updates
 

so i have again been spending time away from the board and doing my own thing. its been going well. i spent last weekend on a picture journey in the coal region of pa. and found some great spots.

the tranquility of that was unexpectedly interrupted by a call from jail. i did not accept the call. i did accept one a couple days later. basically she's in jail. has been since the 7th. if funny how one day she says how this was a good thing for her and wants to go right to rehab when she gets out. then it becomes that she wants some time before rehab. i see tha maneuvering to get high and that gives me extra strength to say no to anything and to no pick up the phone.

i even received a letter the other day where she said she would do anything at all not to lose me from her life, anything rehab whatever it takes. so when she hinted at getting high, i reiterated- at least one year in rehab and clean. this is your chance to start and you are not wanting to do it. she gave all the reasons why she wants to get high one more time, i said, if you are needing one more time, it doesnt seem that you are ready. then the excuses were repeated.

so thats huge for me. i'll talk to her in a few days to see what her plans are for when she gets out. it'll only be a total of 17 days. seems at first it was enough to scare her, but now that its winding down other things are in her head. for me- lifes been pretty good.

Why? You said you needed a year clean. Isn't that your boundary? You are sending her very mixed messages.

She can't do it for you, Steve, she must do it because she wants to for herself. And her words mean nothing since they are never backed by action. Perhaps after 6 months in rehab she may have some credibility, but again, "she" is the one who has to take that step for herself.

Waiting to see how she is, what she says and what she does is a waste of your emotions and your life. Putting conditions to her solves nothing. Sticking to your boundaries for your own health's sake is what will help you stop the codependent dance.

Trust me, I've been around the dance floor more than once and I choose to sit the next one out.

Hugs

Why????? I thought you were moving on with your life. Think about it. If you spent all the time y
and energy you focused on HER life on your own life, you might actually have a new, nice, REAL LIFE girlfriend by now.

here's a video of how hard it is to get off heroin/coke/crack addiction, even with the best support.

Steve Wilkos - My Daughter Prostitutes For Heroin (Part One) - YouTube