how do i help my brother

Old 10-05-2011, 10:53 PM
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how do i help my brother

( reposting as initially posted in the wrong forum )

hello all. as per my username im a worried sister. my adult brother;s as yet unidentified drug use has escalated to being completely cracked out every single day. how he manages to hold his job i dont know ( and fear if he has lost it or loses it hell turn to dealing if he has not done so already ). in hindsight the mild symptoms appeared many months ago - lack of sleep on weekends and energetic but in a hyperactive way not maniac as he is now. we do not know what he is taking. am hoping perhaps y'all can help. he currently exhibits these signs :

- VERY VERY VERY hyperactive - visits for 5 minutes ( isnt really all there ) - then has to leave - talks miles a minute - often not mmaking sense
- completely erratic behavior - driving 1 hr away to wash his car ( we ran into him so we know he was washing his car ) while friends hed not seen in ages were at his home / washes his car in the middle of the street at 1am
- this segues into his OCD behavior ( washing his car and spending hours on the treadmill )
- paranoia about little things - he believes our other sibling is " blaming " him for various irrelevant things ( trash in the garage etc )
- does not sleep for days on end
- his eyes look as though theyre going to bulge from their sockets 24/7 ( completely freaks me out ) / unable to make eye contact for more than a few seconds / sweats profusely / has lost 30lb-40lb in a few months ( he is turning into a bag of bones )
- gets EXTREMELY defensive ( has always had a short fuse ) when even our mama comments in a neutral , casual way about his weight etc.

We are very very scared of the road he's taking knowing we cannot help him stop as it is too late. We will not isolate him but we will not enable him. This is going to destroy our mama to see him continue to spiral.

My questions are :

- what could he possibly be on ? ( understandably a stimulant - do the symptoms mirror any specific drug ) if there is any speculation as to what it is - what progression of behavior can we expect ?

- what can i do to protect / help my mama ?

sorry if this is kind of jumbled together but my thoughts on this are like a tangled mess.

Thanks very much
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Old 10-06-2011, 05:44 AM
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Could be cocaine, crack or meth.
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Old 10-06-2011, 06:00 AM
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Yeah, sounds like crank to a tee. The way to described his actions is what "tweakers" do. They are the type of people who will say they are going to the store for a loaf of bread, that they will be right back, but then you wont see them for days. While I personally have never used the drug, I have had many friends who have. I know the drug all to well sadly. Its bad bad stuff.
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Old 10-06-2011, 06:06 AM
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As a long-term recovering meth addict/alcoholic, I'd be willing to bet that it's meth.

The best thing you can do is take care of yourself. Check into local Alanon or Naranon meetings in your area for face-to-face support among those who understand.

Get the book "Codependent No More" by Melody Beattie and read it. Amazon sells used copies cheap.

Take the time to read through the "sticky" topics at the top of this forum and educate yourself on addiction.

Please keep posting, asking questions, venting, whatever you need to do. You are among friends.

Welcome to SR and sending you hugs of support!
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Old 10-06-2011, 06:07 AM
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As for what you can do to help him. Well thats hard to say. If you already havent confronted him about it, do so, but in a loving caring way. He most likely will deny his drug use, but at least it will instill in his mind you know and care.

Other than that, there not much you can do. Hes going to use until he wants to stop. Its a hard thing to watch someone go down that path I know.

Things to watch out for.. Well in my experience, hardcore crank users usually become theifs. They will steal from there own family to support their habbit sadly. Also know they can get violent if they have been awake for 2-3 days. Its not always the case, but just something to keep in mind. One second they could be just fine and dandy, and then the next second something could set them off. Being awake that long messes with your mind.

Hope that helps.

-Ryan
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Old 10-06-2011, 06:14 AM
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Paranoia big time! My AH used to think I worked for the CIA/FBI or some clandestine operation. It can be really scary. Be very careful if your brother gets in this state of mind.
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Old 10-06-2011, 07:39 AM
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Be aware that most Police Departments have a special protocol for handling Crystal Meth (crank) addicts because they are highly umpredictable and trend towards sudden violence.

Please protect yourself and anything of value.

You did not cause this.
You canno0t control this.
You cannot cure this.

Consider taking mama to some Alanon meetings.
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Old 10-06-2011, 08:21 AM
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Don't know much about crack or meth but my AD had those symptoms when on opiates. She was hyper and just as you describe although there was also occasional nodding out and pinpoint pupils althernating with withdrawal symptoms if she couldn't get any. Really your brother could be using any number of hard drugs.
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Old 10-06-2011, 07:19 PM
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first off i want to welcome u to S.R. i am sorry u are here but there is alot of support here. i know u want to help your brother but you need to get help for u & your mom. try to find a meeting. read around here at the different post & all of the stickys on the main page. my addict is my son. his drug of choice is crack. it is a terrible drug. i would hate for you to go thru all the heat ache my daughter went thru. focus on yourself & your mom. there is really nothing u can do to help your brother. my heart goes out to you.
sending prayers up for all of you.
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Old 10-06-2011, 07:53 PM
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thank you all for your kind words of support. they truly mean more than y'all know. the suggestion to hand him a list of NA meetings/crisis numbers is very helpful ( thank you anvil ). we are a bit afraid to outright discuss with him as we can already predict the response. i wish he did not live so near to my mama ( or we could teleport her far away for the time being ) - for her own safety and so she was not subject to his bizarro behavior so regularly. feel awful hes turned into this so soon. we know over the years he'd done other substances recreationally but my goodness what is he on to destroy him like this SO fast ? he is like a shell of who we knew. our mama has an incredible ability to forgive ( which my sibling and i do not have ) and love ( with boundaries of course ). i wish he could grasp this as he spirals out of control. i will look for any marks on his arms if possible ( its chilly here so hes often in long sleeves ).

hope - i am so sorry youre dealing with this yourself. no mother should have to feel this kind of emotional trauma. what has been the biggest mental/emotional hurdle youve dealt with that i should try to look out for in her ? ( she is so strong that she keeps alot inside so as to not ' burden us ' which is crazy of course as shes our num 1 priority )

freedom - thank you - just wanted to mention your " crew " are beautiful - especially that grey faced beauty of a retriever. dogs are truly God's creatures with their ability to help us heal. i fear my own mama;s " baby boy " may be in harms way at some point in the escalation of addiction.
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Old 10-07-2011, 01:29 PM
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If your brother starts acting threatening or violent, I'd call 911. I've been in the situation where I've had to protect my grandparents from my mother's actions. We tried to calm her on our own, but in the end, we had to call the police to have her forceable removed from my grandparents' home. I know that sounds harsh, but the safety for your family is the highest priority. Does he have keys to her house? If so, the locks should probably be changed. It sounds like your mom needs to make sure that she secures her valuables. Where is he getting money for his drug habit?
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Old 10-10-2011, 08:13 PM
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While it is probably meth/crack use, I don't think you can rule out serious mental illness. Seems like he could be manic.
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