Blogs


Notices

Cocaine & Bisexuality

Old 11-02-2011, 08:38 PM
  # 1 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Nov 2011
Posts: 2
Exclamation Cocaine & Bisexuality

Hello. I am female. my boyfriend recently entered rehab for a 120 day program. he is addicted to cocain and an alcoholic. he also has borderline personality disorder. wow do i pick winners. despite all this he is an amazing person underneath and i am grateful that he is seeking treatment. here's my issue..before admitting himself into therapy he felt he needed to come clean to me about all the lies. he informed me that in his past he had done gay for pay. he was homeless, unemployed and desperate. while doing this he became aware of cocaine because it was a part of all his encounters. he later stopped the gay for pay but found himself addicted to the drug. when he wanted it and couldnt afford it he knew that all he had to do was go on craigslist and find a guy that had alot of drugs. he would hit guys up to just give him blow jobs and cocaine. he is VERY sexually attracted to women and him and i have always had an incredible sexual relationship so i am shocked. he said that when he was on drugs and it wasn't easy to find a girl to give him head he knew it was a sealed deal to find a guy online. he said he's never felt attraction just blocked that out for the act of sex. is this even possible? can being on drugs really make you have sex with men just to have sex?? he said he never once would ever do it if drugs werent in his system. i'm so confused. i don't know what to think or how bisexuality works or how people think when they are on drugs. please help. i dont believe my boyfriend is gay.. he has always had girlfriends and is attracted to females only unless he just wants to get off and is high.
Helpmeplease765 is offline  
The Following User Says Thank You to Helpmeplease765 For This Useful Post:
Ann (11-03-2011)
Old 11-02-2011, 08:57 PM
  # 2 (permalink)  
Member
 
outtolunch's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Chicago area
Posts: 4,269
Maybe you want to get checked out for STDs cause you have no idea what he's been poking. These "True Confession" stories are never the whole story or entirely truthful.

Sounds like you don't know him very well and this amazing personality just waiting to come forward is a hopeful fanasty.

"Ten Stupid Things Women Do to Mess up their Lives" is an incredible book by author Laura Schlessinger that should be a must read for every woman.
While I do not agree with some of the author's politics, she knows her stuff as it relates to relationships.
outtolunch is offline  
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to outtolunch For This Useful Post:
Ann (11-03-2011), HopeAwaits (11-04-2011), hopeful0323 (11-03-2011), laurie6781 (11-03-2011)
Old 11-02-2011, 10:30 PM
  # 3 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Nov 2011
Posts: 2
thank you for your replies. I am so confused. I have been tested already for STD's and am safe thank God. My boyfriend snorted only...
Helpmeplease765 is offline  
The Following User Says Thank You to Helpmeplease765 For This Useful Post:
Ann (11-03-2011)
Old 11-03-2011, 01:01 AM
  # 4 (permalink)  
Belgian Sheepdog Adictee
 
laurie6781's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: In Today
Posts: 6,101
and am safe thank God
You do not know for sure because Hepatitis C can lie dormant in your body for years and then flare and play real havoc with your liver.

You will need to continue to be checked every 6 months or so from now on.

J M H O

Love and hugs,
laurie6781 is offline  
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to laurie6781 For This Useful Post:
Ann (11-03-2011), HopeAwaits (11-04-2011), NoelleR (11-03-2011)
Old 11-03-2011, 03:21 AM
  # 5 (permalink)  
Ann
Nature Girl
 
Ann's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 58,939
Originally Posted by Helpmeplease765 View Post
thank you for your replies. I am so confused. I have been tested already for STD's and am safe thank God. My boyfriend snorted only...
It's not just the needle sharing, it's the sex itself that may bring you gifts you can't return.

Take a good read around, make yourself comfortable, and maybe think about how and why you got involved with someone this deep in trouble already...and more importantly, why you want to stay. Please look at "what is". "What might be someday" is a fantasty that is unlikely to unfold the way you dream.

Take care of yourself please.

Hugs
Ann is offline  
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Ann For This Useful Post:
HopeAwaits (11-04-2011), laurie6781 (11-03-2011)
Old 11-03-2011, 07:55 AM
  # 6 (permalink)  
Member
 
cc88's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Boston, Ma
Posts: 184
Really sorry to hear this.

I've dealt with addiction and If anyone comes to me, I tell them that a relationship with an addict is the 2nd most impossible thing to have a happy ending in.

the first is a relationship with someone who is bpd.

So lets say you're 10 to 20 percent more likely to have a lifetime of pain and suffering and ultimately and ugly divorce by pursuing a relationship with a drug addict, that gets multiplied when they also have bpd. add that to an already 50% divorce rate in this country, I'd say you're on a train with signs clearly marked "This train will drive off a cliff, then explode, then get set on fire, then get hit by a meteor. Ride at own risk"

I pray you jump off.

I have a brother who is an IV drug user and I was in a serious long term relationship with a girl with borderline. I am luckily still friends from a distance with the latter, and luckily still not talking at all with the former.

and I'd agree with OTL, get yourself tested.

Hug.

Last edited by cc88; 11-03-2011 at 08:09 AM. Reason: clarification
cc88 is offline  
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to cc88 For This Useful Post:
HopeAwaits (11-04-2011), hopeful0323 (11-03-2011), steve1840 (11-03-2011)
Old 11-03-2011, 09:40 AM
  # 7 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 774
Blog Entries: 8
i have been struggling with the fine line between what i attribute the the drugs and what i attribute to my alo's personality. in my case, my alo has been diagnosed w bpd, but has never sought treatment and before drug addiction came into play, it was a difficult relationship at times. there were good times, but bad as well, and the bad made me go crazy. later when addiction reared its ugly head in full force, she sold her self for drugs. never would have dreamed of such a thing, but it happened. i surmise that she has issues and the addiction allowed her to cross over to that side.

in your case, it seems like a sexual issue because he was prostituting before he got on drugs.

either way, it is an awful place for them to be and us as well. i have had blinders on for well over a year and have had my heart crushed over and over, but i have kept this dream alive that it will be better just around the corner. i have been peering around corners for a long time and it doesnt get better. all i hear is the whisper from afar that leads me to the next turn, but when i get there she isnt there, there is jsut the sound of her and she is gone to the next corner.

deep down, deeeeep down i have doubts about everything, even if she got clean, i still doubt the possibilities of a future, although i hold on to that everyday. i do live a fantasy. i tell myself, she will go into rehab and go through dual diagnosis, embrace therapy and become the wonderful person i believe is inside her. that almost happened last week. she found a free treatment center that provides all sorts of therapy, but it was just a whisper and it dissipated into thin air.

as outtolunch said, we only get part of the truth, so there really is no way to know for sure, i think the bigger issue, aside from testing, is for him to first tackle the addiction, and then see where that leads him.
steve1840 is offline  

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 07:52 AM.