Dailies from ODAT part II
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October 26 in The Little Blue Book ONE DAY at a TIME in AL-ANON:
Step One of the Twelve Steps, “…admitted we were powerless,” is often thought to be the most difficult of all. For some of us, though, the Second Step is just as hard because it suggests we admit that our own behavior hasn’t always been entirely sane. Here’s an example:
A fairly usual habit that is irrational and self-defeating is to make big troubles out of little ones. We don’t do this because we haven’t enough of the big ones – oh no! It’s because we’re so weighed down by it all that everything looks black, and we fail to distinguish between what’s crucial and important, and what things we could afford to ignore and forget.
TODAY’S REMINDER
Every time something happens to frustrate or annoy me, I’ll stand off and ask myself: “Is this a mountain or a molehill?” I just won’t waste time and nervous energy on unimportant things; I’ll save them so I can cope with the big ones!
“Some folks worry and putter,
Push and shove,
Hunting little molehills
To make big mountains of.”
Step One of the Twelve Steps, “…admitted we were powerless,” is often thought to be the most difficult of all. For some of us, though, the Second Step is just as hard because it suggests we admit that our own behavior hasn’t always been entirely sane. Here’s an example:
A fairly usual habit that is irrational and self-defeating is to make big troubles out of little ones. We don’t do this because we haven’t enough of the big ones – oh no! It’s because we’re so weighed down by it all that everything looks black, and we fail to distinguish between what’s crucial and important, and what things we could afford to ignore and forget.
TODAY’S REMINDER
Every time something happens to frustrate or annoy me, I’ll stand off and ask myself: “Is this a mountain or a molehill?” I just won’t waste time and nervous energy on unimportant things; I’ll save them so I can cope with the big ones!
“Some folks worry and putter,
Push and shove,
Hunting little molehills
To make big mountains of.”
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Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: "Happy Rock" (Gladstone) Oregon
Posts: 1,252
October 27 in The Little Blue Book ONE DAY at a TIME in AL-ANON:
When we try to absorb too much too quickly in Al-Anon, we may be discouraged and fail to continue with the program. But let us consider that philosophers throughout the ages spent their whole lives in contemplating such truths and, since our busy lives leave us little time for meditation and study, we would be wise to take it slowly, concentrating on one idea at a time.
TODAY’S REMINDER
I will select a single thought from one of the Twelve Steps, or a phrase from my Al-Anon reading, and try to apply it ach day. This will give me a little nugget of security on which I can add other concepts as I need them. In this process, we find an important application of our slogan Easy Does It.
I will not try to grasp the whole program at once, lest I become distracted and confused. I will remind myself that the only vital thing is to apply what I have learned – to make it work for me in all the happenings of my daily life.
“If I learn nothing more in Al-Anon than to keep hands off what is not truly my business, this alone will lighten and brighten my life.”
When we try to absorb too much too quickly in Al-Anon, we may be discouraged and fail to continue with the program. But let us consider that philosophers throughout the ages spent their whole lives in contemplating such truths and, since our busy lives leave us little time for meditation and study, we would be wise to take it slowly, concentrating on one idea at a time.
TODAY’S REMINDER
I will select a single thought from one of the Twelve Steps, or a phrase from my Al-Anon reading, and try to apply it ach day. This will give me a little nugget of security on which I can add other concepts as I need them. In this process, we find an important application of our slogan Easy Does It.
I will not try to grasp the whole program at once, lest I become distracted and confused. I will remind myself that the only vital thing is to apply what I have learned – to make it work for me in all the happenings of my daily life.
“If I learn nothing more in Al-Anon than to keep hands off what is not truly my business, this alone will lighten and brighten my life.”
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October 28 in The Little Blue Book ONE DAY at a TIME in AL-ANON:
There are times when the “poor me” mood is upon us; we’re overwhelmed by all the troubles we have to face. This is especially likely to happen when we have begun to try to change our thinking about ourselves and our relation to others. We may, at first, become too analytical and try to solve too much at once.
For this frame of mind there is an almost infallible prescription: to empty our minds of all thoughts but one: today and how to use it.
TODAY’S REMINDER
This day is mine. It is unique. Nobody in the world has one exactly like it. It holds the sum of all my past experience and all my future potential. It belongs to me to do with whatever I like. I can fill it with joyous moments or ruin it with fruitless worry. If painful recollections of the past come into my mind, or frightening thoughts of the future, I will put them away. They cannot spoil today for me.
“Today is my special gift from God. How will I use it? The less I let others affect it, the more serene and satisfying it will be for me.”
There are times when the “poor me” mood is upon us; we’re overwhelmed by all the troubles we have to face. This is especially likely to happen when we have begun to try to change our thinking about ourselves and our relation to others. We may, at first, become too analytical and try to solve too much at once.
