Involuntary treatment, Should I File for Son?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2011
Posts: 317
Involuntary treatment, Should I File for Son?
As a last resort, I am thinking about filing for involuntary treatment for my son who is addicted to, and shoots Oxy.
I wonderd if anyone has done this, or what your thoughts are about it.
Thank you
I wonderd if anyone has done this, or what your thoughts are about it.
Thank you
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
How old is your son? That matters because if he is over 16 you may have trouble with this in most states (not sure how it works where you live).
If he is underage, I think I would encourage any method possible, although the odds are still not good that the sobriety would last...but the odds are better if they are young and perhaps haven't created a "lifestyle" of addiction.
If not, you may find yourself like most of us other moms who try everything then finally let go when we realize that nothing we do or don't do will stop them, only they themselves can do that when they are ready.
Take a read around and make yourself comfortable here. You will find many who have been where you are and who will want to welcome you too.
I am so sorry about your son, I know your pain.
Hugs
If he is underage, I think I would encourage any method possible, although the odds are still not good that the sobriety would last...but the odds are better if they are young and perhaps haven't created a "lifestyle" of addiction.
If not, you may find yourself like most of us other moms who try everything then finally let go when we realize that nothing we do or don't do will stop them, only they themselves can do that when they are ready.
Take a read around and make yourself comfortable here. You will find many who have been where you are and who will want to welcome you too.
I am so sorry about your son, I know your pain.
Hugs
Member
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: twilight zone,usa
Posts: 3,909
welcome to S.R. i feel your pain. in answer to your question. i agree with ann. it depends on how old he is. when they are underage u try to do what u can until u see your life is getting unmanagable. the truth of the matter is, is the fact u have no control over him or this drug. he drug is powerful, more so than you. read around & keep coming back. we r here for you.hugs & prayers,
I'm no angel!
Join Date: May 2005
Location: tampa, fl
Posts: 6,728
As I previously read he is 24, an adult. I don't know where you live, however, I would doubt that you will be able to do anything. It is his choice to go or not go into rehab.
You cannnot resolve his problems, his addiction, this is totally up to him. What you can do is not enable him, get yourself to some Naranon meetings, read Codependent No More and start letting go.
You do not have the power to control him, his actions.
You cannnot resolve his problems, his addiction, this is totally up to him. What you can do is not enable him, get yourself to some Naranon meetings, read Codependent No More and start letting go.
You do not have the power to control him, his actions.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Eastern Time Zone
Posts: 1,011
I see you live in Florida and do have something in the court system that most states do not have.
You are on a journey as is your son. If I had that resource through the court (is it called the Marshman Act?), I would probably utilize it even if everybody and their brother told me it would do no good if the addict himself was not ready for a drug-free life. That resource was put there for family members to act on someone else's behalf.
If you go to Alanon/Naranon meetings down there then that would be a great place to find people to talk to who have utilized that resource.
I'm praying for you today.
You are on a journey as is your son. If I had that resource through the court (is it called the Marshman Act?), I would probably utilize it even if everybody and their brother told me it would do no good if the addict himself was not ready for a drug-free life. That resource was put there for family members to act on someone else's behalf.
If you go to Alanon/Naranon meetings down there then that would be a great place to find people to talk to who have utilized that resource.
I'm praying for you today.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2011
Posts: 317
Son is 24, addicted for 7 years
Yes, I found “The Marshall Act” online last night. My son came home with “cotton fever” (cotton particles got into his blood stream from filtering Oxy to shoot) last night. As far as I read, I can file with the Florida court’s metal health division, and I basically have to prove he is out of control (he is). I am afraid he will die, if he does not get treatment. I also found out he is drinking, doing Xanax, LSD, DEX, an crack. Not as often as the Oxy, but he seems to be doing anything he can get his hands on. I think I am going to involuntary treatment try. I don’t care if he hates me it.
On the other hand, I understand what a lot of people are saying regarding the fact that he has to want to help himself, and I do agree, and it is highly possible, that he will go back to using when he gets out of treatment (if I win the case and he has to go to rehab). There is the slight chance that he will recover. That is why I think this might be worth pursuing.
This forum has been a life saver for me, and I went online last night and found a Naranon meeting in my area. I am trying to muster up the courage to attend.
Again, thank you for your support; I hope I can help other people some day like you are helping me.
P.S.
My son tried to bully me out of some money this morning and I said “NO.” I am going to have to get used to saying no.
