LSU417

My husband is an alcoholic. Wow that is really hard to say. I am so tired of his behavior. it isn't all the time but sometimes he gets so drunk he is annoying. He won't shut up and says hurtful things. Like tonight we were over at a friends and out of no where he calls me selfish and that I am treating him like crap. We have two kids and while I was trying to get food fixed for one I asked him to fix food for another. He always tells me this when he has been drinking too much.
I talk to him about it and he says he is sorry or doesn't remember it. Surprise there.... He says he will cut back which he does and it lasts a few days or a week. Then it will gradually slip out of control.
We have 2 daughters 5 and 6. He tells me all the time when he is sober that I have given him the world and how lucky he is. If this is true why won't he stop drinking.
I really needs some advice. If you have been through this what worked for you? Is it ever going to get better?

MeredithD1

The three C's: You didn't CAUSE it, you can't CONTROL it, you can't CURE it.

When he is sober, he sees the truth. When he is drinking, everything distorts.

No matter how lucky he knows he is, he is an alcoholic, and alcoholism is a disease that defies logic.

He continues to drink because he is an alcoholic.

He doesn't stop drinking because he is an alcoholic.

No matter how lucky he knows he is. No matter how good you are to him. No matter that he is a father.

Choosing sobriety is up to him, and him alone.

Freedom1990

Does it ever get better in active alcoholism? No. Alcoholism is a progressive disease. It only gets worse, never better, if left untreated.

Based on that information, what kind of future do you want for you and those precious children?

Sending you hugs of support.

Mrsoptimist

Im new to this forum but wanted to chime in. I also have daughters, age 6 and 7. At this time last year, I could have written your post verbatim. It took my husband curled up in the back seat of our car thinking demons were coming for him before I realized what a crisis he was in. A pp said it will only get worse if left untreated, (untreated is the key word). Would he be willing to at least go talk to someone, or go to a family counselor who can help you communicate with him? If not, all you can do is take care of yourself and those kids. And I'm finding that coming here for support is a great thing.

hello-kitty

Hi. Have you heard of Alanon? It's a face to face support group for family/friends of alcoholics. Google it and see when the meetings in your area are held.

Alcoholism doesn't get better unless a person quits drinking forever. It just gets progressively worse. And unfortunately, you cannot fix him. You didn't cause his disease. You can't control his disease. And you can't cure his disease. That's completely up to him. And usually alcoholics have to lose an awful lot before they seek help for their problem. And some never do. You just can't know.

There is a great book called Codependent No More. It can help you recognize your role in all this, set boundaries, stop enabling and help you make wise choices for you and your daughters future.