Day One; Message One; Hoping For Hope...
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Belgium
Posts: 2
Day One; Message One; Hoping For Hope...
Nearly clueless, that's me.
All I know is that my son's addiction - 10 years of on again/off again - is finally taking its toll on my marriage of 29 years.
Living in Europe, real meetings are not a very good option, so I've decided to give this a try. Please forgive the newbie!
It's a classic case of mother-enabler, father-bad cop. I'm willing to face the terrible pain of saying goodbye (most hopefully not forever...) to my son. My wife, on the other hand, cannot tolerate such a possibility.
So, drugs have truly dealt my family quite a blow.
I'll be so glad to hear from anyone willing to share insights with someone so very new and inexperienced!
All I know is that my son's addiction - 10 years of on again/off again - is finally taking its toll on my marriage of 29 years.
Living in Europe, real meetings are not a very good option, so I've decided to give this a try. Please forgive the newbie!
It's a classic case of mother-enabler, father-bad cop. I'm willing to face the terrible pain of saying goodbye (most hopefully not forever...) to my son. My wife, on the other hand, cannot tolerate such a possibility.
So, drugs have truly dealt my family quite a blow.
I'll be so glad to hear from anyone willing to share insights with someone so very new and inexperienced!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: St. Louis, Mo. USA
Posts: 265
Welcome Ripon75,
You found the right place. You have joined a community that you can share your fears and problems with. You will get lost of support, and honesty.
You have been dealing with it for 10 years and now you know as we do you can't control it. Addiction is a family disease and it affects everyone. We are just here to help one another get through it.
I am glad you found us, though sorry you needed to.
I have one AS-30 dealing with Heroin and another AS-31 dealing with alcohol and drugs.
Care to share some of your situation with us?
Together we can help one another.
You found the right place. You have joined a community that you can share your fears and problems with. You will get lost of support, and honesty.
You have been dealing with it for 10 years and now you know as we do you can't control it. Addiction is a family disease and it affects everyone. We are just here to help one another get through it.
I am glad you found us, though sorry you needed to.
I have one AS-30 dealing with Heroin and another AS-31 dealing with alcohol and drugs.
Care to share some of your situation with us?
Together we can help one another.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2010
Posts: 112
Welcome... I read your title, Hoping for Hope, and it brought to mind how, when we first were dealing with our daughter's addiction, I used to HOPE she'd get clean, HOPE she'd see the light, HOPE she'd make wise choices, HOPE she'd make amends, etc. For me, I had to come to a place where I stopped hoping in the things hoped for, and hope ONLY in my HP. For me that is God. And I felt the best (if not only) way that HE could save my daughter was for ME to get out of His way. Extremely hard for a parent to do....
Just want to encourage you to do whatever you can to keep your marriage in tact. 29 years is absolutely remarkable! My husband and I just celebrated 25 years and for 5 of those we've been plunged into the world of addiction. It is a precious gift, your marriage. At all costs, do not let it slip away.
Just want to encourage you to do whatever you can to keep your marriage in tact. 29 years is absolutely remarkable! My husband and I just celebrated 25 years and for 5 of those we've been plunged into the world of addiction. It is a precious gift, your marriage. At all costs, do not let it slip away.
I'm no angel!
Join Date: May 2005
Location: tampa, fl
Posts: 6,728
Welcome and I am so sorry that addiction is tearing your family apart. That is what addiction does, and, it has tenacles that reach far and wide and destroy everything within it's reach.
You are right, if you and your wife are not on the same page nothing will be resolved. As in war, if there is a divided front, you will lose.
Enabling is possibly the worst thing one can do in regard to an addict. Until they are allowed to fall to their knees, they will never have a chance to get back up, and, seek recovery.
Although there are no meetings in your area, you have an internet access, so, google
"Parents Who Enable" and a book called "Codependent No More".
I will assume that your son is an adult, so, he is responsible for himself, his life, his recovery....and....you and your wife are entitled to a continued life of peace and happiness.
Keep posting and reading others posts, we are here for you...both...
You are right, if you and your wife are not on the same page nothing will be resolved. As in war, if there is a divided front, you will lose.
Enabling is possibly the worst thing one can do in regard to an addict. Until they are allowed to fall to their knees, they will never have a chance to get back up, and, seek recovery.
Although there are no meetings in your area, you have an internet access, so, google
"Parents Who Enable" and a book called "Codependent No More".
I will assume that your son is an adult, so, he is responsible for himself, his life, his recovery....and....you and your wife are entitled to a continued life of peace and happiness.
Keep posting and reading others posts, we are here for you...both...
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