Yes, I found “The Marshall Act” online last night. My son came home with “cotton fever” (cotton particles got into his blood stream from filtering Oxy to shoot) last night. As far as I read, I can file with the Florida court’s metal health division, and I basically have to prove he is out of control (he is). I am afraid he will die, if he does not get treatment. I also found out he is drinking, doing Xanax, LSD, DEX, an crack. Not as often as the Oxy, but he seems to be doing anything he can get his hands on. I think I am going to involuntary treatment try. I don’t care if he hates me it.
On the other hand, I understand what a lot of people are saying regarding the fact that he has to want to help himself, and I do agree, and it is highly possible, that he will go back to using when he gets out of treatment (if I win the case and he has to go to rehab). There is the slight chance that he will recover. That is why I think this might be worth pursuing.
This forum has been a life saver for me, and I went online last night and found a Naranon meeting in my area. I am trying to muster up the courage to attend.
Again, thank you for your support; I hope I can help other people some day like you are helping me.
P.S.
My son tried to bully me out of some money this morning and I said “NO.” I am going to have to get used to saying no.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Kansas
Posts: 10,182
I don't think there is anything wrong with trying to get him committed.
We have to do what we can live with.
Personally I hit a bottom at age 28. I had blown out all the veins in my arms, carried 109 pounds on a 6' frame, and was pregnant.
Treatment saved my life and gave me a running start on recovery.
Although I made the choice to drink/use again after 4 years in recovery, I was only out there for 2 months before I got back into recovery.
This past August I celebrated 21 years clean/sober, so recovery is possible, even for an IV drug user.
Sending you hugs of support!
We have to do what we can live with.
Personally I hit a bottom at age 28. I had blown out all the veins in my arms, carried 109 pounds on a 6' frame, and was pregnant.
Treatment saved my life and gave me a running start on recovery.
Although I made the choice to drink/use again after 4 years in recovery, I was only out there for 2 months before I got back into recovery.
This past August I celebrated 21 years clean/sober, so recovery is possible, even for an IV drug user.
Sending you hugs of support!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: The Jungle
Posts: 5,435
I think I am going to involuntary treatment try. I don’t care if he hates me it.
I also found out he is drinking, doing Xanax, LSD, DEX, an crack. Not as often as the Oxy, but he seems to be doing anything he can get his hands on.
This forum has been a life saver for me, and I went online last night and found a Naranon meeting in my area. I am trying to muster up the courage to attend.
gentle hugs
ke
Member
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: St. Louis, Mo. USA
Posts: 265
((December2011))
Welcome to SR, sorry for your pain. I know it well we all do here. But I am glad you found us. It helps to here others stories and issues that we deal with having an addict in the family. It's the only way we family members can find our way through this misery of addiction. It is true that it affects the family as a hole. We can not control them, but we most certainly can control ourselves.
It is hard being a parent and wanting the best for our children. We will do anything to help them and make there suffering less. It is natural for our parents and there parents have done it for generations. But they did not have the drug epidemic we do. It is time to re-think our way of handling the situation. Let's face it, what we have been doing has not fixed the problem. It only drags us into it, and makes us the enablers.
It is a disease that only they can recover from. It is fought with pain and tears. It is a mountain that they must climb themselves. ** you can't do it for him}
We have done our job as parents. We feel as if we failed somehow. But we've only failed to let them go, and feel there own consequences. It is time to let go and let God. They know how to manipulate us, and make things work out for them. Now you are going through the hardest test of parenthood. To have to count on the fact you have done everything to prepare your son for life. To turn him loose to be the man you raised him to be. For anything else will hold him back and keep him right ware he is with a future of jail or death.
I have dealt with the addict for 6 years and in out of rehab 5 times with two sons. Until I found al-anon and especially nar-anon I had not realized all I was doing was prolonging the problem and not helping that I finally stepped away. There recovery is there's and nar-anon and SR is mine.
As far as forced rehab it don't work. ... They must want it !
I recommend you think of YOU and the rest of the family, let him find his own way.
My prayers are with you, and sending you strength.
Welcome to SR, sorry for your pain. I know it well we all do here. But I am glad you found us. It helps to here others stories and issues that we deal with having an addict in the family. It's the only way we family members can find our way through this misery of addiction. It is true that it affects the family as a hole. We can not control them, but we most certainly can control ourselves.