For this frame of mind there is an almost infallible prescription: to empty our minds of all thoughts but one: today and how to use it.
TODAY’S REMINDER
This day is mine. It is unique. Nobody in the world has one exactly like it. It holds the sum of all my past experience and all my future potential. It belongs to me to do with whatever I like. I can fill it with joyous moments or ruin it with fruitless worry. If painful recollections of the past come into my mind, or frightening thoughts of the future, I will put them away. They cannot spoil today for me.
“Today is my special gift from God. How will I use it? The less I let others affect it, the more serene and satisfying it will be for me.”
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October 29 in The Little Blue Book ONE DAY at a TIME in AL-ANON:
We make a great many decisions; small, day-to-day ones that are mere choices, all the way up to big resolutions to make important changes in our lives.
Little or big, they are better when we use whatever forethought the situation require. If they are concerned with other people, it is well to include such ingredient as love, generosity, tolerance and just plain kindness. Then we will make decisions we can live with comfortably.
If the resolution we’re about to make is highly charged with anger, resentment or bitterness, it would be wise to hold back until the hysteria has subsided and we have taken time to consider all the factors calmly.
TODAY’S REMINDER
I will remember that a decision I make in a time of crisis might not be the one I would make when the crisis is past. I will not rashly take a step which I may afterward regret.
“All our resolves and decisions are made in a mood or frame of mind which is certain to change.” - Proust
We make a great many decisions; small, day-to-day ones that are mere choices, all the way up to big resolutions to make important changes in our lives.
Little or big, they are better when we use whatever forethought the situation require. If they are concerned with other people, it is well to include such ingredient as love, generosity, tolerance and just plain kindness. Then we will make decisions we can live with comfortably.
If the resolution we’re about to make is highly charged with anger, resentment or bitterness, it would be wise to hold back until the hysteria has subsided and we have taken time to consider all the factors calmly.
TODAY’S REMINDER
I will remember that a decision I make in a time of crisis might not be the one I would make when the crisis is past. I will not rashly take a step which I may afterward regret.
“All our resolves and decisions are made in a mood or frame of mind which is certain to change.” - Proust
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October 30 in The Little Blue Book ONE DAY at a TIME in AL-ANON:
We get so used to hearing Al-Anon described as a fellowship that we sometimes forget the significance to each of us personally of that word. The Oxford English Dictionary sais that it is “Participation, community of interest, sentiment and nature; the spirit of comradeship…especially spiritual, etc.” In a fellowship, we give of ourselves and the more we give, the more we get.
If I go out of my way to help a fellow member in trouble, and try to help him or her understand a problem and deal with it spiritually, I am actually getting more than I give, for I learn more from examining my own ideas and clarifying them. Many a solution to a difficulty of my own has come to me while I was helping someone else.
TODAY’s REMINDER
The good that I get from the spiritual teachings of Al-Anon will work most fully for me as I use opportunities to give it away to someone else. In this fellowship, I am but a channel for God’s loving help.
“Thou therefore which teachest another, teachest thou not thyself?” - Romans
We get so used to hearing Al-Anon described as a fellowship that we sometimes forget the significance to each of us personally of that word. The Oxford English Dictionary sais that it is “Participation, community of interest, sentiment and nature; the spirit of comradeship…especially spiritual, etc.” In a fellowship, we give of ourselves and the more we give, the more we get.
If I go out of my way to help a fellow member in trouble, and try to help him or her understand a problem and deal with it spiritually, I am actually getting more than I give, for I learn more from examining my own ideas and clarifying them. Many a solution to a difficulty of my own has come to me while I was helping someone else.
TODAY’s REMINDER
The good that I get from the spiritual teachings of Al-Anon will work most fully for me as I use opportunities to give it away to someone else. In this fellowship, I am but a channel for God’s loving help.
“Thou therefore which teachest another, teachest thou not thyself?” - Romans
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October 31 in The Little Blue Book ONE DAY at a TIME in AL-ANON
October 31 in The Little Blue Book ONE DAY at a TIME in AL-ANON:
Al-Anon is not an organization; it has no managers or bosses. It is a fellowship of equals, held together in close union by something called “obedience to the unenforceable.” This means that every group conducts Al-Anon’s work according to the spiritual principles stated in our Traditions, which they accept and follow of their own free will, without being directed or compelled by anyone.
“But,” someone may say, “…the Fourth Tradition says each group should be autonomous. Doesn’t that mean we can run our meetings any way we want to, use any kind of literature, and generally run things to suit ourselves?”
