Farfalla

My daughter came home from school for the weekend. I was hoping for a non eventful weekend. Well, we went shopping and come home with the groceries. We walk into the house, her jewelry was all over her room, her tv gone, and our big screen in the rec room gone! We were literally gone an hour. Who took it but her father. He came into the house with a key he swiped from our son and took our belongings. He moved into his new apartment today. How could he do this to his kids especially his daughter the weekend she came home?! My wedding band...gone. I called the police and changed the locks. Now this week I am going to have to go to the court and file a RO. The police said if he should come back over the weekend to call them and they will come right out. I am just amazed and the devil he has become. He is just disgusting. How could you do this to your kids?! My daughter saw first hand what I am going through at home. She stated to me today "mom I had no idea it was this bad".

Brockant

My heart goes out to you. Do the best you can....help him find his way to jail. Assuming of course you know that its him.....Best wishes and good luck.

Farfalla

It is him. I text him immediately and his answer was "it is my tv".

YearForMe

The first thing that went thru my mind.....
He was watching...waiting for you to leave.
If so...that is creepy!

I am so sorry you are going thru this!

Farfalla

We literally left for about an hour. I have a huge flight of steps to get downstairs so he had to have had help getting the tv out. My daughters tv he could of just carried out but not the big screen. Then to rummage through her jewelry and my wedding band is gone as well. Seriously! He must of rushed through this house like a crazed man.

Farfalla

Cynical One,
You are right. I understand I was completely wrong for paying his car insurance. Checks are all accounted for and I already had a separate checking and savings account in my own name. My big ticket jewelry is in a safety deposit box that only me and my mom have keys to. I will check the credit cards.

The man I thought he was, if he ever was, is gone.

I blocked his number from contacting any of us and the cell number he did have that was under my plan was suspended (he went and bought himself one of those cricket phones you prepay).

dollydo

Is the car insurance in both your names, or is he just a desiginated driver? How about the vehicles?

This is only the tip of the iceberg, he is out of control, pay attention to your mail as my exabf was stealing my mail, took me awhile to figure that out, I don't want to tell you
the havoc that caused. I put through a forwarding and had my mail sent somewhere else for a month, he finally gave up.

Keep all your texts from him, get that RO, sit down with your attorney, clarify your direction and follow through.

I am sorry, yet, not surprised, been there, not a happy place!

Ann

Check the middle checks in your checkbooks, for missing numbers, and maybe get an alarm system installed.

I know too well how you feel, my son once got a portable TV out in his backpack and every time he stole from us I felt angry and sad and voilated.

It's a terrible thing that happened, but perhaps it is good that your daughter got to see first hand the chaos of living with an active addict.

Hugs

hello-kitty

Be careful.... I'm so glad you changed the locks. Are you filing an RO with the police?

Kindeyes

Wow. I'm so sorry that you are dealing with this.

gentle hugs for you today
ke

Justfor1

Maybe check the pawn shops to see if he pawned the items and call the police! He is out of control & seems dangerous. I agree with the other poster that perhaps he was watching your house to see when you would leave. That is scary!

fourmaggie

my prayers are for you today...

going to Al Anon? or Nar Anon....this too will help my friend....

outtolunch

His actions speak louder than the words he uses to manipulate his family.

mooselips

Yes, unfortunately, been there, done that, with both of my sons, although we didn't have a big screen T.V. then...

Contact your lawyer, get it all written down, make yourself as safe as you possible can, and join Alanon.

If you are the resposible one, paying for any of HIS bills, like his car insurance, now would be a good time to stop.


hugs and hugs.
stay safe.

Justfor1

I agree you should stop paying his car insurance. Of course, it is most likely that he will continue to drive anyways. There are ways that one can obtain fake insurance cards. Addicts believe that normal laws in society do not apply to them. He clearly is showing you that he is a criminal.

outtolunch

You may want to consider looking into getting a new policy that does not include him. Then cancel the former policy and get a refund. You likely would be eleigible for a reduced premium without his DUI baggage.

laurie6781

I also believe that NJ law is like here in NM, when you cancel a policy the Ins Co. must inform the DMV IMMEDIATELY. Of course, by switching to a new policy just for you, and possibly with a new company the DMV also is notified IMMEDIATELY of the new insurance. DMV updates tag numbers w/o insurance several times a day.

Having a fake ins card will not help him if he is stopped, his tag number will be on athe 'list' that is on the computer that can be accessed from the patrol car.

I would make out a 'police report' so it is on record and can be used as additional evidence for a RO.

Prayers going out to you and your daughter.

Love and hugs,

Farfalla

Thank you everyone for all the good suggestions. I have a busy week ahead of me. Any additional suggestions please keep them coming.

dollydo

Laurie is right, you need to file a formal police report.

I know that you have alot on your plate, it does get overwhelming at times, however, I believe that you will prevail.

Keep us posted, we are here for you.

Farfalla

Yes I will. Much to do.
How do you get through the sadness that overwhelms you at night thinking about your situation? It seems to hit me hard at night.