It is hard being a parent and wanting the best for our children. We will do anything to help them and make there suffering less. It is natural for our parents and there parents have done it for generations. But they did not have the drug epidemic we do. It is time to re-think our way of handling the situation. Let's face it, what we have been doing has not fixed the problem. It only drags us into it, and makes us the enablers.
It is a disease that only they can recover from. It is fought with pain and tears. It is a mountain that they must climb themselves. ** you can't do it for him}
We have done our job as parents. We feel as if we failed somehow. But we've only failed to let them go, and feel there own consequences. It is time to let go and let God. They know how to manipulate us, and make things work out for them. Now you are going through the hardest test of parenthood. To have to count on the fact you have done everything to prepare your son for life. To turn him loose to be the man you raised him to be. For anything else will hold him back and keep him right ware he is with a future of jail or death.
I have dealt with the addict for 6 years and in out of rehab 5 times with two sons. Until I found al-anon and especially nar-anon I had not realized all I was doing was prolonging the problem and not helping that I finally stepped away. There recovery is there's and nar-anon and SR is mine.
As far as forced rehab it don't work. ... They must want it !
I recommend you think of YOU and the rest of the family, let him find his own way.
My prayers are with you, and sending you strength.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 136
Originally Posted by cynical one 
...what you end up with is an even angrier, more resentful addict that will just go deeper into the subculture.
December - If you try to force your son into treatment, the situation will probably get worse. He's already in denial about his addiction and the dangerous behaviors that go along with it, so forcing him into something that he does not want to or is not ready to do will only push him further away and deeper into the world of drug addiction.
The only thing you can do is let him go. If you continue to view HIS addiction as YOUR PROBLEM, this cycle will never end. I know it is difficult to just let go of someone you love, but it is the best thing for your entire family. You are NOT responsible for him or his choices and behaviors. He is an adult and he has to make his own choices and deal with the consequences of those choices ON HIS OWN.
In the meantime, try getting to a nar-anon or al-anon meeting and find a sponsor, someone who you can confide in and rely on for emotional support. Or if you are not comfortable with going to meetings, try therapy. It has done a world of wonder for me, but I have also put a lot of time and effort into my own recovery. Once you are focused on YOUR RECOVERY, you will soon begin to feel some peace.
Take care of yourself,
Belgian Sheepdog Adictee
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: In Today
Posts: 6,101
You also have "The Baker Act" in Florida which can get him put immediately into a psych facility while you get the long term through the courts.
He is a 'danger' to himself and possibly others right now.
As you already know rehab short or long term unless the A wants it, but I M H O, since your son is in the condition he is right now, it certainly is worth a shot.
Please keep posting and let us know how YOU are dong as we do care so very much.
Love and hugs,
He is a 'danger' to himself and possibly others right now.
As you already know rehab short or long term unless the A wants it, but I M H O, since your son is in the condition he is right now, it certainly is worth a shot.
Please keep posting and let us know how YOU are dong as we do care so very much.
Love and hugs,
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: In a good place
Posts: 4,482
The golden rule for enablers is don't do for others what they can and should do for themselves.
Your son is not able to do for himself because his brain is hijacked.
I'm all for halting the addiction at whatever cost in good conscience. Forced rehab/treatment is better than none. Whatever choices he makes after that are his to own, but at least he'll have a choice.
Your son is not able to do for himself because his brain is hijacked.
I'm all for halting the addiction at whatever cost in good conscience. Forced rehab/treatment is better than none. Whatever choices he makes after that are his to own, but at least he'll have a choice.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Chicago area
Posts: 4,269
My understanding of the Marchman Act is that it takes time and he will be appointed an attorney to defend him. Best ( or worst) case depending on one's view, the court will order treatment on a voluntary basis.
Being an addict is not a crime and does not warrant a lock down facility.
Some families use the threat of the act ( and the addict's ignorance) as a part of an intervention to encourage the addict to seek treatment.
Treatment at best, teaches a highly motivated addict, the tools of recovery.
Treatment usually fails because the addict is not motivated and expects a magical solution.
If you intend to pursue, do so knowing that you are doing this for you, to know that you have done everything possible to give him another opportunity. Then let go of the outcome. It's his recovery or not.
Being an addict is not a crime and does not warrant a lock down facility.
Some families use the threat of the act ( and the addict's ignorance) as a part of an intervention to encourage the addict to seek treatment.
Treatment at best, teaches a highly motivated addict, the tools of recovery.
Treatment usually fails because the addict is not motivated and expects a magical solution.