The answer is that the autonomy granted by the Fourth Tradition is limited to what is good for the fellowship as a whole. If a group departs from the ideas and procedures that make for the greatest good for the greatest number of Al-Anon members, it takes on its shoulders the responsibility for damaging the fellowship to which all of us look for help.
When a group faces questions or problems, the answers will be found in our Twelve Traditions. That is why it is so important for all of us to know them. The health and unity of all Al-Anon depends on the cooperation of all groups.
“Each group should be autonomous, except in matters affecting another group or Al-0Anon or AA as a whole.” Tradition Four
Al-Anon is not an organization; it has no managers or bosses. It is a fellowship of equals, held together in close union by something called “obedience to the unenforceable.” This means that every group conducts Al-Anon’s work according to the spiritual principles stated in our Traditions, which they accept and follow of their own free will, without being directed or compelled by anyone.
“But,” someone may say, “…the Fourth Tradition says each group should be autonomous. Doesn’t that mean we can run our meetings any way we want to, use any kind of literature, and generally run things to suit ourselves?”
The answer is that the autonomy granted by the Fourth Tradition is limited to what is good for the fellowship as a whole. If a group departs from the ideas and procedures that make for the greatest good for the greatest number of Al-Anon members, it takes on its shoulders the responsibility for damaging the fellowship to which all of us look for help.
When a group faces questions or problems, the answers will be found in our Twelve Traditions. That is why it is so important for all of us to know them. The health and unity of all Al-Anon depends on the cooperation of all groups.
“Each group should be autonomous, except in matters affecting another group or Al-0Anon or AA as a whole.” Tradition Four
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November 1 in The Little Blue Book ONE DAY at a TIME in AL-ANON:
Living with an alcoholic brings with it special problems that take many forms. If it is the drinker’s erratic behavior, social embarrassment, and other relatively minor problems, it is but a short step, in Al-Anon, to peace of mind for the non-alcoholic.
In others, the family may be deprived of the very necessities of life, and face cruelty, violence, police action, loss of home and need for public assistance.
Indignant at such sufferings, some of us in Al-Anon may feel it right and helpful to advise drastic action. We should always keep in mind, however, that if the person we mean to help makes a decision In hysteria or desperation, it is likely to be the wrong one.
TODAY’s REMINDER
Even in cases that seem hopeless to me, I will refrain from making judgments or giving advice. If I can persuade a desperate wife or husband to try, for even a little while, to understand and use the Al-Anon program, the resulting change in attitude could help to make the right solutions possible.
“God grant that I may never urge anyone to take any action but the constructive one of employing Al-Anon ideas.”
Living with an alcoholic brings with it special problems that take many forms. If it is the drinker’s erratic behavior, social embarrassment, and other relatively minor problems, it is but a short step, in Al-Anon, to peace of mind for the non-alcoholic.
In others, the family may be deprived of the very necessities of life, and face cruelty, violence, police action, loss of home and need for public assistance.
Indignant at such sufferings, some of us in Al-Anon may feel it right and helpful to advise drastic action. We should always keep in mind, however, that if the person we mean to help makes a decision In hysteria or desperation, it is likely to be the wrong one.
TODAY’s REMINDER
Even in cases that seem hopeless to me, I will refrain from making judgments or giving advice. If I can persuade a desperate wife or husband to try, for even a little while, to understand and use the Al-Anon program, the resulting change in attitude could help to make the right solutions possible.
“God grant that I may never urge anyone to take any action but the constructive one of employing Al-Anon ideas.”
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November 2 in The Little Blue Book ONE DAY at a TIME in AL-ANON:
What roles do we play in our relations with various people? When this topic came up in an al-Anon meeting, a member suggested that each of us might take a closer look at our attitudes toward our families. He pointed out that here, at the Al-0Anon meeting, we were often cheerful, willing to accept the program, hopeful that it would work for us.
“But do we,” he asked, “always present the same pleasant face to the alcoholic and to our children? Or do we often scowl and scold, admonish and complain, so the picture we present of ourselves at home is that of boss, mentor and disapprover?”
TODAY’s REMINDER
If my attitude at home is habitually glum and critical, I will try to change this by observing what I say and do, and how my family reacts. IO will not reserve my deference and respect for outsiders whom I want to please or my pleasant expressions for those I want to impress. The people I live with are worthy of my best behavior, and will surely respond to the respect and loving kindness which, without meaning to, I may have withheld from them.
“A merry heart doeth good like a medicine, but a broken spirit drieth the bones.” Proverbs
What roles do we play in our relations with various people? When this topic came up in an al-Anon meeting, a member suggested that each of us might take a closer look at our attitudes toward our families. He pointed out that here, at the Al-0Anon meeting, we were often cheerful, willing to accept the program, hopeful that it would work for us.
