is it really possible #2?
 

good afternoon everyone. is it really possible #2? well, i guess it really is. my ah has not seen his 2 kids in six months. has not made any attempt to meet w/ my lawyer to come up w/ some kind of agreement about arranging visitation for himself. he is already behind on child support and it only started in June. he is sending same texts like he did 6 months ago and basically has not moved one inch in his denial (if he did move it surely must have been into greater denial).

so much for my update about him. as far as me, i am slowly (very slowly) digesting the fact that it is really possible. the man that i thought i was married to is nowhere in sight. what happened to the person who was ALWAYS paying all his bills ahead of time? what happened to the caring and loving person, who actually used to put others ahead of himself? i don't know. either that person is gone or all of it was just a big cover up to disguise his real self and his real intentions.

either way, it doesn't really matter. in a way, i am a little bit relieved that his true colors are showing and i can see (however slowly) that i did the right thing by leaving w/ kids. slowly, i realize that the things w/ his addiction are not only as bad as i thought, but seem to be much worse than i even anticipated.

other than that, the new baby girl is coming in about 6 weeks. i'm nowhere near ready, but it is ok. little babies have a way of getting things worked out for themselves. i wasn't ready for the first two either, but i figured it out. at least this time, i don't have additional stress of addiction hanging over my head. a little sad b/c this is going to be the first baby w/out my husband in the picture, but that's ok, too.

sorry this post is so long. look forward to hearing from everyone. i have been reading other posts, but hadn't really updated you guys myself.

hugs and prayers to everyone. thank you in advance for responding.:grouphug:

i am so happy u found s.r. it can help you alot if you keep coming back. there is alot of support here. congrats on the baby. what will it be? i am sure u can get stressed out but remember we r here to help u thru this. you have a new beginning.things may seem tough right now but u made the right decision & u will get thur this. i am sending up prayers for you. let me know how u r doing. ((((pacificsunrise)))) i promise it will get better. see if u can find a face to face meeting.

I can't wait to hear all the details about this new baby! I love babies and really want to hear all about it. Your attitude is amazing and you are being such a good mom. I'm sorry that your husband is missing out on all of this but addiction is a nasty thief....so unfair! Who knows who anyone is when addiction takes over - and what is left of who they were.

This is really tough stuff but you can do it...which you already obviously are. It's amazing how strong we can be when we have to be.....sending you lots of love and support!

thank you all for responding and for your sincere support and prayers. you are right, things do get better with time. i still struggle with the notion of whether i made the right choice, but not nearly as much as i did in the beginning.

i find it hard to believe that it's been 6 months. i never thought i would be gone from home for this long. it is incredible to me that denial can be so strong. often i wonder if it is a choice on his part or if he is gone beyond being able to choose any more.

i wish him the best, but i know that there is nothing that i can do to make him realize what he needs to do to save himself. the whole thing is really sad and the time will tell if he will recover or sink even further.

hugs and prayers to everyone and thank you all at SR for continuous support.
love you all guys.

I had my second daughter with no support in any shape or form from her father.

I shared the joys of pregnancy and the upcoming birth with my friends in recovery.

One of my sponsors at the time was with me through my labor and present during Amber's birth.

It was truly a gift to me to have the support of others in this journey of healing and self-discovery.

You are coping with your situation admirably. Living life on life's terms. Loving your children. Facing reality. You're ok.

I loved being pregnant. I love babies. They just smell good (except the poop).

gentle hugs
ke

You are an amazing woman and you will be just fine. I wish we could all be there with you and help during the days ahead.

Keeping you and your children and this new sweet baby too, all in my prayers.

Big hugs