If you intend to pursue, do so knowing that you are doing this for you, to know that you have done everything possible to give him another opportunity. Then let go of the outcome. It's his recovery or not.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2011
Posts: 317
Thank you
Originally Posted by Freedom1990
This past August I celebrated 21 years clean/sober, so recovery is possible, even for an IV drug user.
Sending you hugs of support!
Sending you hugs of support!
I know you didn't what to be an addict, and it must have been painful for you as well as your family.
Thank you so much.
Big hugs
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2011
Posts: 317
Courage
Originally Posted by Kindeyes
We all do (and have done)
I hope you do work up the courage. I think you'll find that you are warmly welcomed. Everyone in the room understands the courage it takes to come in there. And keep going back. For me, none of it made sense at first. It sounded like a bunch of jumbled nonsense--I was just that confused and hurting. It took several months for me to begin to unravel what it all meant and begin applying it to my life. It works if you work it.
gentle hugs
ke
I hope you do work up the courage. I think you'll find that you are warmly welcomed. Everyone in the room understands the courage it takes to come in there. And keep going back. For me, none of it made sense at first. It sounded like a bunch of jumbled nonsense--I was just that confused and hurting. It took several months for me to begin to unravel what it all meant and begin applying it to my life. It works if you work it.
gentle hugs
ke
Thank you again, and to everyone that takes their valuable time with their encouragment and advice.
D
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2011
Posts: 317
letting go... akkkkkk!
Originally Posted by outtolunch
If you intend to pursue, do so knowing that you are doing this for you, to know that you have done everything possible to give him another opportunity. Then let go of the outcome. It's his recovery or not.
I have been doing every possible thing for a few years now, to no avail.
I think I have not let go yet. There is the driving motherly force that thinks I can save him, I can fix this, there has to be a way to control this. I have even thought that if I stop eating and tell, him I will not eat again until he goes into treatment, that will do it. I know I am starting to sound very crazy.
I guess I do not yeat belive I can't fix this. I somehow think I am going to be the one to beat ther ods, or spen my life taking care of him.
I am struggling with this a lot.
I did decide to go to Naranon, and am going to go next Thursday.
the girl can't help it
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: splendraville
Posts: 5,599
((((December2011))
Welcome!
I am glad you want to try and reach out here as you can see from the large number of post I have(look under name) I have come here to be consoled and to console others we have needed each other and helped one another. I am forever grateful for this place and the comfort I have found here. I too have been sober for many years and have also had my greatest struggles with want to "help" my loved ones get clean
Be gentle with yourself and if writing helps do it.
Welcome!
I am glad you want to try and reach out here as you can see from the large number of post I have(look under name) I have come here to be consoled and to console others we have needed each other and helped one another. I am forever grateful for this place and the comfort I have found here. I too have been sober for many years and have also had my greatest struggles with want to "help" my loved ones get clean
Be gentle with yourself and if writing helps do it.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: USA
Posts: 2,684
As a mom of an adult son, who has struggled with substance abuse and other demons, I can understand your pain. I am sending wishes for some peace of mind in days ahead as you take positive steps and reach out.
I imagine it might be hard to sit and wait till Thursday comes! I have found the support of those at Nar-Anon meetings to be helpful and didn't feel so isolated and hopeless, once I began to take steps to reach up and out of my (mom surely can help fix it for him) misery.
Hope you keep coming back. Take care.
I imagine it might be hard to sit and wait till Thursday comes! I have found the support of those at Nar-Anon meetings to be helpful and didn't feel so isolated and hopeless, once I began to take steps to reach up and out of my (mom surely can help fix it for him) misery.
Hope you keep coming back. Take care.
Journey To Me
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Kyle, Texas
Posts: 395
I am sorry for you situation. I'm glad to read that you will be attending Nar-anon, as this will be helpful to you.
Given your son's current state, I think that involuntary treatment is worth a try. At least he will be given the opportunity to make a clear choice. However, just know that this decision is more for you than for him. Don't go into this expecting a certain outcome. Instead look at as you have done all that you can, and leave the rest up to him.
Good luck, and continue to keep us up to date. Be kind to yourself.
Given your son's current state, I think that involuntary treatment is worth a try. At least he will be given the opportunity to make a clear choice. However, just know that this decision is more for you than for him. Don't go into this expecting a certain outcome. Instead look at as you have done all that you can, and leave the rest up to him.
Good luck, and continue to keep us up to date. Be kind to yourself.
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