“But do we,” he asked, “always present the same pleasant face to the alcoholic and to our children? Or do we often scowl and scold, admonish and complain, so the picture we present of ourselves at home is that of boss, mentor and disapprover?”
TODAY’s REMINDER
If my attitude at home is habitually glum and critical, I will try to change this by observing what I say and do, and how my family reacts. IO will not reserve my deference and respect for outsiders whom I want to please or my pleasant expressions for those I want to impress. The people I live with are worthy of my best behavior, and will surely respond to the respect and loving kindness which, without meaning to, I may have withheld from them.
“A merry heart doeth good like a medicine, but a broken spirit drieth the bones.” Proverbs
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November 3 in The Little Blue Book ONE DAY at a TIME in AL-ANON:
Al-Anon, like other groupings of people, with a common interest or cause, has a language of its own – certain words and phrases which describe specific ideas. We may recognize them and use them without being quite clear as to their real meaning.
Take, for instance, the phrase: “Detach from the problem, but not from the person.” Some have actually imagined it means that Al-Anon advises against separation from the spouse. Others think it means shutting your mind and coldly ignoring everything that happens. Neither is true.
When we are urged to practice detachment, it never means disinterest. The latter would express only despair and hopelessness, while loving detachment gives us every hope of better days.
TODAY’S REMINDER
Of course I must be concerned with what happens to the people in my life. The purpose of emotional detachment is to keep myself form being drawn into crises of the alcoholic’s making. If I do not interfere, he will be compelled to find his own way out of his difficulties. This is the wholesome, helpful Al-Anon kind of detachment.
“Detachment motivated by love can shield us from needless pain and set the stage for a truly rewarding relationship.”
Al-Anon, like other groupings of people, with a common interest or cause, has a language of its own – certain words and phrases which describe specific ideas. We may recognize them and use them without being quite clear as to their real meaning.
Take, for instance, the phrase: “Detach from the problem, but not from the person.” Some have actually imagined it means that Al-Anon advises against separation from the spouse. Others think it means shutting your mind and coldly ignoring everything that happens. Neither is true.
When we are urged to practice detachment, it never means disinterest. The latter would express only despair and hopelessness, while loving detachment gives us every hope of better days.
TODAY’S REMINDER
Of course I must be concerned with what happens to the people in my life. The purpose of emotional detachment is to keep myself form being drawn into crises of the alcoholic’s making. If I do not interfere, he will be compelled to find his own way out of his difficulties. This is the wholesome, helpful Al-Anon kind of detachment.
“Detachment motivated by love can shield us from needless pain and set the stage for a truly rewarding relationship.”
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November 4 in The Little Blue Book ONE DAY at a TIME in AL-ANON:
An Al-Anon member once remarked that the main source of our unhappiness is that we ourselves don’t know what we want. We think we’re dissatisfied with what we have, with the way we live, and the way other people act toward us. He suggested that each person dig down deep to see what we really feel would bring us contentment.
If this self-searching reveals only that we are disgruntled because we feel we deserve a better car, a bigger house or more money, we must dig still deeper for the real cause. Is it envy of others? Is it our inability to enjoy fully what we do have? Do we, in defense of our own shortcomings, look for excuses to blame others?
TODAY’S REMINDER
I can find serenity only be rooting out my discontent. I must acknowledge to myself the real reasons why I react as I do. Am I doing my share If not, my dissatisfaction may be due to unrecognized guilt. Is it difficult for me to feel and express appreciation I will try to develop a sense of gratitude. Do I expect others to behave according to my expectations? I will live and let live.
“It really adds up to this: that we’re not satisfied with ourselves, and we can certainly do something about that.”
An Al-Anon member once remarked that the main source of our unhappiness is that we ourselves don’t know what we want. We think we’re dissatisfied with what we have, with the way we live, and the way other people act toward us. He suggested that each person dig down deep to see what we really feel would bring us contentment.
If this self-searching reveals only that we are disgruntled because we feel we deserve a better car, a bigger house or more money, we must dig still deeper for the real cause. Is it envy of others? Is it our inability to enjoy fully what we do have? Do we, in defense of our own shortcomings, look for excuses to blame others?
TODAY’S REMINDER
I can find serenity only be rooting out my discontent. I must acknowledge to myself the real reasons why I react as I do. Am I doing my share If not, my dissatisfaction may be due to unrecognized guilt. Is it difficult for me to feel and express appreciation I will try to develop a sense of gratitude. Do I expect others to behave according to my expectations? I will live and let live.
“It really adds up to this: that we’re not satisfied with ourselves, and we can certainly do something about that.”
