Husband in opiate detox tonight
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: miami, fl
Posts: 3
Husband in opiate detox tonight
I have recently started reading the forums here and appreciate all of the information I have learned. My husband has become addicted to pain medication after a failed back surgery. I did not realize the extent of the addiction until the last two weeks when he was discharged from his pain doc for evidence he had seen more than one doctor.
He checked himself into detox today. He has legitimate back pain so I am concerned about whether or not he will be able to handle the pain with no medication; however, it is obvious he can't have opiates for pain medication. A part of me feels he deserves the pain for all he has put this family through over the recent years. I have a lot of resentment and anger at him. I know it is a disease at this point; however, I feel he wouldn't be in this position if he had taken the medication exactly as prescribed from the beginning.
I had been planning to get a divorce but had been unable to bc our finances have become so screwed up we can't afford to live apart. And it always felt like he needed a babysitter. I am tired of being a babysitter. Now if he has no pain meds and his back is even worse he will be even more dependent.
I am just beginning to realize how I enabled him to become this way. I attended my first Nar-anon meeting last week. I want to start healing myself and giving the kids more of what they need. I still want a divorce but he cries and cries for another chance, after he has had so many chances. I guess I don't even have a question at this point. Just feel hopeless.
He checked himself into detox today. He has legitimate back pain so I am concerned about whether or not he will be able to handle the pain with no medication; however, it is obvious he can't have opiates for pain medication. A part of me feels he deserves the pain for all he has put this family through over the recent years. I have a lot of resentment and anger at him. I know it is a disease at this point; however, I feel he wouldn't be in this position if he had taken the medication exactly as prescribed from the beginning.
I had been planning to get a divorce but had been unable to bc our finances have become so screwed up we can't afford to live apart. And it always felt like he needed a babysitter. I am tired of being a babysitter. Now if he has no pain meds and his back is even worse he will be even more dependent.
I am just beginning to realize how I enabled him to become this way. I attended my first Nar-anon meeting last week. I want to start healing myself and giving the kids more of what they need. I still want a divorce but he cries and cries for another chance, after he has had so many chances. I guess I don't even have a question at this point. Just feel hopeless.
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Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: The Jungle
Posts: 5,435
Welcome to SR.....this is a great forum with many people who have faced the problems of living with or loving an addict.
I hope you stick around. We learn and gain strength from each other. You are not alone.
gentle hugs
ke
I hope you stick around. We learn and gain strength from each other. You are not alone.
gentle hugs
ke
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Kansas
Posts: 10,182
Originally Posted by bethie 
I attended my first Nar-anon meeting last week. I want to start healing myself and giving the kids more of what they need.
I'd also like to recommend the book "Codependent No More" by Melody Beattie, a real-eye opener for me for sure.
Welcome to SR! I hope you continue to post, and know you are among friends.
Sending you hugs of support!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Canada
Posts: 10
It's sad to have someone in your life so dependent on you and in such a sticky situation, especially when you feel the need to get away (along with the fact that he will be in physical pain once he quits).
I have a sister in a similar situation. She's been relying on our immediate family for years. We finally sent her out on her own (very close by) and she seems to be doing okay. We are close enough to keep a good eye on her by the resentment and weight has been lifted off most of our shoulders since she's left but we definitely haven't cut her out of our lives. I'm not saying to send him out on his own but just to let you know that even a small step can make a huge difference in your own life. You don't have to do anything drastic - start small.
Can you talk to a doctor about alternate treatment options?
The best advice I've received was from my grandmother: You have to take care of yourself first before you can take care of others. Do what's right for you and your children and husband will benefit thereafter.
It's good that you are here.
I have a sister in a similar situation. She's been relying on our immediate family for years. We finally sent her out on her own (very close by) and she seems to be doing okay. We are close enough to keep a good eye on her by the resentment and weight has been lifted off most of our shoulders since she's left but we definitely haven't cut her out of our lives. I'm not saying to send him out on his own but just to let you know that even a small step can make a huge difference in your own life. You don't have to do anything drastic - start small.
Can you talk to a doctor about alternate treatment options?
The best advice I've received was from my grandmother: You have to take care of yourself first before you can take care of others. Do what's right for you and your children and husband will benefit thereafter.
It's good that you are here.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Crazy Land USA
Posts: 259
bethie,
Welcome! It is extremely hard. I too have an substance abuse addicted spouse who was originally prescribed Percocets for a back injury probably about 10 years ago as well. The dosage kept increasing and the abuse started and spiraled out of control. He snorts his meds too. He also smokes marijuana. I am unsure who I love because did I ever really know the real him? I am in therapy. He refuses treatment. Keep reading. Keep posting. Keep praying. We are all here for you. Hugs your way.
Welcome! It is extremely hard. I too have an substance abuse addicted spouse who was originally prescribed Percocets for a back injury probably about 10 years ago as well. The dosage kept increasing and the abuse started and spiraled out of control. He snorts his meds too. He also smokes marijuana. I am unsure who I love because did I ever really know the real him? I am in therapy. He refuses treatment. Keep reading. Keep posting. Keep praying. We are all here for you. Hugs your way.
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