn't good for my recovery so I let that go too, wiser for the lessons.

Good luck, however this unfolds.

Hugs

Sojourner, I hope you have a really good time at lunch with your son. For the last couple of months I am seeing my son on a regular basis, I don't ask him anything related to drugs, I don't play detective, I don't accuse, I don't try and save him.

I cannot begin to tell you how much I enjoy our time together.