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November 5 in The Little Blue Book ONE DAY at a TIME in AL-ANON:
Once, there was a Very Nice Girl whose neighbor told her about Al-Anon. The girl was very proud and only reluctantly admitted that her brother was wrecking the family by his excessive drinking. She went to a few meetings, but always hesitated when her neighbor invited her. It seemed this Very Nice Girl felt a little above the kind of people who came to talk about their drunken relatives. But the neighbor, a dedicated Al-Anon, realized that she had not yet learned the importance of Humility in coping with life’s problems.
She would criticize the way people talked at meetings; commented that some of them were uneducated and used faulty grammar, and so on. Finally, after working with her patiently, the neighbor managed to convince her that the most important thing about Al-Anon was the way we help each other through love and mutual concern for each other’s problems. And that the most important way to get that help was to listen to what is said, and now how it is said.
One day the neighbor, who read the bible each morning and evening, came across a paragraph that she thought would be helpful, and it was! This is what it said:
“There are, it may be, so many kinds of voices in the world, and none of them is without significance.” This verse, from the 14th Chapter of 1st Corinthians, verse 10, made it clear to the girl that she would find answers from uncritical listening. And she did1
Once, there was a Very Nice Girl whose neighbor told her about Al-Anon. The girl was very proud and only reluctantly admitted that her brother was wrecking the family by his excessive drinking. She went to a few meetings, but always hesitated when her neighbor invited her. It seemed this Very Nice Girl felt a little above the kind of people who came to talk about their drunken relatives. But the neighbor, a dedicated Al-Anon, realized that she had not yet learned the importance of Humility in coping with life’s problems.
She would criticize the way people talked at meetings; commented that some of them were uneducated and used faulty grammar, and so on. Finally, after working with her patiently, the neighbor managed to convince her that the most important thing about Al-Anon was the way we help each other through love and mutual concern for each other’s problems. And that the most important way to get that help was to listen to what is said, and now how it is said.
One day the neighbor, who read the bible each morning and evening, came across a paragraph that she thought would be helpful, and it was! This is what it said:
“There are, it may be, so many kinds of voices in the world, and none of them is without significance.” This verse, from the 14th Chapter of 1st Corinthians, verse 10, made it clear to the girl that she would find answers from uncritical listening. And she did1
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November 6 in The Little Blue Book ONE DAY at a TIME in AL-ANON:
Heard at an Al-Anon meeting, “I am willing to admit that the Al-Anon program, as a personal discipline, can do a lot for anyone who uses it. But I can’t believe that we need the help of what you call a Higher Power, or God.”
Even for those of us who believe only what we can see and touch, there is help in al-Anon. Gradually as we experience the miraculous results of using the Twelve Steps (even if only those which make no reference to the spiritual!), we are led to believe in a “Power greater than ourselves.” We receive, through spiritual enlightenment, the gift of faith. Finally, we come to realize that the good changes in our lives could not have come about without God’s guidance.
TODAY’s REMINDER
If we admit the reality of our problems, and we can realistically appraise the experience of working them out, we have the most rational of reasons for believing in a Higher Power. We see, then, that we can use a Source of help which is beyond our human understanding.
“Why should we try to move mountains with our own strength alone, when faith, ‘even as a grain of mustard seed,’ can help us achieve what seemed impossible?”
Heard at an Al-Anon meeting, “I am willing to admit that the Al-Anon program, as a personal discipline, can do a lot for anyone who uses it. But I can’t believe that we need the help of what you call a Higher Power, or God.”
Even for those of us who believe only what we can see and touch, there is help in al-Anon. Gradually as we experience the miraculous results of using the Twelve Steps (even if only those which make no reference to the spiritual!), we are led to believe in a “Power greater than ourselves.” We receive, through spiritual enlightenment, the gift of faith. Finally, we come to realize that the good changes in our lives could not have come about without God’s guidance.
TODAY’s REMINDER
If we admit the reality of our problems, and we can realistically appraise the experience of working them out, we have the most rational of reasons for believing in a Higher Power. We see, then, that we can use a Source of help which is beyond our human understanding.
“Why should we try to move mountains with our own strength alone, when faith, ‘even as a grain of mustard seed,’ can help us achieve what seemed impossible?”
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November 7 in The Little Blue Book ONE DAY at a TIME in AL-ANON:
“Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God…” says Step Eleven. This gives me the assurance that my conscious contact with Him depends entirely on me, on my desire for it. This great power is mine, constantly near and available for me to use.
TODAY’s REMINDER
I will remind myself very day how much depends on my being aware of God’s influence on my life. I will accept His help in everything I do. Without such surrender to a superior wisdom, my life would be at the mercy of forces I cannot control.
Meditation will bring me closer to God and to the divine qualities in my fellow men who are also His children. Prayer will turn my thoughts away from my problems. As I meditate and pray, I am letting go of them and learning that their solution does not depend on me alone.
