Here4Jason

I am here for my son who is currently incarcerated and going to a rehab program on Monday...I am anxious, excited and scared of what happens in 90 days. Looking for help on finding a halfway type of house for when he gets out. Is there any that are for adults with no job? Low income type? I am already financing the rehab and funds are tapped out, however I don't want to just let him loose after investing so much in him...help please!!

Taking5

Look for Oxford houses. They are very good IMHO.

Can you tell us more about his circumstances, history, etc.? There is a lot of good support here.

laurie6781

Welcome to Sober Recovery. I am glad you found us, but sorry for the reasons you had to.

Please check out Alanon for yourself.

I have to give you 'fair warning' that rehab may not work. However, there are FREE rehabs he can find on his own, especially the Salvation Army, they have a GREAT success rate for those that stay.

As to Sober Living Environments, that will be up to your son and his counselor at the rehab to work out.

It will not be easy. Others will be along that also have children that are A's. I was the A. My folks FINALLY locked me out totally from their lives when I was 33 1/2 and it still took another 2 1/2 years for me to find recovery and the last 1 1/2 years I lived on the streets. That is over 30 years ago now.

THAT WAS THE BEST THING MY FOLKS EVER DID FOR ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I thanked them continuously in many ways after I found recovery up to the time of their individual passings.

So, pull up a chair and your keyboard, read the 'stickys' at the top of this forum, check out a bunch of the threads.

Please keep posting and let us know how you are doing, as we do care very much.

Love and hugs,

Aegian

Resources are going to vary depending on where you live. I would check with the rehab facility closer to his release date for appropriate recommendations.

Ann

Welcome from another mama. Your opening line here could have been me a lot of years back. I came looking for help for my son and found help for me. As it turned out, I learned that although I could not save my son (only he could do that when he was ready), I could save myself from the insanity of living with addiction.

The things that helped me most to find peace, serenity and beauty in every new day were meetings, SR and a wonderful book we all swear by called Codependent No More by Melodie Beatty. Meetings saved by life, literally. SR gave me daily support from people who truly understood, and Codependent No More helped me understand how I got so messed up in my son's addiction, and how to find a better way to live.

Take a read around, you will find many mamas here who have been where you are. I have, many times. Rehab helped my son...many times...by giving him the tools to make better choices and live his life on life's terms. Sadly, it's been a long journey in and out of recovery for my son and I pray each day that one day soon he finds his way back.

I truly believe that if I had not found help for myself long ago, I might not be here to share my light today. I could not live in his addiction and my recovery at the same time and going down with him would not help either one of us. So I chose recovery and hope that one day soon he will follow and find his own recovery too.

I don't mean to bring you down with my story, sadly it's a common one here, and I pray your boy will do better and learn more quickly. I share my story so that you will know that you may want to get your own support in place and learn how to keep your balance along the way. Meetings have helped many of us here and they remain the backbone of my recovery.

I'm glad you joined us and hope you find comfort and peace here at SR.

Hugs

devastated

I totally agree with Ann here, in that I, too, came here years ago looking for help for my son. I couldn't do anything for him although I tried like crazy, but it sure did help me.

We had some great laughs, also shed a lot of tears! In the end, what I learned from it all is "hands off the addict!"

They are going to get well, or not get well, on their own terms, in their own time.

I learned the less I interfered the faster he would learn.

I learned that no matter how many times I rescued him, he would go right back to doing as he pleased, which was drugs!

I learned that the only one I could control, was myself!

Now, I try really hard to live each day for me, pray for him, but leave him to make his own choices and decisions.

My son is now almost 49 years old. He has been an addict since he was 16. It has only been the last 6 months that he has seen the light and wants to stay clean.

I learned that he may have finally hit bottom when he was homeless and called me to help, and I had to say "you know what to do!"

Moral of this story is to take care of yourself. Pray for your son. Guide him, but don't do it for him. They know where to find help!! They learn all this in rehab. They have lists and lists of SLE's where they will get support and anything else they need from those who have gone before him.

Stay strong, Hugs, Devastated

litehorse

welcome, here4jason, my son is incarcerated right now also - one thing i have learned is that, as everyone else has said, the addict has to make the decision for himself - i will be praying for you and your son as you move through this process - you will find lots of support and experience here

Kindeyes

Welcome from another mother.

I came here and to Nar-anon and Al-anon to find help for my son......but I found help for myself. I had become so addicted to my addicted son that I think my sickness exceeded his. I'm getting better everyday. My son is still held in the grip of addiction. I pray for him daily. I love him. But I know that I am not the appropriate person to help him.

He told me once that everything is a degree of "want". If one person wants something more than the other person, it just won't work. Wise words. He has to want sobriety more than I want it for him.....or it just won't work.

These days I concentrate my energies on taking care of myself and working my own program. They say it works if you work it.....and it does.

gentle hugs
ke