Should I buy him cigarettes?
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 16
Should I buy him cigarettes?
My pill addicted husband has relapsed and now he is also a crack addict. This is all very new information to me and he says he really wants to be done with the crack. He hasn't had pills in probably a week. I realize I am very codependant. I'm making some progress, though. He has no money (he also hasn't given me part of his paycheck in weeks like he is supposed to). Should I be buying him cigarettes? Obviously I'm not giving him cash, I would have to go get them for him.
I don't do for someone else what they can/should be doing for themselves. If your AH is not budgeting his paycheck, why should you pay the price, including purchasing his cigarettes.
Ultimately the decision is up to you of course.
I recently helped my youngest daughter with groceries but she was working two part-time jobs and having trouble making ends meet after paying bills. That is a situation I did not mind helping with as she was being responsible with what money she did have.
Just my two cents worth.
Ultimately the decision is up to you of course.
I recently helped my youngest daughter with groceries but she was working two part-time jobs and having trouble making ends meet after paying bills. That is a situation I did not mind helping with as she was being responsible with what money she did have.
Just my two cents worth.
Don't buy him anything...if he can come up with the money to support his addiction, he can also find the funds to buy cigarettes, food, etc.
Stay strong and keep up the tough love.
Sending hugs and strength your way,
Stay strong and keep up the tough love.
Sending hugs and strength your way,
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 16
Thanks for the support. I went to an Alanon meeting once a couple of years ago. I felt very uncomfortable. I'm kind of shy, so it makes it difficult. I'm looking to try another one soon. However, I feel really strong because I have a good relationship with God. It has only gotten stronger, and I can't help but wonder if that is why this has happened in my life.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 75
No way! My AXBF's mother and grandmother like to buy him food (so he eats healthy), wash his clothes and do other little things for him. I see this as enabling. He doesn't appreciate it or do anything for them. He just takes it for granted now, like they should be taking care of him (he's 34) and what he saves he can spend on beer and cigarettes, drugs, and toys like guitars and camping gear.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Seattle, WA
Posts: 3,335
Do not buy a crack addict cigarettes. If he wants smokes, he can cut back on his rock purchases and buy them himself. That's coming from a former crack head.
Making things easy or comfortable on an active addict only feeds the addiction and the illusion that "my drug problem isn't so bad... my wife still buys me smokes!")
Making things easy or comfortable on an active addict only feeds the addiction and the illusion that "my drug problem isn't so bad... my wife still buys me smokes!")
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