“God is present in all His creatures, but all are not equally aware of His presence.”
“Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God…” says Step Eleven. This gives me the assurance that my conscious contact with Him depends entirely on me, on my desire for it. This great power is mine, constantly near and available for me to use.
TODAY’s REMINDER
I will remind myself very day how much depends on my being aware of God’s influence on my life. I will accept His help in everything I do. Without such surrender to a superior wisdom, my life would be at the mercy of forces I cannot control.
Meditation will bring me closer to God and to the divine qualities in my fellow men who are also His children. Prayer will turn my thoughts away from my problems. As I meditate and pray, I am letting go of them and learning that their solution does not depend on me alone.
“God is present in all His creatures, but all are not equally aware of His presence.”
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November 8 in The Little Blue Book ONE DAY at a TIME in AL-ANON:
If I could make a clear distinction between self-love and love of self, it would be a giant step forward in changing my attitude toward the alcoholic. Self-love is the source of hostility and arrogance, the big ego around which everything must revolve. It makes me unable to see any point of view but my own. It is the mark of a mind which is closed to real feeling for others.
Love of self, on the other hand, carries out the Commandment: “Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself.” We can love others, and help them, only when we are at peace with ourselves. When we appreciate our own dignity and value as human beings, we are better able to have compassion for others.
TODAY’s REMINDER
Self-love often wears a mask of false humility behind which we exaggerate our own importance, and justify the wrongs we do to others. True humility comes from love of self, which is the realization of ourselves as we really are.
“Resolve to be thyself and know that he who finds himself loses his misery.”
If I could make a clear distinction between self-love and love of self, it would be a giant step forward in changing my attitude toward the alcoholic. Self-love is the source of hostility and arrogance, the big ego around which everything must revolve. It makes me unable to see any point of view but my own. It is the mark of a mind which is closed to real feeling for others.
Love of self, on the other hand, carries out the Commandment: “Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself.” We can love others, and help them, only when we are at peace with ourselves. When we appreciate our own dignity and value as human beings, we are better able to have compassion for others.
TODAY’s REMINDER
Self-love often wears a mask of false humility behind which we exaggerate our own importance, and justify the wrongs we do to others. True humility comes from love of self, which is the realization of ourselves as we really are.
“Resolve to be thyself and know that he who finds himself loses his misery.”
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November 9 in The Little Blue Book ONE DAY at a TIME in AL-ANON:
There are those who come to Al-Anon weighed down by an unbearable problem. They expect that it can be solved by human means alone, but they soon learn that the help they get is provided by human beings acting as channels for the love and wisdom of a Higher Power.
Perhaps they have never had the security and comfort of a living faith; often, they have lost what faith they once had because of misfortunes that have befallen them. They may feel that god has been cruel and unfair, that He is not concerned with them and their burdens. Some, in utter despair, actually think they are not worthy of God’s care.
TODAY’S REMINDER
Divine help is always near and available to me, if I am willing to accept it. Active consciousness, at all times, of “not my will, but Thine, be done” will work out every difficulty.
“Short arm needs man to reach to Heaven, so ready is Heaven to stoop to him.” – Francis Thompson: Grace of the Way
There are those who come to Al-Anon weighed down by an unbearable problem. They expect that it can be solved by human means alone, but they soon learn that the help they get is provided by human beings acting as channels for the love and wisdom of a Higher Power.
Perhaps they have never had the security and comfort of a living faith; often, they have lost what faith they once had because of misfortunes that have befallen them. They may feel that god has been cruel and unfair, that He is not concerned with them and their burdens. Some, in utter despair, actually think they are not worthy of God’s care.
TODAY’S REMINDER
Divine help is always near and available to me, if I am willing to accept it. Active consciousness, at all times, of “not my will, but Thine, be done” will work out every difficulty.
“Short arm needs man to reach to Heaven, so ready is Heaven to stoop to him.” – Francis Thompson: Grace of the Way
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Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: "Happy Rock" (Gladstone) Oregon
Posts: 1,252
November 10 in The Little Blue Book ONE DAY at a TIME in AL-ANON:
Here is another Al-Anon prescription for that frantic state of tension we call being “tied in knots.”
Just for the moment, empty your mind of all thought. Then admit to it one single idea, and concentrate on it for a whole minute. Let it be a simple thing you can make a picture of in your mind – a rose of a specific color, an empty bowl you imagine yourself filling with bright fruit, a tiny sliver of a new moon. Think of nothing else but that one thing and don’t let anything else intrude. The minute will seem like an hour, but at the end of this concentrated thought, the tension and confusion will have drained away, and you’ll be better able to cope with the present problem.
TODAY’s REMINDER
Troubles grow bigger as we spend more and more time thinking about them. I will interrupt such thoughts with a meditation whenever their weight is too much for me. It will calm my thinking and put my difficulty into proper focus.
“Meditation is the spiritual way to turn my thoughts away from whatever is troubling me. It is a lift, refreshment.”
Here is another Al-Anon prescription for that frantic state of tension we call being “tied in knots.”
Just for the moment, empty your mind of all thought. Then admit to it one single idea, and concentrate on it for a whole minute. Let it be a simple thing you can make a picture of in your mind – a rose of a specific color, an empty bowl you imagine yourself filling with bright fruit, a tiny sliver of a new moon. Think of nothing else but that one thing and don’t let anything else intrude. The minute will seem like an hour, but at the end of this concentrated thought, the tension and confusion will have drained away, and you’ll be better able to cope with the present problem.
TODAY’s REMINDER
Troubles grow bigger as we spend more and more time thinking about them. I will interrupt such thoughts with a meditation whenever their weight is too much for me. It will calm my thinking and put my difficulty into proper focus.
“Meditation is the spiritual way to turn my thoughts away from whatever is troubling me. It is a lift, refreshment.”
Present
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: "Happy Rock" (Gladstone) Oregon
Posts: 1,252
November 11 in The Little Blue Book ONE DAY at a TIME in AL-ANON:
“Listen and Learn” is the Al-Anon prescription .We could all make good progress if only we would cultivate the knack of listening – uncritically – to everything we hear at a meeting or from an Al-Anon friend.
It sometimes happens that the words of those who are unschooled, or those who are negative and confused, can bring us a sudden gem of thought that will help us. If we’re concentrating on dark thoughts about our own problems, we could be missing something that might help us overcome them. If we are contemptuous of some downtrodden, unkempt mortal, using ungrammatical language, our attitude may deprive us of an unexpectedly helpful idea.
TODAY’s REMINDER
An old hymn says “I will listen for Thy voice, lest my footsteps stray,” which may remind us that His voice speaks to us even through the least of His children.
The essential quality of good listening is humility. A holier-than-thou attitude can block out much that we need for our guidance.
“It is the privilege of wisdom to listen.” – Oliver Wendell Holmes
“Listen and Learn” is the Al-Anon prescription .We could all make good progress if only we would cultivate the knack of listening – uncritically – to everything we hear at a meeting or from an Al-Anon friend.
It sometimes happens that the words of those who are unschooled, or those who are negative and confused, can bring us a sudden gem of thought that will help us. If we’re concentrating on dark thoughts about our own problems, we could be missing something that might help us overcome them. If we are contemptuous of some downtrodden, unkempt mortal, using ungrammatical language, our attitude may deprive us of an unexpectedly helpful idea.
TODAY’s REMINDER
An old hymn says “I will listen for Thy voice, lest my footsteps stray,” which may remind us that His voice speaks to us even through the least of His children.
The essential quality of good listening is humility. A holier-than-thou attitude can block out much that we need for our guidance.
“It is the privilege of wisdom to listen.” – Oliver Wendell Holmes
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Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: "Happy Rock" (Gladstone) Oregon
Posts: 1,252
November 12 in The Little Blue Book ONE DAY at a TIME in AL-ANON:
Familiar phrases often fall on deaf ears; even when we listen thoughtfully, we may not analyze their deeper meaning because we’re so used to hearing them.
One evening, a new member, explaining her problem, several times, used the phrase, “It just makes me sick.” The idea she meant to convey was “unbearable” or “frustrating.” But another member, who took it literally, said:
“I was impressed with Jane’s saying that certain occurrences make her sick. I’ve noticed that when I react too emotionally to a situation, even an unjustified verbal attack, it really can make me sick, with actual physical symptoms. Al-Anon has taught me to keep my own well-being in mind; I try not to let myself feel involved when the storm clouds of tension and temper appear. This is healthy thinking – the Al-Anon way.”
TODAY’S REMINDER
I will close my mind to what I hear and see when it tempts me to quarrel or resent. I will receive anger with gentleness to guard my peace of mind.
“It takes time to transform good resolutions into good habits, but it’s worth the effort.”
Familiar phrases often fall on deaf ears; even when we listen thoughtfully, we may not analyze their deeper meaning because we’re so used to hearing them.
One evening, a new member, explaining her problem, several times, used the phrase, “It just makes me sick.” The idea she meant to convey was “unbearable” or “frustrating.” But another member, who took it literally, said:
“I was impressed with Jane’s saying that certain occurrences make her sick. I’ve noticed that when I react too emotionally to a situation, even an unjustified verbal attack, it really can make me sick, with actual physical symptoms. Al-Anon has taught me to keep my own well-being in mind; I try not to let myself feel involved when the storm clouds of tension and temper appear. This is healthy thinking – the Al-Anon way.”
TODAY’S REMINDER
I will close my mind to what I hear and see when it tempts me to quarrel or resent. I will receive anger with gentleness to guard my peace of mind.
“It takes time to transform good resolutions into good habits, but it’s worth the effort.”
Present
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: "Happy Rock" (Gladstone) Oregon
Posts: 1,252
November 13 in The Little Blue Book ONE DAY at a TIME in AL-ANON:
Once upon a time, a new member came to Al-Anon, full of trouble and confusion. She was a willing learner, studied the Steps and tried to use them. The Miraculous Change (the one we’re all searching for) came to her quite soon, and everyone marveled. One evening, she was asked to speak.
“I was eager to get the program, so I read all the Steps at once before starting to work on them one by one. One word in the Eleventh Step stopped me: meditation. Each morning, I set aside ten minutes, and tried to keep my mind on one subject, thinking of all its elements and qualities. At first, I concentrated on the idea of this day to which I had awakened. I’d say, ‘Here is a day full of hours and minutes in which nothing has yet happened. I’ve made no mistakes, suffered no trouble.’ Just then, my willful mind switched over to the happenings of the days just past, and I found myself reliving all the horrors. ‘Stop!’ I said, ‘You’ve lost track of your meditation!’ and back I went to the contemplation of this one single unmarred day. Again, my mind took off in another direction: dread of tomorrow. And again, I brought it back to the subject of today and its unlimited possibilities.
“Gradually, it grew easier to make myself concentrate on one idea, without straying into the thoughts of resentment and fear. I am sure these meditations are giving me a sense of reality about my life. I use it on the Steps, on the Serenity Prayer, and on any helpful spiritual idea. It really works.”
Once upon a time, a new member came to Al-Anon, full of trouble and confusion. She was a willing learner, studied the Steps and tried to use them. The Miraculous Change (the one we’re all searching for) came to her quite soon, and everyone marveled. One evening, she was asked to speak.
“I was eager to get the program, so I read all the Steps at once before starting to work on them one by one. One word in the Eleventh Step stopped me: meditation. Each morning, I set aside ten minutes, and tried to keep my mind on one subject, thinking of all its elements and qualities. At first, I concentrated on the idea of this day to which I had awakened. I’d say, ‘Here is a day full of hours and minutes in which nothing has yet happened. I’ve made no mistakes, suffered no trouble.’ Just then, my willful mind switched over to the happenings of the days just past, and I found myself reliving all the horrors. ‘Stop!’ I said, ‘You’ve lost track of your meditation!’ and back I went to the contemplation of this one single unmarred day. Again, my mind took off in another direction: dread of tomorrow. And again, I brought it back to the subject of today and its unlimited possibilities.
“Gradually, it grew easier to make myself concentrate on one idea, without straying into the thoughts of resentment and fear. I am sure these meditations are giving me a sense of reality about my life. I use it on the Steps, on the Serenity Prayer, and on any helpful spiritual idea. It really works.”
Present
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: "Happy Rock" (Gladstone) Oregon
Posts: 1,252
November 14 in The Little Blue Book ONE DAY at a TIME in AL-ANON:
It seems strange, when I think of it, that God is most vivid to my consciousness when I am in the depths of despair, and all I can say to Him is: “God help me!”
And He does help us when we turn to Him in our great need, for “man’s extremity is God’s opportunity.” An equally imperative reason for prayer is to acknowledge our gratitude. Gratitude is in itself a wholesome and healing force and it becomes all the more real when we make it a regular part of our prayers.
Those of us who lived so long with alcoholism, and can now enjoy the recovery of a loved one from this sickness have good reasons for prayers of gratitude.
TODAY’S REMINDER
I will keep myself aware of the many blessings that come to me each day and remember to be thankful for them.
“You pray in your distress and in your need; would that you might pray also in the fullness of your joy.”
It seems strange, when I think of it, that God is most vivid to my consciousness when I am in the depths of despair, and all I can say to Him is: “God help me!”
And He does help us when we turn to Him in our great need, for “man’s extremity is God’s opportunity.” An equally imperative reason for prayer is to acknowledge our gratitude. Gratitude is in itself a wholesome and healing force and it becomes all the more real when we make it a regular part of our prayers.
Those of us who lived so long with alcoholism, and can now enjoy the recovery of a loved one from this sickness have good reasons for prayers of gratitude.
TODAY’S REMINDER
I will keep myself aware of the many blessings that come to me each day and remember to be thankful for them.
“You pray in your distress and in your need; would that you might pray also in the fullness of your joy.”
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